TL/DR: this girl from school sent me some screenshots on Instagram of a chat between her and one of my closest friends, and it ruined me and that friends friendship.

Hi. I need advice.

I have this friend. And we met last year. We were very close.

-how we met-

I'm in the Mormon church, and in the Mormon Church you pay tithing. You pay 10 percent of your income to the church so they can build churches and donate and things Like that. And we believe that after you pay that 10 percent, than you will get a blessing. Something that could make something a little happier or better. That kind of stuff. And I remember, the day after I paid my very first tithing, was the day I met him.

It was the 2nd month of school and I was in honors math. I was struggling very bad. And my study hall teacher made me sit with him because he was in the same math class and he could help me.

(He hated me for a good month and a half because I kept bothering him with math. Haha)

And that's how we became friends.

-the drama-

There was a girl who was also friends with him. And she direct messaged me on Instagram some pictures of there chat.

She asked "do you like Courtney as a friend" He replies, "Not really."

It broke my heart. I was so sad. I felt useless.

And she also asked, "If she asked you out would you say yes?" He replies, "No, no offense, I like someone else"

Which I then felt unlikeable. (I would like to say I do not have any romantic feelings toward him. An admin on another sub deleted my post because I "clearly have romantic feelings for him" so ya.

And then the girl TOLD him she sent the DMS to me. (So I assume)

And the next day, he came up to me telling me, that the second he sent it he regret it. And that he was sorry.

I wasn't mad, but I was disappointed. And felt insecure.

I looked at him in the eye and sternly said "I'm not mad at you, I don't want to talk to you right now."

You could tell he felt guilty about the whole situation.

And I did accept his apologies, but I never told him that. I never told him I accepted them. And I think he felt guilty for a long time (maybe still does). And then it became VERY awkward. I was afraid to wave at him in the hall and wave at him at assemblies. But we still talked in study hall. We never talked about the texting situation in study hall because we had another friend that we didn't want to find out about it.

-now-

It has been a whole summer since we have talked.

And I see him at school. Every day. And I can't help but feel guilty.

We have had 1 conversation, and that's when I told him I was getting a schedule change. (I had classes with him but after the schedule change I didn't) and he seemed fine. And we both laughed and smiled. And he did this weird thing with his eyebrows. But that only lasted a minute because then my mom called me and I had to leave.

We had 1 one minute conversation the whole school year.

How did this happen? And I want to go up to him and talk. Talk like we still know what's happening in each others lives. As if drama never happened.

But to think of it, the texting thing wasn't even that big of a deal, compared to things other friends have done to me. But how come some little thing like that affect our entire friendship? Maybe it doesn't, maybe there is just ice we need to break?

I have have anxiety over this.

What if he hates you? What if he never was your friend? What if he hated you the whole time?

And I'm so nervous to talk to him.

What do I do now? Do I just let him go? Do I just be happy and let god do the rest? Do I go up to him and ask to not be awkward anymore?

Help me, I miss my best friend.

Part of me wants to send him the link to this reddit. But I don't know if that would be awkward. Or rude.

So GRV if your reading this because you have reddit, or I decide to send this to you, I miss being around you. And I care about you, and I wish you the best.

Gosh, I'm in tears.

Okay bye

EDIT: i talked to him again. So, he comes out of lunch lessons while all the kids in the cafeteria throw away there trash. (Does that make sense?) Anyway, right as I sit down from throwing away my trash he comes back from lunch lessons. He didn't have anywhere to sit......and the empty spot was next to me. He looked very happy. And he was smiling! He doesn't smile-like ever. That's just the way he is. He asked if anyone was sitting next to me and I said no. Then he asks if he can sit there, and of course I say yes. We talked for about 4-5 minutes before we were released to 5th period, we talked about band, and an upcoming field trip. And I think he thought I was crazy, because I was smiling really big the whole time. But he was smiling too. So, I think him doing that has broken a lot of ice.

I know this sounds pathetic, but its not hard to wave and say hello to him any more.

I can successfully wave and say hello to my best friend

Maybe I shouldn't call him my best friend, because we kind of don't know what's going on with each other any more. But I'm going to call him that anyway, because I love him like one.

K bye.

I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO ADD PICTURES TO MY TEXT SO IF SOMEONE COULD COMMENT HOW TO ADD TEXT AND WRITE THAT WOULD BE HELPFUL. (: