Hey. I recently broke up with my boyfriend who reads red pill blogs for dating advice. Everyone is an individual and not every guy will be the same, but this is my experience with how TRP affected my relationship and ultimately led to its end.

When we first began dating he was sweet and charming and there were very few signs that he would turn out to be like this (that's how most of these stories go) but in hindsight there were a few things he said that would've been a giveaway had I been aware of this earlier, such as the use of TRP vocabulary and criticizing western women for being "unloving". I'm not from the west, so I thought he was just frustrated with past relationships or something, and thought nothing of it.

A few months into our relationship a pattern started becoming more apparent: he would only be affectionate with me after I did something nice for him, such as giving him gifts, doing his chores, oral sex, etc. At any other time, he would act cold and aloof and treat me like a stranger, even though I always treated him respectfully. Essentially he was "rewarding" favors and punishing everything else in an attempt to manipulate me into submission, even though the cold treatment only made me feel resentful, not motivated to get back under his good graces.

In the bedroom, initially he would make sure it was an enjoyable experience for me too but eventually he started neglecting my needs entirely, to the point of disrespecting my boundaries. I put his needs above my own throughout the relationship but when I finally asked him, VERY politely, to stop doing something that was making me uncomfortable, he got all passive aggressive and rolled to the side.

One day when I was on his laptop, I noticed one of the "frequently visited" websites on google chrome (I didn't even check his history. I never, ever do that. Pinky swear.) was a particular manosphere website and I made a mental note to google it when I was alone, and that led me to the whole "women are children and must be treated accordingly" red pill doctrine.

I read dozens of threads and suddenly the way he was treating me made much more sense. It dawned on me that he wasn't doing these things despite the fact that they were hurting me, but BECAUSE they were hurting me and he thought he needed to hurt me to keep me around.

I tried to talk to him, not mentioning the RP but letting him know that the fact that he treated me coldly 90% of the time now and stopped respecting my needs and opinions was hurting our relationship. He didn't apologize, just said he was sad that I thought that of him.

About a month went by, things only got worse, he had become even more withdrawn, he never wanted to spend time with me, he even created a catfish profile to like his FB pics (a beautiful model with professional swimsuit photos but only 5 friends, nothing posted, no likes on her pics) to make me jealous. He would also criticize me on my choices in clothing and makeup, which he had always seemed to like. One time I was very upset upon learning that a friend of my parents' had passed away and he just watched TV quietly as I cried, not making the slightest effort to comfort me. Another time I expressed concern about the political situation in my home country, thinking it may spark an interesting conversation about international politics, but no, all he said was that "I just want something to worry about".

So I broke up with him. I told him I didn't like the way he treated me and that I was done. At first he just calmly accepted it, but once I got home he texted me saying I should've talked about it first. (I tried?!)

After a very vague and confusing text conversation, he said he "understood why I was feeling this way" but that "he wasn't going to force me to stay".

So we stopped talking. Surprisingly, I felt fine. It's been two weeks, I still get bouts of anger and frustration for not standing my ground earlier when he did those hurtful things, but I'm certainly not tempted to go back. Over the past few days he's been texting me as if we were buddies, hinting that he's "free to hang out" or something. I suspect this is a red pill tactic to win me over again or something so it's probably not even worth replying to. What's more, if he's deep in this then he doesn't believe that I dumped him because of his negligent behavior, but rather because he wasn't alpha enough and now I must be screwing my newest alpha bad boy. Obviously not true, I had zero intentions of hooking up with somebody else and, as of now, that hasn't changed.

There are plenty of little things that I didn't include, both examples of how he was often inconsiderate towards me and sweet things he said and did, particularly in the beginning of our relationship, that made me hopeful that things would get better.

I'm glad that I left, but I would greatly appreciate advice on how to let go of resentment because I don't want one bad experience to negatively influence the way I go about dating and relationships.

And if you are a woman and you are in a relationship like this, I hope this brings some clarity. He doesn't listen to you because he thinks your words are unreliable and that you can't be reasoned with. You have to specifically let him know that you are introspective enough to know what you like and don't like and that treating you poorly doesn't make you want him more, even though he may assume that this is a "shit test". But if he can't suspend his TRP indoctrination for a minute and use reason and common sense in his approach to the dynamics of your relationship, you can leave.

And if you subscribe to TRP thinking, I don't blame you for reaching this point and being disenchanted with women, with relationships and with society as a whole. But I plead that you treat each woman as a complex individual and not assume that every woman likes X or that every woman responds the same way to Y. And that if your girlfriend/wife tells you something you're doing is upsetting or hurting her, it's almost certainly a real concern that will weaken your relationship if not acknowledged and worked on, not a test to see how dominant and assertive you are.

That's it. I hope this was a little bit helpful to someone out there!