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CULTUREStalling For Time (therationalmale.com)

Camille11325 が 投稿

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トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]Irisandoleander 8ポイント9ポイント  (8子コメント)

I think the general disregard for nature and biology is one of my biggest pet peeves with feminism.

We, as women, are pushed into college and then with all this debt we can't "afford" to have kids.... 10 years when we are finally 38 and debt free we struggle to get pregnant.

We are screwing the next generation so we can screw around.

[–]littleeggwyfEarly 30s, Married, 8 years total 7ポイント8ポイント  (6子コメント)

We're also screwing ourselves! Having kids is harder to recover from the older you are. We're inflicting more difficult birth and births requiring more intervention on ourselves, and having a harder time running around after the children as well.

The NHS warns quite strongly about it, the article has links to newspaper stories on not leaving pregnancy too late, and not just for fertility.

[–]Kittenkajira 3ポイント4ポイント  (5子コメント)

Yes! I've learned recently that having children when older isn't as dangerous if you've had prior children. So you can pop out kids from say 18-38 and be fine, but you're in bad shape if you wait until 38 for the first.

[–]littleeggwyfEarly 30s, Married, 8 years total 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

I would love a link if you happen to have one, that's something I've heard but would like to read up a bit.

I was by far the youngest woman in my prenatal classes and I was 28, people are just leaving it way too late now.

[–]Kittenkajira 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is a very long read, but worth it.

[–]littleeggwyfEarly 30s, Married, 8 years total 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thankyou!

[–]whistling_dixie 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Wow, are you in the US or somewhere else in the world? That's really astonishing to me. I get that feminism has pushed people to start having kids much later, but even then, I still haven't run across too many women who have waited so long to start.

And just as a semi-irrelevant aside, my aunt is one of those women who started at an appropriate age and had children up through advanced age. She turned 56 this year; her oldest is 32 and her youngest is 16 out of 7 children. I believe she would have had more had menopause not kicked in. All 7 girls turned out healthy and with the most wicked sense of humor, I really feel they need their own comedy show.

[–]littleeggwyfEarly 30s, Married, 8 years total 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm in England, and the prenatal classes nearest us were held in quite a wealthy area, so there was also that aspect in play, I think it's considered normal to leave it later (mid 30s) for higher paid career women these days.

I wasn't happy to leave starting a family later, apart from anything, it can mean that grandparents are too old to play much with children, and I was acutely aware that my younger sister had just got pregnant, so i was keen to have kids of a similar age. It worked out nice, my daughter has 3 cousins, all within a year of each other :)

[–]Camille11325[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

We are screwing the next generation so we can screw around.

Such a good phrase and so true! Sadly feminists don't seem to be considering the future or people outside of themselves. You're so right about the disregard for biology I'm worried about how far they'll take things.

[–]blushinglillyMarried 5 ys, Early 30s 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

One of the lines of thinking brought out in this article really bugs me is the complaint frequently made in feminist leaning articles that men in their 20s and 30s don't want to settle down, so therefore single women in their 20s and 30s are doomed to be single for ever.

First of all lots of the men I knew in my 20s, married in their 20s. They weren't bums either, they were university educated employed men. I don't live in some weird nether world time warp, I live in a pretty modern and normal place. This is normal.

Secondly if you want a marriage minded man why not restrict your dating pool to men who are over 30 and in that mindset? I did that and when I was dating I saw hundreds of profiles of marriage minded men over 30, perfectly nice and suitable men. They are out there in huge numbers.

And finally don't wait for a man to be over 40 for him to want to marry you. In my view if he doesn't want to marry before he's 40, he's unlikely to want to marry after he's 40.

I have/had very low SMV and I still managed to meet more then one man who was interested in marriage and interested in me. Marriage in your 20s or 30s is achievable even if you are pretty ugly like me.

I know this wasn't the main reason you posted this, but it was just something that stuck out that really bugged me because it's just not true or fair in my opinion.

