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In defense of incels... (self.TheBluePill)

NotThatUglyThrow が 投稿

I'd like to start off that I'm an extremely liberal person. I'm a fan of BLM, I'm a Sanders and Jill Stein supporter, I believe in helping the environment, etc. I also believe in women's rights.

I used to be a lot more of a hard core feminist whenever I had a close female friend of mine that I used to spend a lot of time with who I was close with. Then I got ghosted by her, and all of the sudden, no women wanted to spend time with me.

Months set in, I tried Tinder and failed, I tried going out and meeting people and failed, etc. As time passed, I started to become more and more resentful. I used to laugh at incels. Now I feel like karma has struck because I'm one of them now.

They're not bad people. They just have delt with the pain of being alone for a long period of time.

I'm ugly as hell and unwanted. THAT'S why I am bitter. I don't really hate women, it's just that I kinda feel bitter towards them because I lack in the looks department.

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[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 4ポイント5ポイント  (40子コメント)

I'd like to start off that I'm an extremely liberal person.

And a troll. I would know this because I specifically have tried to give you advice in the past and you never even bothered to listen. And because you keep making accounts and talking about the same girl over and over. I have seen your pictures, you aren't ugly, you just have a crappy haircut and dress poorly. Presentation matters. I say it again and again and again and a lot of people keep thinking otherwise.

[–][削除されました]  (1子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Oh I agree, but if he is willing to help himself and change, I can at least help a bit.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -2ポイント-1ポイント  (37子コメント)

    How do I dress poorly? I always wear a nice T-Shirt, nice jeans, etc. I don't wear a fedora. I don't wear shitty T-Shirts when I go out, etc.

    My haircut is bad, but I can't help it right now. I have to wait until my hair grows out a bit more so I can get another cut (I don't like having my hair too short).. I could always go out with a hat more often.

    I try to get advice so that isn't bullying. And what's wrong with talking about a girl you like? It isn't like she has been ignoring me and telling me to leave her alone. I just like to make a post if I feel like I might have said the wrong thing, etc, and how to fix it and get past it.

    [–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (21子コメント)

    If you know your hair looks awful then yes, wear a hat. Hats will solve all of your hair problems.

    Wear flannels or polos, not t-shirts. I stopped wearing jeans, they're hard to pull off. Wear nice shoes.

    If you're trying to rethink every convo you have with this girl then you have insecurity issues you need to work on. You shouldn't be posting so frequently about whether or not you did something wrong, that kind of stress shows during the interaction itself.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (20子コメント)

    I usually wear a flannel or a polo, and I like jeans, khakis are too formal. I always wear a nice pair of skinny jeans along with converse flat shoes. I just really like that look, and I don't want to change it for a woman. Plenty of men that dress like I do get women, and get the women that I generally go for (the alternative types). However, I just can't quite get a girlfriend of my own.

    [–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (19子コメント)

    When the whole world tells you your girl problem is because of how you dress, and you want to fix the girl problem, but you don't wanna change how you dress, I'm gonna go ahead and suggest that you're never going to get a girl.

    We're just trying to help, man. Take it or leave it.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (18子コメント)

    I honestly don't know how I dress bad. Here is how I usually dress, please tell me one thing that's wrong with it.

    • Flannel or polo shirt

    • Skinny jeans

    • Converse shoes

    • (Occasionally) a flat-bill baseball cap.

    [–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (11子コメント)

    We ARE telling you, you just keep arguing with everything.

    Pretty much everything but the shirt.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -2ポイント-1ポイント  (10子コメント)

    You just said for me to wear polos or flannels. I tell you I wear polos and flannels and you said not to wear them? I am confused.

    [–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (5子コメント)

    Everything BUT the shirt is wrong. Worded poorly, sorry.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -2ポイント-1ポイント  (4子コメント)

    What's wrong with jeans? I feel like switching to Khakis would age me. I feel like wearing jeans, especially skinny jeans, shows that I still have some youth in me.

    [–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

    We're trying so hard to help you, please stop fighting. :/

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

    I apologize. I just don't want to drastically change my look if I like it myself. I feel like I either got to be uncomfortable and dress how I don't feel like dressing, thus making me feel more awkward. Or, I have to dress the way I love to dress, and never be physically attractive.

    [–]nothingtoworryabout -3ポイント-2ポイント  (5子コメント)

    It's because that's homeless-tier clothing. A suit from Savile Row and Bugatti or Ecco shoes is the minimum, you unwashed pleb.

    [–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    lol fuck off. You can wear basic streetwear and look really good. You don't need to go super expensive with everything you wear. In fact, you can probably thrift some pretty great jackets if you know where to look. Basic streetwear isn't even expensive.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Seriously? Wear a suit every where I go?

    [–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Yeah, don't do that. That's just weird.

    [–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    He is a troll from r/Incels. No, you do not need to wear a suit everywhere you go. Your style is what I would categorize as boring man. You can work on it. You just need to be intentional about your fashion choices from now on. I want to help, believe me.

    [–]nothingtoworryabout -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

    *facepalm* Of course not everywhere, who the fuck does that? Barney Stinson was a joke, you know.

    Just to most places where you can and it is socially possible.

