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[–]whilst 335 points336 points337 points  (44 children)
We don't know how bad the problem is because we make it impossible for pedophiles to come out. We hate the group in question so much that it makes it impossible to study the problem.
The world would probably be a better place for all concerned if there were any resources for young pedophiles, and if there weren't a sizeable group of people who had to deal with the knowledge that society had already given up on them and that they were universally loathed by age 12-13 (when they entered puberty and began to experience sexual attraction). The fact that out pedophiles are unemployable and can even get lynched means we will never understand the problem of pedophilia, or be able to work to address it. We're also giving young pedophiles zero recourse or guidance, and subjecting them to a tremendous emotional trauma, which is a great way to break a person and/or make them a danger to themself or others. So, not only do we force pedophiles to hide, we do our best to make them as dangerous as possible.
Something about this status quo needs to change.
</rant>
[–]Thaddeus_Ghostal 106 points107 points108 points  (15 children)
I had a phase where I was obsessed with crime stories, everything from petty theft to murder. After a while I got the impression that a lot of really horrific crimes occur when people think they have no hope of redemption. They may start by stealing a TV to pawn for drugs and end up killing someone over it because the prospect of going to jail is so terrifying they would do anything to avoid it. It makes me wonder how many awful crimes occur simply because our society backs people into corners and makes them feel helpless and afraid. When I hear about someone doing something so terrible it seems to defy belief I put myself in a desperate person's shoes and suddenly it makes a bit more sense.
[–]transformer96 21 points22 points23 points  (6 children)
If you corner a animal into a corner, they'll lash out at ya
[–]DicksOutForHillary 34 points35 points36 points  (3 children)
“They should all be put to the sword,” Joffrey declared suddenly. “The Mallisters and Blackwoods and Brackens... all of them. They’re traitors. I want them killed, Grandfather. I won’t have any generous terms.”
"Joffrey, when your enemies defy you, you must serve them steel and fire. When they go to their knees, however, you must help them back to their feet. Elsewise no man will ever bend the knee to you. And any man who must say ‘I am the king’ is no true king at all."
[–]Delta-9- [score hidden]  (0 children)
Tywin Lannister, politicking bastard and evil cock sucker that he was, was a very wise man.
[–]uber_diesel [score hidden]  (0 children)
Tywin is one of the best characters in the ASOIAF/GoT universe in my opinion.
[–]transformer96 [score hidden]  (0 children)
Reminds me of pablo
[–]EjaculatoryDevice [score hidden]  (1 child)
Or fuck kids in this case
[–]transformer96 [score hidden]  (0 children)
Im not excusing pedophiles or anyone that commits crime, but I do agree that people with no hope are most likely to commit horrendous crimes.
[–]13of1000accounts [score hidden]  (3 children)
The most dangerous person in the world to you is one who fears you. Fear is a desperate emotion. "The bitch is gonna take everything i ever worked for if she files for divorce/calls the cops/discovers my lover/walks out of the house/....."
And all of a sudden some rational guy, a father, a lodge member, a churchgoer is dismembering his wife of 20 years and stuffing her into a barrel and driving out to victorville (cal. Desert) at 3:47 a.m.
[–]CNoTe820 [score hidden]  (2 children)
That was an oddly specific description of a crime.
[–]RetroPRO [score hidden]  (0 children)
Does anybody actually know where u/13of1000accounts really was at 3:47am last night? I know I don't.
[–]Troaweymon42 [score hidden]  (1 child)
We don't believe in redemption or rehabilitation in America. We have this false dichotomy in our minds, that there are good people and bad people with nothing in between. It creates a class of citizens walking around believing they truly are scum, and they then fulfill that role because they have no faith in themselves. This is why we have more people in jail than any other country in the world. Even worse, private prisons are such big money(coming straight from our tax dollars) that they spend millions on lobbying to keep petty crimes like marijuana possession in schedule 1: on the same level as heroin.
