Dad was a critical narcissist. Mom was a personable codependent. I became a shy and awkward book worm. Was desperate for a a girl/woman all through high school and college, but had no clue. None.

Weight lifted and shit, good shape. No game. Fear. In professional school had my first GF, lost virginity. She dumped me after a couple months. Despondent. A year later, same thing different girl. A year later engagement and marriage. 20 years. Me Highly codependent.

She divorces me. A year later future wife number 2. Classic narcissist in disguise, "love bombing" me as the perfect man for 2 years. 4 years later we're married. 5 months later I'm kicked out. She was fucking nuts, though. Really.

Here it is 2 years since wifey number 2. Sex with numerous women? Check. Younger women? Check. Working on my own shit? Check. But the loneliness and hunger remains. Less so. But there it is.

The addiction to my former ex's obviously nuked their attraction, that and all the myriad of weaknesses I displayed, because I was weak. I was addicted to the drug of their presence. When we broke up I felt as if I were completely alone in the world. Marooned on an island of me. Castaway and cast off. Facing my greatest demons, being rejected and alone.

Now, 2 years later, I feel more like I'm just doing my own thing, planning for some fun and adventure. A little thirsty, but I'm aware of it, controlling it, managing it. Can't say whether I'll ever get seriously involved again. It's still a need, its still there, but, not a priority.

A little fun and a big dose of independence is what Im striving for.

What are fun things guys can do alone?