[–]Irisandoleander 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

One problem is definitely women dating someone their own age. Where as, like you said, open the pool to slightly older men and you find marriage minded men.

[–]Camille11325[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree the trend isn't seen everywhere, it definitely depends on location. I do believe that in the US the average age of marriage is increasing but that doesn't mean it's increasing in every town or state. We're on the same page about what marriage minded women should do, unfortunately plenty of other women don't approach the issue in this way. Thankfully RPW and other groups and resources for women are available to those who are interested. Thank you for reading and commenting I always enjoy your thoughts :)

[–]aTweetingBird 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

Here I am, pregnant at 29 with my first, and worrying about how many more I can pop out before 35, and women are waiting until close to 40 to have their first!? Yikes!

I really hate the "I can have it all" attitude. I really feel like the children suffer when a woman puts her career first. I'm just glad I saw Motherhood as my career and pursued that with all my might!

[–]Camille11325[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!!!!!!!!! The "I can have it all" brand of feminism is incredibly damaging to families; you're right the children do really suffer. And the poor husbands!

[–]aTweetingBird 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Thank you!! And yes, the poor husbands! I stay home now with Baby on the way, and I definitely feel better about it. I can tell my husband enjoys it too - I have much more time to cook healthy and delicious meals rather than the old "which of the 3 fast foods nearby do you want again?". When I cook, he loves my meals, and when he loves my meals, I get so happy!! When I get so happy, he gets happy and it keeps going up from there. I used to be so tired and exhausted all of the time from the stress of working, I'm so happy that my hubby is now my boss and my home is my office!

I recall seeing this article, and it just made sense to me that a husband would be happier when his wife has the time and energy to properly manage the household.

[–]Kittenkajira 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm having so much fun staying at home while pregnant, and cooking healthy meals. Sometimes I fix myself a glorious, massive salad for lunch. These are the things I just couldn't do while working - and with the added tiredness of being pregnant? Forget about it.

Neat article, thanks for sharing! And congratulations on your pregnancy!

[–]aTweetingBird 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thank you! Congratulations on yours as well! It's such a special time :) One of the added benefits I'm noticing from cooking at home is less heartburn! I used to have horrible bouts for days, and now it's really at a minimum. It's so hard to avoid heartburn while pregnant, so every little bit helps! I've been craving a big salad, sounds so good!

[–]am3liiaearly 20s, engaged, 1.5 yrs 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Call me a cynic, but I think if a woman’s had a cancer serious enough to warrant chemotherapy I’m not sure her capacity to conceive a child is really her most important concern.

So I am actually a cancer survivor who did fertility treatments (I froze eggs and took drugs during chemo to protect my ovaries). It’s absolutely something doctors take very seriously, especially because lots of cancers that are serious enough to be treated with chemo still have cure rates above 90%. I am very glad that doctors take fertility concerns seriously!

That being said, the fact that women opt to go through this stuff instead of just the natural way really bothers me. Fertility treatments are painful, tedious, expensive, and often risky for both the mother and the baby.

I had tons of visits with the fertility specialist during the weeks that we were preparing to remove my eggs, and I asked him a lot of questions. He did say he treats a lot of women with biological fertility issues, or medical issues like mine, but that a lot of his patients were just older women having problems conceiving or freezing eggs for later. Even the number of eggs they are able to remove depends on your age - as an example, I had 41 removed. His clinics average is 9-12, and he said a woman in her 40s may only be able to remove 2-4. Each cycle of IVF costs about $15,000. If a woman can’t give a lot of eggs, and none of them take, she may have to do multiple cycles. On top of the cost, there is a lot of work done before the removal. You have a few weeks of 2-4 at home injections a day and ultrasounds every few days.

Having children is something women should really think about and consider when making life decisions. If having healthy children is a priority, your career shouldn’t interfere. The majority of women can find someone great to settle down with in their 20s. I can’t imaging risking the health of myself and my future baby just because I wanted to sleep around and party for decades. If you want to have marriage and kids, it should a priority instead of a second thought to everything else in life.