You know the post-cum masturbation shame that's sometimes discussed in general Reddit? I feel something like that while watching porn and masturbating, only time I don't think about anything is when I'm actually cumming.

It's so strange being sexually attracted to women when I plain dislike them mentally, or romantically. Maybe this is also how some people with strange fetish feels, like maybe people who are sexually attracted to latex but mentally understands it's just fucking weird.

I cannot put all the blame on women. Young women are simply molded by our current culture and society norms. Things that are considered shameful beyond salvage, like being a single mother with multiple children by different fathers, are being celebrated and rewarded. It is the current government and cultural norms that are producing these unattractive women. I cannot do anything but sigh for now, maybe I'll move in the future.