[–]Thaddeus_Ghostal [score hidden]  (0 children)
I read an article or paper or something years ago that asserted many European countries have a greater cultural acceptance of poverty. Being poor doesn't make you a bad person, you aren't assumed to be lazy and of low moral character, it isn't assumed that you are a drug user or criminal because you happen to live in poverty. That really struck me because I feel as if growing up in America I was conditioned to believe otherwise.
All places where poor people congregate/live are automatically assumed to be dangerous. All poor people are assumed to be thieves who either steal other people's stuff or tax dollars because they refuse to better themselves. We seem to have this false idea that it is possible for everyone to not be poor, that we could live in a society where no poverty exists if everyone just buckled down.
The older I get the more I become convinced that the world Americans seem to be working towards is impossible to achieve. We should be working harder to de-stigmatize poverty or the country will reach a plateau it can never improve beyond.
[–]KindOfBadassTho 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
sociopaths usually, but the animal in a corner is really interesting point I never considered !
[–]Thaddeus_Ghostal [score hidden]  (0 children)
I think a lot of people want to blame crime on sociopaths by definition. We are way too quick to assume that just because someone did something that seems like it would only be possible if you can't empathize that the person must be a sociopath. That's barely better than blaming crime on "evil" or any other mystical force which could compel otherwise rational people to act irrationally. I find it far more likely that desperation, an all too common emotion, could drive someone to value their own needs, safety and freedom over another's so much that it allows them to rationalize theft, assault, or murder. If you're at the bottom then every other person has more than you and it becomes easier to blame them for your circumstances. Of you're at the top then the idea of having less than or none of what you have worked for would seem like an immense disaster.
[–]kendii 69 points70 points71 points  (0 children)
I was going to say something along these lines. There's a big difference between a non-offending pedophile and an active predator such as all the men that were just caught.
But most people don't tend to see or understand the difference. In fact, I don't think most people even care about such a distinction, scum of the earth is scum of the earth.
It would be so much better if they could go to intensive therapy or counselling without the fear I literally ruining their whole life in the process. I imagine that they would have a much lower percent chance of offending if they had professional help like that.
[–]TreeRootPlays 28 points29 points30 points  (2 children)
My favorite line from any poem is:
"this is for the celibate pedophiles, still trying" - From the poem Shake The Dust by Anis Mojgani.
Its fucking beautiful to me, and maybe thats because unfortunatly I've had a few interactions throughout my life with pedophiles or people with unwanted attractions to me when I was very young. And even more now someone very close to me, thier brother was outed. He has attempted suicide several times and is just such a broken person now. It's really helped me understand that its a mental health problem and we do nothing to help people with it, we shame them into fear and hiding.
[–]wide_eyed_otter [score hidden]  (1 child)
I read your comment on mobile, which, combined with the length of some of your words, created some weird line breaks in the section after the quote (which I read as the forward to a poem) and caused me to try to make sense of it as verse.
[–]TreeRootPlays [score hidden]  (0 children)
Whoops. Incidental poetry is cool though.
[–]synpse 26 points27 points28 points  (7 children)
even child porn. those who look at the pictures get 5-10 years in federal prison. those who create the pictures are not hunted enough. cuz.. resources are being diverted to those just looking at pictures online.
and if you're 13, in this technology age, looking for naked girls your age, you're risking getting branded for life.. for being naive and wanting to see females your own age.
[–]jhargavet [score hidden]  (0 children)
It's worse than that, two 16 year olds sexting each other get caught they get charged for making and distribution of child porn and labeled as sex offenders. Probably needs to be part of sex education, "dont take naked photos till 18". The religious people would rather burry their head in the sand, curb sex ed and hand girls aspirin for birth control.
[–]abnerjames 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Rich people want to profit off of, at any cost, the lives of poor people. Of course doing things like that is illegal. That's how the system has been set up.
[–]Le_Faveau [score hidden]  (3 children)
I'm always mad remembering you can't find girls your own age when looking for porn.
We men don't fucking start watching porn at 18, girls 18 yrs old were old hags for teenager me.
I had to delude myself into thinking they were 15.
I'm not really talking about the topic here, I just read this message and got mad remembering that. Teenagers want porn too ffs
[–]C12901 [score hidden]  (0 children)
Uh, this is an issue that is clearly your preference problem does not outweigh the abuse issues that may result of your want.
