I feel like I have awakened from a bad dream into a strange world that I am learning to Navigate. I was a true SIMP by every definition. If you don't know what one is then look it up and don't be one. Here's a good video for reference https://youtu.be/I5fbt1fcdNQ . I had no idea there was a MGTOW world I was a man married to a woman who had him wrapped and raised her two children as well as the one we had together and worked constant overtime to get everything she wanted. I worked 4 or 5 twelve hour shifts a week and on my days off I would do laundry for 7 people who lived in our house. I was a happy wife happy lifer. Completely absorbed in my blue pill beta world with my beautiful wife who spent money foolishly and never let me discipline her kids. Her son gave me the greatest gift ever he turned on me became violent and attacked me in the middle of the night one night pounding on my head yelling "that was $400 Nigga!, you stole $400 dollars from me" (he's not black and neither am I) after I had found his drugs in his room and thrown them out because what man is going to put up with a drug dealer in his house. It wasn't the act of throwing away the drugs that upset this now rather tall and muscular 17 year old stepson I had it was that I stood up for myself and said "NO". I couldn't fight back because she would have called the cops on me and had me hauled away and I would have lost my professional licence, my son, and my freedom. I gave in to his mother's pleas that after he ran from the house and the sheriffs came by I told them I didn't want to file a police report with blood running down my nose, the right side of my head swollen and blood all over my shirt because my wife was begging "for our marriage honey please don't do it".

In most cultures they have a term for the kinda man I was for blacks its a SIMP, for mexicans its the Mandelon sorry my computer won't do the accent thing, for whites I guess you could say I was pussywhipped and for the world of reddit I was a blue pill beta. But every man has his breaking point. I said NO stood up for what I believe in and as I had promised if that boy ever came back without an apology or anything I would leave. And when she brought him home and he started telling me how he was brought up in the ghetto and how he had ambitions of becomming a legal drug distributer when Marijuana became legal in our state of California (it hasn't yet, don't jump in your VW bus and start driving out here), and how he was working on his rhymes. I did exactly as I had promised after a weekend of my conscious telling me You don't have to live this way you could leave., I walked up to her and said I don't want to live in a drug house, I don't want to be with you anymore and I'm getting a divorce. She cried her eyes out when I told her I was leaving I didn't feel sorry for her at all. I quickly went in survival mode and within two days I had found another man at my work who was also going through a divorce and found an apartment, contacted a realtor and a divorce attorney a female one who hates women and also cared about my rights as a father. My wife was extremely beautiful and sweet upon initial speaking with her and after being away from her for a couple of months I was standing with her talking at our sons soccer practice and had a lapse of thinking and felt I should get back with her and put myself back in my cage and just have a blind eye to the insanity which was my life. That lasted for awhile but with the help of a great councelor and good male friends I realized nothing would change and there was nothing to go back to. I live a simple life now. I work, am cleaning up the financial wreckage of my divorce, and am spending as much time as I can with my son. The local sheriffs office called me a month ago looking for my stepson because he assaulted another person in my town and they want to lock him up, this will be his second violent offence not including attacking me and also my son in law because he pushed his sister one time. He is the rage monster created by living with an emotional single mom and an absent father and a stepfather he chose to hate and disrespect and why shouldn't he, my own wife didn't respect me and didn't have my back. I have worked in a mostly female field for 20 years now and used to use my understanding of women to please them and make them like me, now I use my new clearer understanding of women and the facts of AWALT to look upon them with disgust and amusement. Some women have practically thrown themselves at me in this time period mostly single moms and I have kept my distance. I have seen them coming a mile away. I have been awakened from my bad dream and am learning to be happy on my own. I spend every second I can with my son and try to teach him how to be a man who things for himself and he even mentioned to me "why have a wife daddy they just take your money" and he told me "don't help mommy let her help herself.", when I was being a simp again and trying to get back with her. I don't want to teach him to hate women but to mearly see them as how they really are. I don't want to ever "be simpin" again.