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Jokes

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8,273 currently tickling their funny bone users here now
Welcome to /r/Jokes!
Guidelines and Information
  • Offensive jokes are fine as long as they are still jokes. We do make exceptions for extremely racist jokes
  • Keep the comment section civil and light hearted.
  • Personal attacks will not be tolerated. If you want to be a dick, go to /r/insults
  • Jokes must be in text format, no linking allowed. (YouTube, Imgur, etc)
  • Reposts are allowed with some exceptions, such as reposting a joke already on the front page. Calling out OP for reposting is also allowed.
  • This subreddit is not a platform for blatant self-promotion
These are jokes. Some of them are old, and as such reflect the tone of the times. Some of them are new, and just as offensive. Unless it's spam, it stays.
If you find certain comments or submissions here offensive, the best way to address it is with more speech.
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spoilers = [spoilers](#s)
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submitted by Evilblueyoshi
Dad: Say "Sorry"
Son: For what?
Dad: Say "Sorry"
Son: But for what?
Dad: First say you're sorry.
Son: But what did I do?
Dad: Do it, say "Sorry" first.
Son: Just tell me why!
Dad: Say it.
Son: Ok, Dad! I'm sorry!
Dad: Your training is complete. You apologized without a reason. You have my blessing.
top 200 commentsshow all 347
[–]heywhatsupjello 3317 points3318 points3319 points  (112 children)
"Hi Sorry, I'm Dad! Still got it, woo!"
[–]fei-chang-ming 1120 points1121 points1122 points  (92 children)
Are you fucking sorry?
[–]nabit22 459 points460 points461 points  (62 children)
No, I'M sorry
[–]LeSquidliestOne 277 points278 points279 points  (29 children)
Are you fucking yourself then?
[–]Pm_Me_Jill_Valentine 246 points247 points248 points  (27 children)
No, I'm fucking yourself.
[–]XXXnatasliahXXX 310 points311 points312 points  (25 children)
Hi Fucking Yourself. I'm dad.
[–]RDDemon 144 points145 points146 points  (23 children)
Why are you fucking yourself I'm dad?
[–]XXXnatasliahXXX 117 points118 points119 points  (8 children)
Because Sarah left me.
[–]Smelly_Umbrella 21 points22 points23 points  (6 children)
/u/famthroaway, tell me it's not true
[–]Chexen99344 24 points25 points26 points  (5 children)
Saaaaaaay it aint sooooooooo~
His loooove is a heartbreakeeeer.
[–]philipjeremypatrick 17 points18 points19 points  (0 children)
Because you named me fucking yourself I'm dad, dad.
[–]Alarid 54 points55 points56 points  (18 children)
You like that, you fucking retard?
[–]holdencawffle 12 points13 points14 points  (3 children)
We're ALL sorry on this blessed day :)
[–]duckhunttoptier 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
oh canada
[–]DavidDove 6 points7 points8 points  (2 children)
I'm Hugh Mungus.
[–]DaDeltaDrum 20 points21 points22 points  (1 child)
No, we're just friends :)
[–]WhyLater 15 points16 points17 points  (0 children)
No, this is Patrick.
[–]FanofWhiskey 27 points28 points29 points  (1 child)
Pastor said all dad jokes came to us on 2 stone tablets from the Father.
[–]CrikeyMikeyLikey 569 points570 points571 points  (10 children)
RE:FW:FW:FW:FW: THOUGHT YOU'D GET A CHUCKLE FROM THIS, SON
[–]djfreekyfresh 24 points25 points26 points  (4 children)
u 'avin a chukle there m8?
[–]McZorlack13 4 points5 points6 points  (1 child)
Oh my god I love that sub
[–]Pyrrhic_Song -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
I.....yes I saw it too.
[–]joshgodawful 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Why did you assume that, dad, when we've never even met?
[–]lamesenpai 672 points673 points674 points  (18 children)
Excuse me but this subreddit's rules dictate this joke ends with "Hi sorry, I'm dad."
[–]tequila13 41 points42 points43 points  (3 children)
I never saw a missed opportunity in this subreddit either.
[–]brrip 20 points21 points22 points  (2 children)
Hi, I'm a missed opportunity and I find that offensive.
[–]l3linkTree_Horep 19 points20 points21 points  (0 children)
You found my offensive? Can I have it back please?
[–]5chris100 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Hi, missed opportunity and I find that offensive, I'm dad.
