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Women upset me (self.MGTOW)

UrbanII が 投稿

I think that I'm above average attractiveness but I can never seem to find an above average girlfriend. Every girl I've been with has been below average. The only reason I was with them was out of desperation. I would go through a vicious cycle of breaking up with my below average girlfriend in hopes of finding an attractive one, only to get lonely and finally settle for another below average girlfriend. I'm tall, not fat, and my face looks decent, but the market is so over-saturated that I can't get what I feel I'm worth. I'm honestly not even picky. I don't think it's asking so much for a girl who isn't fat and has a somewhat pretty face, but I can't ever find that.

I'm now in my mid 20s and my hairline is beginning to recede. It's all downhill from here. Using dating apps is like window shopping at luxury stores, I know I can never buy it so why look? It's sad because so many of my male friends are in the same boat, they look decent but can't get a decent looking girl. You either have to be insanely lucky or a total 10/10 Chad to stand a chance. I can't stand girls personalities, it always feels so toxic talking to them. They have to constantly be entertained with witty energetic banter or else they get bored and talk to the dozens of Chads they have in their phone. If you actually do manage to date one, they quickly become bitchy and henpeck you.

It's really crushing to realize that the stereotypical happy ever after relationship is a myth. I want to believe it's real but every single experience I have had or have heard of, directly contradicts that. I'm sick and tired of being the "good catch" to some fat sow, and worthless to any girl that I would find attractive. I'm tired of being ignored or laughed off of every dating site I try. Maybe I'm destined to be a MGTOW. Maybe I should just accept it and stop wasting my time and energy.

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[–]JStheHammer 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Forget about women, focus on making money.

[–]nu216 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's your choice ultimately, but if you ask me, women aren't worth the time. There's simply nothing besides sex that the majority of them can even add to a relationship and there's so much danger involving that when you consider the real possibility of false DV and false rape accusations that can destroy your life.

[–]seedyjay 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

I feel for you, but tbh women are more trouble than it's worth.

The most important person in your life is you. You hold the keys to your own future. Focus on your career and find a hobby to take up your spare time, be it writing, studying, astrophotography... there's any number of ways to sharpen your mind and expand your horizons.

I took up reading huge amounts of fantasy novels, writing my own stuff, studying cosmology, astrophysics, meteorology as well as continuing my old gaming hobbies.

I haven't missed women in the last twenty years. Not at all. I've seen the damage they've done to my friends and relatives.

Nowadays, as an amusing aside, my friends all want me in their pub quiz team because I've perfected mnemonic techniques to enhance my memory to near photographic levels and soak up knowledge like a sponge from focused study sessions.

You can be much more than a piece of "ego candy" to some harpy and you being twenty years younger than me your potential is still ripe and ready to be shaped. A young mind can be an astonishing treasure if trained and used well.

[–]UrbanII[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

You're right, but I still have that "can't win if you don't play" gambling mentality. I feel like if I give up, I might have potentially got lucky and found that one unicorn mythical perfect girl who is pretty but not a crazy cunt. I know the odds are low. It's probably better to not risk getting burned. But I would like to have kids. I feel like if I die without having offspring I've lost the evolution game.

[–]seedyjay [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I felt the same way in my twenties so I know how you feel.

It's a tough time but by the time you reach thirty you'll be a bit more laid back. Having kids is a huge commitment and it's one that I've seen burn guys who are friends and relatives. It's a question of risk.

It's easy for me to say, I know. I'm in my mid-forties and the testosterone speaks a little bit quieter than it did twenty years ago.

At the end of the day you are facing a bowl of tainted M&M's. 50% are sweet sugary goodness and 50% are lethal poison. Would you snack out on that bowl?

If you focus on your career and potential, studying hard to improve your chances (not too much, you still need some chill out time) then you can improve your career and that alone will make you more attractive to ladies (if you really are bent on kids and relationships).

It's a dilemma for a guy with strong paternal urges, I wish I could be more helpful.

I'm now content with my life as a bachelor. I've got time for me. Time that I never had when involved with women. Time to chill, watch football, study or for gaming, and tbh I'm content with life.

[–]ePants 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm tall, not fat, and my face looks decent, but the market is so over-saturated that I can't get what I feel I'm worth.

You're gonna think I'm an asshole for this, but I swear I'm trying to be helpful and share from my experience.

That last word is the problem. "Worth."

It's wrong to be thinking about how much you're worth in this context for several reasons.

Every man should have confidence and know what they're really worth, since the world often treats us like we're worthless and disposable.

First off, that honestly doesn't matter when "trying to find a girlfriend." If you're trying, then you're the one who will compromise and settle. You're what the real estate world calls a "motivated seller" and you say the market is saturated, so your value to women, the buyers, may be much lower than your objective worth. So economic principles indicate you'll have to settle, relocate to a new market, or hold out and hope to get lucky.

Secondly, if you feel like you're not getting what you deserve, but you keep accepting it, then maybe it actually is what you think you deserve. Otherwise you wouldn't accept it.

Thirdly - and here's where you'll really think I'm an asshole - maybe those women you don't really care for are actually in the same league as you. Maybe you're overestimating how attractive you are, and it's a mistake to think you could do better.

I mean, if you could do better, but haven't... then how exactly do you "know" you could?

After all, one of the only ways a guy can really figure out how attractive he is, is by looking at how attractive the women who will date him are. I personally don't use number ratings, but for the sake of making an example, if a guy only dates 6's, then he's probably a 6; if he dates 9's, he's probably an 9; if he usually dates 4's and every once in a while dates an 8, then maybe he's a 8 who is too desperate and settles - or maybe he's a 4 or 5 and got lucky a few times.

If that gets you upset, then you're still putting too much importance on being desirable to women in the first place, which it sounds like from the way you describe how frustrated you are.

That's just my two cents, anyway.