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Coping with Codependency and Addiction (self.MGTOW)

MGTOW2014 が 投稿

Dad was a critical narcissist. Mom was a personable codependent. I became a shy and awkward book worm. Was desperate for a a girl/woman all through high school and college, but had no clue. None.

Weight lifted and shit, good shape. No game. Fear. In professional school had my first GF, lost virginity. She dumped me after a couple months. Despondent. A year later, same thing different girl. A year later engagement and marriage. 20 years. Me Highly codependent.

She divorces me. A year later future wife number 2. Classic narcissist in disguise, "love bombing" me as the perfect man for 2 years. 4 years later we're married. 5 months later I'm kicked out. She was fucking nuts, though. Really.

Here it is 2 years since wifey number 2. Sex with numerous women? Check. Younger women? Check. Working on my own shit? Check. But the loneliness and hunger remains. Less so. But there it is.

The addiction to my former ex's obviously nuked their attraction, that and all the myriad of weaknesses I displayed, because I was weak. I was addicted to the drug of their presence. When we broke up I felt as if I were completely alone in the world. Marooned on an island of me. Castaway and cast off. Facing my greatest demons, being rejected and alone.

Now, 2 years later, I feel more like I'm just doing my own thing, planning for some fun and adventure. A little thirsty, but I'm aware of it, controlling it, managing it. Can't say whether I'll ever get seriously involved again. It's still a need, its still there, but, not a priority.

A little fun and a big dose of independence is what Im striving for.

What are fun things guys can do alone?

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[–]gravelheart 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

What are fun things guys can do alone?

Get a dog and take him for walks out in nature

If you like music, learn guitar. Find a tutor or just use the net - there's a ton of resources out there. You could spend two years wasting time with some skank and have nothing at the end of it except rage and pain or you could take that two years and become a competent guitarist.

[–]MGTOW2014[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not interested in the guitar, tried it off and on over the years, my fingertips are too sensitive. I do write however.

[–]gravelheart 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I do write however.

Cool. Any creative/emotional outlet is good.

my fingertips are too sensitive

Gotta push through it and get those calluses formed :)

[–]Thinkpadoutlaw 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

If you are asking this question, you need to do some soul searching and become comfortable with yourself. Do interpret that as an insult or a recommendation to masturbate.

People who ask similarly framed questions are use to having other people tell them what to do, how to occupy their time, or other people(and folks) occupy their time and energy.

What are fun things guys can do alone? Men make whatever they do fun, enjoyable, or productive, alone or in a group setting.

[–]MGTOW2014[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Soul searching in progress.

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

What are fun things guys can do alone?

Anything you want. Is there a movie you want to see? Go. No permission or coordination needed.

Want to ride a motorcycle? Get one. No permission or coordination needed.

Want an adventure? Go backpacking in another country. Take a bicycle tour. Take up shooting. The world is your oyster.

[–]thescalpmaster1 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Meaning of life (taken from my notes)

I really think that after all of this, the meaning of life doesn't exist. You have to create it. You can either be content with nothing or be unhappy with everything. It's your decision. Meaning of life is just a definition/perception of reality. It's important to form one because it helps you to live. So why do you want to live and not die? is a question that cannot be answered. It's like choosing your own comfort food. Everyone has one(some people don't) but it doesn't mean everyone should have the same one. In fact, this disbelief of a universal truth forces humankind to strive and search for meaning by passing the information they learned to the next generation. If you find a universal truth, it implies that you have reached the end of the possible growth of human race. Example: a man running for no reason(or an illusion of reason) keeps on running because he has to. You cant stop running because everyone else is running which leaves you alone and possibly, your genes might go out of existence pretty soon because you aren't fit. ONCE, mankind had found a universal truth(a stop from running) it's the deadend of human growth and reproduction which in turn means killing itself. It looks like as if we're sugarcoating mankind's need to evolve and grow. I think it all boils down to biology and it's simple theory of evolution. Growth is the fundamental phenomenon that keeps your body and mind active. All hormones will be pumping with ideal amounts which gives you a feeling of happiness,fulfillment. It's just all biological. We just create drama and sugarcoat everything to make our existence a bit smoother or to provide alternate ways to achieve fulfillment because human body is a machine that keeps on deteriorating.

You must aim for solitude.

Solitude, on the other hand, is a state of being alone without being lonely. While loneliness is self-destructive in nature, solitude is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself used for inner reflection and growth