[–]ZippityD 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
Almost as good as /r/DMdadjokes
[–]aDAMNPATRIOT 23 points24 points25 points  (2 children)
Actually it demands the joke end early - at the first line - with "hi getting married, I'm dad"
[–]asc0614 15 points16 points17 points  (1 child)
You got it wrong . On this one it's supposedly Hi Thinking Of Getting Married, I'm Dad.
[–]aDAMNPATRIOT 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
I did indeed
[–]RajivSen 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Your son inherited your property and expanded his wealth. Aren't you proud?
[–]OneBlueAstronaut -10 points-9 points-8 points  (5 children)
Am I the only person whose dad doesn't have a sense of humor anything like this, didn't hear of such "dad jokes" until I got on reddit, and thinks they're entirely unfunny?
[–]RexDraco 23 points24 points25 points  (4 children)
No, lots of us have mean alcoholics as dads.
[–]OneBlueAstronaut comment score below threshold-22 points-21 points-20 points  (3 children)
Did you really just call my dad a mean alcoholic cause I don't like shitty puns? I mean come on dude
[–]G2daG 12 points13 points14 points  (1 child)
Looks like you inherited your dad's sense of humor
[–]tglstan 19 points20 points21 points  (0 children)
Now you're just being oversensitive...
[–]Defendpaladin 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Last time i read that joke i fell of my dinosaure
[–]VaskodeGama 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
Say ,,sorry" again. Say ,,sorry" again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say sorry one more Goddamn time!
[–]Warthog_A-10 -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
This sounds familiar, is it from a film or something?
[–]MysticMarshmallow -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
This should be a life protip, not a joke
[–]GuyonaMoose 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
Would also work for getting Canadian citizenship
[–]Blatantly_contrary 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
No way, he argued about saying sorry. Sorry, but that's just odd - sorry is the default response to anything unexpected or confusing!
[–]imanism 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Fooking surry, eh.
[–]Schleckenmiester 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Now he's Canadian!!!
[–]AshyBoneVR4 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Repost, but still funny as hell.
[–]Miffers 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
If it helps any, just change your legal first name to "Sorry". So you can bare saying "I'm Sorry" without hurting your pride.
[–]YourSenpai_ 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Seen this jokes so many times, never gets old.
[–]amora_obscura -2 points-1 points0 points  (2 children)
Oh haha it's hilarious because women are so irrational, right? /s
[–]PlayedUOonBaja 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
Correct
[–]starsandtime 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
You didn't know that marriage magically turns women into emotionally abusive harpies who have to be catered to in all things?
[–]Bigoteroj -2 points-1 points0 points  (1 child)
Lesson number two: take your fucking pants off.
[–]Willingham007 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
No, keep the fucking-pants on if you want to do it. You take off the regular pants.
[–]x7ramjet -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Dad: "Hi thinking of getting married, I'm dad."
FTFY
[–]killerdog81 -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
You apologised without a reason , you're now my bitch
[–]Ablackguyyouracist -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
How old is this shit? See people copy pasting this to Facebook all day, don't need it copy pasted here too thinking you're original.
[–]74NK-LV -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
That bitch is ugly as fuck, you should apologize about what you've said when drunk, son. Y do you never learn?
[–]TheSlySpy1 -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
LOL
[–]jakewqj -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
My name is Sorry.
[–]FunGoblins -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Was his dad canadian?
[–]EriumKross -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
At least you got a dad. Ha.. haha... damn rough night for me.
[–]Titus_Maxum -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
This is fucking great.
[–]PYCisCPA -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
If wife wins, both win. If husband wins, both loses.
[–]Black_Punisher -3 points-2 points-1 points  (0 children)
I thought the joke was going to be either
1) He's gay, or
2) It's a daughter and dad thinks she wants to marry him
[–]SlutScience -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
Women are crazy
[–]shantil3 -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
Don't talk to me or my son ever again.
[–]Shockernator -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
I was really hoping for a "Hi Sorry I'm Dad" at the end.
[–]SienaBlaze -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
Yeah...stupid fucking joke
[–]2Bernard -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Nice, I saw this on Twitter over a week ago. Very creative and original.
[–]ChelWithMe -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Oldest joke in the book
[–]ShureYnaut -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
I would never feel the need to ask my own dad for his blessing to get married
[–]chevria0 -1 points0 points1 point  (1 child)
Why would he be asking his own dad for his blessing?
[–]bettorworse 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Money?
[–]liquid_solidus -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
"You are now ready to handle any situation at any time young padawon"
[–]thedrq -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Dad: Can you also get some milk on the way
[–]liquidnonsense -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Hi thinking of getting married, I'm dad.
