Okay so I should probably elaborate here. My boyfriend and I have been officially together for over a year and a half now and I don't think we could be more in love. We both come from similar backgrounds growing up, but in the context of romantic relationships, it's quite different. I've had a string of bad relationships in the past that I deeply regret, while he has had very few (Like, 2). Out of everyone I've ever dated he's by far the most amazing man I've ever been with and I already want to spend the rest of my life with him.

So onto the issue... When we first began dating and getting to know each other better, the topic of our sexual pasts got brought up. I wasn't very comfortable getting too much into that, and did my best to skirt the discussion away from specifics (Although I did find out his number is 4 previous partners, while mine is... much higher you could say...), making sure to NOT LIE, if that makes any sense. Whew, crisis averted right?

Since then my boyfriend and I have had a very healthy sex life, though I had to kind of "teach" him a bit in the beginning, but I enjoy sex with him more than anyone else I've ever been with before. He doesn't need to be the biggest, or the roughest or anything like that, he's perfect the way he is. He was VERY vanilla when we first met, he was grossed out by the idea of giving oral sex and didn't really care about receiving it (If anything, he was happier not even getting it since it meant he could "skip" that step and go right to sex). I tried to be accommodating, but he didn't really care for fingering either! I finally told him after a couple of months that foreplay, oral sex especially, is a big deal for me and that I could not continue to have a regular sex life without it. I felt kind of bad at the time, and he definitely was not exactly thrilled, but we talked it out and soon it became a regular part of our sex life. Everyone wins! Or so I thought.

Since then, my boyfriend has come along way and is much more sexually adventurous. There have been some things he's expressed a strong interest in trying with me but I've told him I've never tried them and have no intention to. I know, I'm a fucking hypocrite. He seemed fine with that and life proceeded on. Until about 2 months ago when we were drinking with some friends and the topic of sexual histories came up. My friends were all laughing and joking and one of them asked me "So honestly name, how bad does it hurt having a dick up your ass? Is there certain size preference in that regard? I always wondered how big of a dick ex-fling had"

I think the look on my face and my boyfriend's made her realize she fucked up because she tried to play it off (Poorly) as a joke and my boyfriend and I just responded with uneasy laughter. He was quiet on the drive home but didn't bring it up so I was hoping maybe he genuinely thought it was a joke, but the next day he confronted me about it.

To his credit, he wasn't mean, he wasn't rude, he didn't raise his voice or anything, he just very calmly asked if I had ever tried anal sex before and if so, with how many people? Unfortunately, unlike the beginning of our relationship he was asking my questions directly, the floodgates of my past were opening, and I knew I couldn't lie to him now that I was directly being confronted.

So basically he founds out my previous partner count, what things I have done with other guys that I haven't/wouldn't do with him and with how many of them that occurred. Throughout the conversation I reminded him of how much I loved him and how special he was to me, more than any of them, but he just simply said something to the effect of "Yeah, so special you did things with them you flat out rejected for me...". Later he went for a drive and to grab something to eat and didn't come back home until late that night.

He headed to bed but I wanted to talk to him about the day as I had been sitting at home all day wracked with guilt and fear of him breaking up with me and he said he wasn't mad. I never lied, I seemed to be genuinely honest about everything he asked, and he said it would be pretty douchey of him to try to pressure or guilt me into doing things I'm not comfortable doing anymore (Which is true, some of the things in my past I did because I was insecure and I've grown well past that stage, or some because I simply do not enjoy them anymore and I had explained that to him earlier in the day when it all first got brought up)

I tried to initiate sex that night after we talked but he was tired and said he just wanted to sleep. I was a little hurt but understood and let him fall asleep.

The next evening I tried to initiate again and he seemed to be going for it. When we got our clothes off and we moved towards the bed, I began to lay back and put my legs up like I usually did when he was going down on me, normal routine. Except this time he didn't. He just kind of stared at my vagina and said he didn't feel comfortable with it.

I was a mix of indignant, annoyed and shocked. He went on to say that he had never found the idea of giving oral sex appealing, he didn't even feel that comfortable with it in the first place but felt he should give it a shot because he was strongly developing feelings at the time and continued with it as he fell in love with me. I honestly thought he had just grown to really enjoy it with the way he would get into it, but apparently that was not the case. He said that I had a mature mindset which is one of the things he found so attractive about me and that because of that, I probably understand exactly where he's coming from when he chooses not to do that anymore. Sort of the same with fingering, though he said he doesn't mind that as much but would prefer to decrease the frequency.

I'm crushed. I feel awful and not just because one of my favorite aspects of sex is now apparently out of the question. I feel like an idiot and a hypocrite. One side of me is indignant that he hid his lack of enjoyment for giving oral sex from me this whole time, but then the other half knows that I had my entire sexual past from him. One side of me is upset that he doesn't want anything to with oral sex, the other side realizes that he's had more requests rejected by me than this, so I should suck it up and compromise.

I absolutely won't break up with him over this, I still love this man from the fiber of my being, and to keep him and us happy the trade off is worth it, but is there anything I can do for? Should we both just somewhat-begrudgingly compromise and do things for each other neither of us likes but the partner wants? Should I hope maybe he doesn't like them and won't want to do them anymore? The problem is there are some things I absolutely cannot compromise on and he would probably seeing it as an imbalance and both of us remain unhappy, sexually speaking.

I'm sorry I'm a jumbled mess and parts of this, especially the end seem incoherent, but I'm seriously a wreck right now. Please help.

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tl;dr: Did things with other guys in the past that I wouldn't do with my boyfriend, he found out and now doesn't want to do things in sex that I enjoy that he apparently doesn't.