[–]KennyFulgencio [score hidden]  (0 children)
This is why my kids are getting their own laptops that I don't know the password for. No way those little assholes are getting me jailed for their crimes.
[–]Alerta_Antifa 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Actually we can know, there are tests that can be done to identify them. But it's Orwellian and I would never advocate for it.
[–]kushxmaster [score hidden]  (0 children)
Mental health in general needs more support.
[–]RuskayaPrincesa [score hidden]  (0 children)
Thanks for this fresh perspective. Never thought of it from that angle.
[–]JJMcgray [score hidden]  (0 children)
I agree. Acting in those urges is illegal so if folks hate that so be it.
But if someone so much as came out and said ,"I am attracted to young kids and I need help. No I have not acted in these desires." The result would still be pure hatred.
So of course no one ever comes out for help. And the problem never gets fixed.
[–]jajablah [score hidden]  (0 children)
Completely agree with you! There was a pedophile political party in the Netherlands which was a start.
[–]lamaface21 comment score below threshold-6 points-5 points-4 points  (3 children)
Ok. Here's the problem. Just because what "gets you off" isn't universally accepted doesn't make you a real life fucking tragedy.
That's what being an adult functioning member of society means, that you fucking control yourself. These people aren't just poor souls who happened to be cursed with a tragic natural attraction, they are antisocial predators who attack and abuse children, specifically because they value their ORGASM more highly than the rules and laws of society and the integrity and rights of another human being.
[–]SouthTampon 8 points9 points10 points  (0 children)
What theyre saying is the ones who recognize their problem and want help to control those urges, before ever getting to the point of acting on them, should have help available to them that doesnt automatically ruin their lives.
[–]TechGoat 12 points13 points14 points  (0 children)
You don't get it, dude. He's not talking about attackers. He's talking about people who were naturally born sexually attracted to children. That's the problem, they're hated just for their completely unchosen nature that they are most likely not even acting on (statistically speaking) because of the horrific actions of the (statistically speaking) few, the terrible, evil bad apples out of their natural group.
There should be more resources for pedophiles who don't want to hurt anyone but are too scared to talk to a therapist because of how they'll be attacked both verbally and physically about something they never asked for.
[–]Wswgyg [score hidden]  (0 children)
Any other time we ban sex for a different group they ignore the law. Even when punished with death people seek out sex. Good luck stopping it this time.
[–]Septem_151 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
I love you. With all of my heart.
There are very few people who understand the pain, depression, self-hatred, you name it. I'm so glad that at least more than 20 people in this community agree with you.
It truly, truly makes me happy.
[–]JesusIsAPussie [score hidden]  (0 children)
Hey gang, i think we found the pedophile.
[–]jaigoga -3 points-2 points-1 points  (1 child)
pedophilia is one of those things like homosexuality, pretty rampant throughout human history and only recently started to be frowned upon. homosexuality of course because of spread of christianity. but why and how did pedophilia become a bad thing? i think it was more to make the other cultures look terrible so people stay away from them. like the stigma of cannibalism on the african natives, it was meant to be a terrible thing being done by the pagans.
all this was done to feel superior and not feel outrage when the pagans/natives were colonised and mercilessly massacred and looted.
another reason could be contract law. if a minor is allowed to give consent (i.e. be a party in a contract), then that will open the floodgates to allowing the minors entering into other contracts like opening bank accounts and voting in elections. that is a disruption that society would rather not have. so minors are not allowed to consent for sex.
[–]Individdy [score hidden]  (0 children)
Where there exists such a difference in experience, psychological knowledge, ability to be manipulated, etc. how could it be legal for a minor to consent without allowing for adults taking advantage of them in a way that they cover up, only to be revealed much later? The adult can manipulate in so many ways due to their experience.
[–]stit_gib [score hidden]  (0 children)
Yeah, but its not in the nature of most people to talk about their sexual preferences to other people anyway. That shit is awkward yo. Even if the resources exist, i dont think most pedophiles are gonna reveal themselves openly

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