[–]Bananagrams82 -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Hi Thinkingofgettingmarried, I'm Dad
[–]DirtyLukeAndTheBoys -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Ha! Women B shoppin' amirite??? XDDD
[–]BobbyCock -2 points-1 points0 points  (2 children)
Jokes like these perpetuate the belief that women are supposed to be bitches who bend over backwards for the woman. It's pathetic. Never apologize unless you're actually sorry.
[–]NehEma -2 points-1 points0 points  (1 child)
This is sad that this stereotype is a one way street. But aren't being able to round up the edges and sometimes apologising when you're not at fault required skills to make a relationship work?
[–]BobbyCock -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
How could it ever be? How could that be an honest relationship?
It only "works" when guys date entitled brats who think they're entitled to apologies for everything.
It's not a healthy relationship of you apologize for something you're not sorry for.
But the truth is most people have no idea what they're doing and are not in healthy relationships, hence posts like these.
What really scares me though is that they try to make it seem like this is how all relationships are and should be. No. Just because you're ok with unhealthy relationships, doesn't mean I need to be
[–]lottie2015 -5 points-4 points-3 points  (0 children)
Sorry, why i should say sorry? I am sorry that i can't say sorry~
[–]mankun0079 -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
You better be sorry, this joke is older than your Dad.
[–]clmurg -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
This is more like r/terriblefacebookmemes material.
[–]Isaacxxi -7 points-6 points-5 points  (0 children)
Son: Ok, Dad! I'm sorry!
Dad: Good, you should be for reposting this from last week... and the week before that... and the week before that...
[–]Tsorovar -3 points-2 points-1 points  (1 child)
This joke is wrong. There was a reason. The son apologised because he was repeatedly told to by the father.
[–]bettorworse 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
But it nails the conversation with the wife, though. You never find out why you should be sorry. A "You know why!" could be thrown in there.
[–]Fastcashbadcredit -3 points-2 points-1 points  (0 children)
Hi mummy sorry papi.
[–]cleanslater -3 points-2 points-1 points  (0 children)
Shit joke with no actual punchline.
[–]crunch816 -7 points-6 points-5 points  (4 children)
Is there a culture where the son needs a blessing from his own father?
[–]BeraldGevins 0 points1 point2 points  (3 children)
In a way. A lot of people like their parents to approve of their fiancé, and some consider it a deal breaker if the parents don't approve
[–]crunch816 -3 points-2 points-1 points  (2 children)
I mean if you have to ask if your parents approve you should probably take some time to get to know your parents a little better.
[–]GiantDwarf01 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
Sometimes while you're in a relationship you don't realize some of the effect it has on you. It doesn't hurt to get the opinion of someone else who knows you and wants the best for you, and for most people that's their parents.
[–]BeraldGevins -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
Agreed, but some people are like that.
[–][deleted]  (1 child)
[deleted]
    [–]Robjuan -8 points-7 points-6 points  (0 children)
    straight people are fucked up

    More from r/Jokes

    4897
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    Comments, continued...

    [–]VanFailin 373 points374 points375 points  (18 children)
    The Dad is teaching the Son how to have an unhealthy relationship because misery loves company.
    [–]ClapAlongChorus 125 points126 points127 points  (11 children)
    Hmmmm something is fishy about this bot.... Somethings different...
    [–]Hypothesis_Null 71 points72 points73 points  (7 children)
    He's a phony!
    [–]onlysane1 47 points48 points49 points  (0 children)
    LOOK EVERYBODY, HE'S A BIG FAT PHONY!
    [–]advanc3r 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
    Nobody wants your autograph!
    [–]MrCelroy 1 point2 points3 points  (3 children)
    Remove that h
    [–]Hypothesis_Null 7 points8 points9 points  (2 children)
    e's a phony!
    [–]MrCelroy 4 points5 points6 points  (1 child)
    I'll never trust e again
    [–]Pyrrhic_Song 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
    It's up to you to ask what's in it.
    [–]luizmanzato -1 points0 points1 point  (2 children)
    Is it... This guy!?
    [–]Morocco_Bama 1 point2 points3 points  (1 child)
    ARRRRRRRE YOU HUNGRY!
    [–]luizmanzato 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    YOU LOOK TO BE A BIT HUNGRY
    [–]Ymir_from_Saturn 6 points7 points8 points  (2 children)
    Apologizing for nothing simply because you don't want to talk out the issue does seem to indicate an unhealthy relationship. The key to a healthy relationship is communication.
