Although the statute of limitations has passed, I will change the names to protect the innocent.

In my younger days there was a moment of righteous revenge that stood out more than all the others. There were 3 of us. Myself, the oldest, and two younger sisters, Stephanie and Olivia. We were the irish triplets of your average midwestern german-irish catholic family with no more than 13 months separating each child.

My youngest sister Olivia had caught the eye of a douchebag womanizer in our high school. I knew the guy from wrestling, and was my wrestling partner some of the year. Let's call him steve. Steve would fuck anything that moved. I was never sure how he accomplished to do this, as to put it nicely, he looked like dustin diamond with blonde hair (Screech from saved by the bell for the uninitiated.) After wrestling one day, he asked me for a ride home, which was on my way. He started by making the average small talk, and finally got right around to what he wanted to speak about... Olivia. I told him that I appreciated him asking, but didn't feel comfortable with him dating her knowing his past. I told him not to let me catch him around her unless he wanted his ass kicked, friend or not. He agreed reluctantly.

Fast forward until the end of the school year. Our mom is diagnosed with late stage breast cancer. By that time there was nothing that could be done, and we watched her die slowly over that summer.I went to school about 2 hours away and was barely able to make it home before she passed. We were all heartbroken as hell, and for lack of a better term... lost in grief. The week before thanksgiving I run into a mutual wrestling friend whom I graduated with named mark. Turns out steve was bragging about fucking Olivia around our school. To add insult to injury, he dumped her right after taking her virginity to date the school cumdumpster named charity. (We assumed she got her name because she gave it up so much...)

I came home from school for thanksgiving. Olivia was going to spending the night with her friend annie that saturday and asked if I could take her there. On the way to annie's I took my sister out for lunch and we talked, as we'd always been close. She broke down and told me the story about how steve comforted her when she needed it most but then fucked and dumped her, which validated mark's story. Needless to say I wasn't too happy.

me: I'm gonna get that bastard.

O: It's not worth it.. he's just an asshole

me: Grr...

O: Seriously bro, putting in a tampon hurts more than that guy, and he has to live with that. I've already told the other girls at school about him... Just let it go.

As we're arriving at annie's I realize that steve lives right by annie. Olivia is cursing at steve's car as we drive by, and I have what alcoholics refer to as a "moment of clarity". I'm pretty sure that steve isn't working today which is where I hatch my plan. I ask annie to use the house phone (it's the mid 90's.) I call our middle sister Stephanie up at the local Hills' store where her and Steve are both employed to make sure he's not there.

Me: Hey sis.. who's the manager on duty today?

S: Barb. What's going on?

Me: Is steve working today?

S: Nope.. What's up?

Me: Is he working tonight?

S: No, he worked this morning early and got off 2 hours ago... why do you want to know when steve is working?

Me: Don't ask questions you don't want answers to... See you at home. <<Click>>

This store was the "Club Med" of this area of our metropolis. Every other job was shitty, or not hiring teenagers. With a car note and a slutty girlfriend to tend to, this was his only way to make money. I wait about 15 minutes and call up the store. I'm able to mimic his voice pretty well, and I don't need an oscar worthy performance, just enough to fuck with his life.

me: Hi! This is steve... yeah, I need to call off for tomorrow. Can I talk to barb? front desk: Sure! I'll go get her for you. <<gets put on hold>> Barb: Hi! This is barb, what's going on steve? Why do you need to call off for tomorrow? me: Because, Fuck you bitch, I quit! <<Click>>

Later that evening we talk to Stephanie and explain what happened. She hated steve too and was ready to watch him get his. Sunday rolls around and Steph is at the store earlier than steve to watch the fireworks.

Steve comes into the store

Random co-worker 1: Dude.. why did you quit?

Random co-worker 2: Why did you cuss out barb man? She's like the most awesome manager ever?

Steve: What the fuck are you talking about? (as he has no idea what the hell has happened)

This goes on for a few minutes of everyone berating him. He goes to clock in and his keycard doesn't work...

Barb confronts him as she finds out he's in the store.

B: Steve - that wasn't very nice of you to do that.

S: I don't know what the Fuck you're talking about...

B: Well.. Even if this is the busiest weekend of the year, you were a really sub-par employee. This stunt just gives us reason to terminate your employment. Steve pleads his innocence until they bring security guards to escort him out of the store.

Stephanie still swears to this day watching him walk out of the store from her register with his tail tucked firmly between his legs was one of the funniest things she's ever witnessed, and it took everything she had to not piss her pants laughing.

The slut broke up with him because he couldn't buy her what she wanted for christmas. Parents took away the car because he could no longer pay his insurance, and our wrestling coach just happened to hear about his antics as well, and effectively kicked him off the wrestling team for the remainder of his senior year.

TLDR: Take my sister's virginity and spread it all over high school, you're going to lose your job, car, and girlfriend and spot on the wrestling team in a most humiliating way.