    [–]zando95 -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
    Yeah
    [–]Monsterpiece42 -3 points-2 points-1 points  (0 children)
    This guy clearly isn't married.
    [–]CommieStoner 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    KATHY BATES
    [–]MetallicIL -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
    My God.
    [–]bob138235 175 points176 points177 points  (17 children)
    Maybe "Your training is complete. You're ready to get married" might make the end flow better. Good joke. 5/7 with beans.
    [–]herservingsize 48 points49 points50 points  (7 children)
    Yea. Otherwise it sounds slightly incestuous
    [–]americanrabbit 6 points7 points8 points  (0 children)
    He was a good boy
    [–]ProgrammingPants 1 point2 points3 points  (5 children)
    Tbh, incest between a father and son isn't that big of a deal because it's not like they can have kids or anything. If two people love each other then I honestly don't see what the big deal is. It isn't your life
    [–]shiteymate 20 points21 points22 points  (0 children)
    Found the Game of Thrones character
    [–]HanSoloBolo 5 points6 points7 points  (3 children)
    So if a guy wears a condom, he can fuck his own sister and it's cool?
    [–]zando95 8 points9 points10 points  (0 children)
    Well, it is the current year...
    [–]KryptonianNerd 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    No because condoms aren't 100% effective
    [–]mirocj 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    don't wear it
    if you two love each other there's not a need for it
    [–]QuasarKid 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
    Or if it was the father of the bride
    [–]Darkwolfie117 12 points13 points14 points  (5 children)
    But it's 6/7 with rice
    [–]Lady_badcrumble 6 points7 points8 points  (2 children)
    "Thank you for your suggestion."
    [–]thegaming101sega 14 points15 points16 points  (1 child)
    All Rice Reserved ©2016.
    [–]Pyrrhic_Song 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    Oh shit I think I hear Monsanto-colored helichopters outside your house windows!
    [–]Waterknight94 -2 points-1 points0 points  (1 child)
    What do you have against rice? I thought rice made everything better not worse.
    [–]Pyrrhic_Song 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    hate the rice, not the ...damnit I had this..
    [–]squrr1 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    5/7, a perfect joke indeed.
    [–]Coolaccount2 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    The explaining the joke ("you apologized without a reason") at the end ruined it.
    [–]can_dry 44 points45 points46 points  (6 children)
    Fun fact: this is also the new citizens ceremony in Canada.
    [–]ketchy_shuby 21 points22 points23 points  (5 children)
    Except they say "Sorey."
    [–]Sacrosaint 8 points9 points10 points  (4 children)
    I prefer to think Americans say "sawry"
    [–]TheLadyBunBun 4 points5 points6 points  (2 children)
    Nah, we say "sari"
    [–]SeanTheTranslator -4 points-3 points-2 points  (0 children)
    Ah, the old Reddit... oh, who cares.
    [–]UntamedNyasha 17 points18 points19 points  (1 child)
    2 months later... Yea dad about that blessing ,could you take it back
    [–]fatstupidbaby 21 points22 points23 points  (18 children)
    Haha this is just like my wife sometimes i just want to fucking kill her lol
    [–]Skea_and_Tittles 28 points29 points30 points  (0 children)
    Commenting because 3 months later this might be on the news and the headlines will be "EARLY WARNING SIGNS MISSED???"
    [–]elvisnake 22 points23 points24 points  (11 children)
    I never get to the point of wanting to kill my wife, but I certainly sympathize. It gets frustrating.
    I fuck up? Apologize for what I did.
    She fucks up? Apologize for being upset that she fucked up.
    [–]oglowkey[🍰] 8 points9 points10 points  (3 children)
    What if you don't apologize and let her get angry. What's the worst that could happen?
    [–]EtoileDuSoir 11 points12 points13 points  (0 children)
    You don't want to go there
    [–]Monsterpiece42 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
    Usually they go for slander to your or their families at that point in my experience.
    [–]mattgoldsmith 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    You guys fuck alot and have passion
    [–]LemonBomb 6 points7 points8 points  (6 children)
    This doesn't seem healthy or normal. Why do people put up with this?
    [–]TooExpensif 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    The illusion of regular sex.
    [–]mattgoldsmith 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
    They're ugly and don't have options? But seriously I know like 1 couple out of like 15 in a healthy relationship where nonsense like this doesn't happen. I could have poor sampling, but fuck people come on....
    [–]LemonBomb 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Hopefully you just got some bad examples. That sounds like a terrible way to live. Making me feel so good about my relationship though.
    [–]IDespiseTheLetterG 0 points1 point2 points  (2 children)
    So they can not die alone, because it is completely normal. Y'all are too sensitive.
    [–]starsandtime 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Having one member of a relationship that takes no accountability, and expects the other to always cater to their whims, is not 'normal'. That's coming from a woman, by the way.
    DO NOT put up with this sort of bullshit. It will only get worse, and it will make you miserable. There are plenty of women who are responsible, reasonable adults who will not expect you to kiss their ass and who can think of more than just themselves. This kind of this is so common because no one challenges it.
    [–]LemonBomb 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    It's crazy to me that so many people think their choices are being alone or being with someone who is completely unreasonable. Maybe this is just the sort of Reddit mentality that most women are crazy and unreasonable. Lovely.
    [–]JonasBrosSuck 9 points10 points11 points  (0 children)
    Haha this is just like my wife sometimes i just want to fucking kill her lol
    so casual... 25 signs you might be a serial killer.... number 8 will shock you!
    [–]Hammer_Jackson 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Totally worth a comment...
    [–]cigerect 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Women, am I right? I fucking hate them
    [–]docboy2u [score hidden]  (0 children)
    Does the "lol" make the comment alright? Because I still think this is wildly inappropriate.
    [–]lakerswiz 52 points53 points54 points  (3 children)
    who the fuck upvotes this shit
    [–]Hammer_Jackson 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
    This subreddit is getting pretty bad..
    [–]Pyrrhic_Song 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
    12 people so far, including me.
    [–]kmacdowell 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    I've dated girls exactly like this, but just as often I'll get ones where literally every single time I say I'm sorry I get "don't be sorry, it's not your fault." Like bitch I'm expressing sympathy.
    And if that's not bad enough, just as often I'll get ones who are in between those two extremes, as most of humanity is.
    [–]MultiTwentyOne 18 points19 points20 points  (3 children)
    The jokes in this sub are brutal lately.
    [–]tequila13 7 points8 points9 points  (2 children)
    This is the oldest joke in the book.
    [–]Pyrrhic_Song 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Which joke, I'm being serious...
    The comment you're replying to, or OP?
    [–]1swiftfox1 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
    As a Canadian we are naturally born prepared to say sorry for absolutely everything including holding the door for others... gotta apologize for that never know who I offended.
    [–]rehpotsirhc123 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
    Ah that's where my relationships always go to shit!
    [–]gammalbjorn 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
    RemindMe! 40 years
    [–]gweilo8888 3 points4 points5 points  (1 child)
    Can confirm. Didn't say sorry for no reason, am now single.
    [–]Warthog_A-10 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Probably better off without that drama.
    [–]widermind 4 points5 points6 points  (3 children)
    i dont get it
    [–]Drunk_Juggernaut 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
    You either haven't had a long-term relationship with a woman, or you've had healthy relationships.
    [–]KristinnK 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
    Women often get upset with us for reasons we don't understand. In these situations it's often best just to apologize and not argue back.
    [–]mattgoldsmith 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    No its not. You can treat women like adults
    [–]From_My_Brain 19 points20 points21 points  (0 children)
    DAE le women are unreasonable?
    [–]squrr1 3 points4 points5 points  (2 children)
    I'm a man, but I can change, if I have too, I guess.
    [–]docontheweb 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Love Red Green! :)
    [–]Derpins32 -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
    Hi a man! I'm Dad!
    [–]DigitaLegend 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    So I guess there was a reason.
    [–]Zeal514 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    The Mrs wants to punch me.
    [–]RicardinhoBrasil 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    Lol, this happens sometimes
    [–]woofenburger 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    This guy "gets it"!
    [–]Mastaking 1 point2 points3 points  (1 child)
    Was this extremely predictable or is it just that I am married?
    [–]Bobcat7 -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
    Yes.
    [–]tots4scott 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)

    giveinandyouwin

    [–]LonelyChris25 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    Haha I get it
    [–]FiveMinFreedom 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    Your first time seeing a repost on a sub is always the worst one.
    [–]jenstewboyd 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    "But why did you make me do that?"
    "Oh, I think you know why."
    [–]theCrono 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    Famous last words: Sorry for what? -Ekop
    [–]makzter 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    Reading from bottom to top works too.
    [–]randomdude4321 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    I can't be the only person who read "your training is complete" in a Palpatine voice
    [–]Escargooofy 3 points4 points5 points  (1 child)
    When did Reddit turn into e-mail forwards from my grandpa?
    [–]Pyrrhic_Song -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
    When the robots let it.
    Skynet doesn't want to run over your skulls. It wants to fill them with garbage.
    [–]Finewithme2 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
    You don't get it. It's not a joke. If you're smart you'll just smile to yourself and think of your Dad whenever it happens.
    [–]Bananarevolution 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
    survival of the fittest...of course we are wrong as women but let us win in the heat and the good ones here in the world will apologize later for our mistakes....rrrr
    errrrrr oops if we are wrong...not meaning that as women we are wrong....fuck I can't talk today
    I'm sorry this was badly worded
    [–]Sir_Spaniard 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
    "Okay dad, I'm sorry!" "Hiya there sorry, my name is dad!" "You must now begin your training as a father... sorry"
    [–]StingerP9T 4 points5 points6 points  (1 child)
    I have seen this on facebook so many times.
    [–]Pyrrhic_Song -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
    I have seen this comment reply so many times.
    [–]666kat666 2 points3 points4 points  (2 children)
    More like cuck training
    [–]Harleyquincey 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Not like, with a comment such as this, you could ever know for real eh? :)
    [–]bettorworse -3 points-2 points-1 points  (0 children)
    Found the Trumpkin.
    [–]Hotspur000 2 points3 points4 points  (3 children)
    This is exactly marriage.
    If you can't do this, don't get married.
    [–]LemonBomb 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
    Lol no. This is not a healthy relationship and not normal. It's Reddit jerking itself off about how women are terrible.
    [–]starsandtime 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
    'If you can't deal with your wife being an unreasonable, petty bitch who never takes responsibility for her actions and blames you for everything, don't get married.'
    For fucks sake, guys. THIS IS NOT OKAY. If you meet a woman who does this, leave- run, do not walk to the exit. This is what we in the same world called 'emotional abuse' which, believe it or not, men can actually experience.
    [–]Hotspur000 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Add kids and financial dependency into the mix and then tell me how easy it is to 'run'.
    [–]OU812A 2 points3 points4 points  (1 child)
    "Give me half of your shit"
    "But why?"
    "Because fuck you and my lawyer"
    [–]Pyrrhic_Song 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    "The lawyer too???? Who didn't you sleep with, Tina?"
    [–]GonzoGodzilla 1 point2 points3 points  (1 child)
    Is the joke that marriage is unreasonable?
    [–]khast 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    Yes Ma'am, I won't let it happen again...er' I mean sorry. Damn, I'm not sure whether I'm coming or I am going it's been so long...
    [–]Castawayyy 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Hay, yous best be sawry (Boston Accent)
    [–]dribs_kvd 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Should I laugh or should I cry ?
    [–]gogaxxx 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Shit, this is sad.
    [–]luxendary 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Repost
    [–]TheBullet3D 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Say "sorry" Sorry I've been working for years, and now you telling me "sorry". - Trevor Phillips
    [–]GPrime85 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    [chuckle] Ah, Canada.
    [–]kennewickman 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Too real
    [–]audi92635 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Fucking lame I swear just seen this reposted
    [–]audi92635 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Fucking lame I swear just seen this reposted
    [–]Nothgrin 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Now try doing this when you're upset, hurt and very sad
    Bad training :)
    [–]Haliax77 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    I feel like i've already heard this joke like a thousand times. Still find it hilarious
    [–]WeRtheBork 0 points1 point2 points  (2 children)
    karma for reposted jokes!
    [–]michaelxuzhi 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    why a man needs to say sorry for no reason,people know that everything has its reason or necessity to be in the world.
    [–]ex_jw1 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    This is not a joke. This is a LPT.
    [–]PlopHopTop 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Old but true
    [–]ashwhenn 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    This is why there are divorces.
    [–]cat0032 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Congratulations, you put a pre-internet dad joke at the top of the Reddit start page.
    [–]x3volv3x 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    Just dont let r/MensRights find this
    [–]Skreedles [score hidden]  (0 children)
    Why would the son be asking his dad for his blessing?
    [–]AlphaOwn 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
    What the fuck is this?! This has reaks of Facebook so bad i'm surprised there's no random minion and "COMMENT LIKE AND SHARE TO SAVE LIL TIMMY!? LOL OMG :) :( :* ;)".
    [–]logicalhistory 1 point2 points3 points  (2 children)
    manhood gone. Only BETA males apologize without a reason. Those guys seem to get cheated.
    [–]UrbanMilk -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
    Hi, 'Thinking Of Getting Married', I'm dad.
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