    [–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (14子コメント)

    Partially what u/khazhak said about how you dress is on point. If you are wearing t-shirts, you need to layer well, or go super simple. Flannels are always a good choice (either wearing it, or doing what I do and tying it around my waist if it is too warm). With jeans, tapered fits are always the best (and you can easily learn to taper any pair of pants you have), but you need to know what types of shoes to wear. Desert boots are a good choice, or for more casual shoes, Adidas Stan Smiths are a really clean look. If it's colder out, be creative with jackets, ditch the hoodie for say, a light parka, or a field coat, or a pea coat. Coats and jackets look a lot better than hoodies unless you are going really casual.

    Your pictures aren't great for Tinder either, so if you have any photographer friends, ask them to take better pictures of you wearing some of your best outfits (not like, most professional or nicest, but your go-to outfits that are kinda what you like to wear most). I don't even Tinder anymore, but the best Tinder pictures are the ones where you are either doing something, or look a bit mysterious. Or if you are showing off how good your fashion sense is.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (13子コメント)

    I already said I don't wear T-shirts, especially when I go out. I always wear a nice polo or flannel. Also, what's wrong with converse? Converse is really popular in my area.

    Also, my photo I AM doing something. I'm standing out in front of these really cool looking stairs in SanFran.

    [–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

    So here is the album of pictures. Let me go through them one by one with you. I'm only linking it to give context, so if you don't like that I did, just ask me to remove it.

    For the first picture, sure, you are in front of stairs, but it shows off your hairline, which isn't your best feature, and for an intro picture, you are setting the expectations for what that person will see. What you want is a picture of you doing something you enjoy, or representing something you enjoy, while wearing clothes that are fashionable. A shot from the legs up at least is preferable (if not a full body shot), especially if you want to highlight your facial expression. Candid shots are best if you can do that. Again, talk with any people who do photography for fun that you know.

    Second picture, your not really in it, there is a girl in the middle (which a lot of girls probably wouldn't be too happy about, depending on how they interpret it), and again, you are highlighting one of your worse features. You need a new picture here too.

    Third picture. The lighting is crap and it looks really grainy. It doesn't highlight anything on your face, and this picture would be much better if it were a full body shot.

    The fourth one is the best, but even then, it's grainy. And the last picture, just looks old and doesn't really give you any personality.

    Your Tinder pictures are the reason you aren't getting matches on Tinder, and it has to do both with how you dress and the pictures you are using.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    First picture, I use because it's the most well-lit version of me. It also shows me doing something interesting. I want to show girls that I do interesting things and have interesting tastes. It's going to be a while before I go on vacation again, so if that photo is bad, I guess I shouldn't tinder.

    I guess I should get rid of that pic. I just wanted a picture of me doing something social. I never take pictures whenever I go out with friends, but I did that day and the girl was the one taking the photos with my phone.

    Third pic is my favorite, but I didn't use it as my default as it's too dark. The lighting is shitty. But I still used it to show girls that I'm an interesting dude.

    Fourth picture isn't really the best, because it's from far away. You can't really see my face as I'm looking down at the dog.

    The last picture, is shitty, and old. However, I looked my best at that age, and I was doing something fun and social.

    I guess I'm going to have to scrap the pictures I guess.

    I just don't see why though. I just feel like I'm inherently ugly. I remember I was out with my friend, who is shorter than me, and girls approached him while none approached me. I did approach a couple, and only 1/2 responded positilvy (a measly 20 minute conversation at a bar in the smoking area), however she was way out of my league.

    [–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Dude, you aren't inherently ugly. I have said this over and over. However, you need to dress in a way that highlights your better traits. Currently, you draw too much attention to your hairline and thinning hair. You still have enough hair to not have to shave, but you need to present yourself in a way that draws attention away from the hair. The pictures you have are bad, but again, take my suggestion and see if any photographer friends of yours (assuming you know someone who does that, or ask a friend of a friend) will just kick it with you and snap some better pictures while you hang out.

    [–]khazhak 0ポイント1ポイント  (9子コメント)

    That reminds me - don't use pix with a girl in it. That makes it look like you're taken.

    That was solid advice by that guy, don't just throw it out. You want to be successful, right?

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (8子コメント)

    I was actually third-wheeling. I was told that in your tinder photo, you should always put a picture where you're doing somthing social. I never really take pics when I'm out with friends, so I don't have any good ones.

    [–]khazhak 0ポイント1ポイント  (7子コメント)

    Use a pic of you by yourself then. You don't want anyone thinking you used a pic of your ex for a dating site.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (6子コメント)

    That was me, and my friends. The girl in the photo is my friend's girlfriend. My friend isn't visibile in the photo due to the way tinder crops.

    [–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Dude, my advice is to scrap all your pictures. Find a friend who is a photographer and do a photoshoot. Take some night pictures, take some day pictures. You should have 5 or 6 really nice pictures by the end of it.

    [–]QuixoticAnthro 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Excellent advice. He won't follow it because excuses. "I don't know a photographer. I think the pics will look staged. But I like how I look in these pictures." and on and on.

    [–]khazhak 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I know that. You know that. Are strangers gonna know that? Nope.

    [–]ThrowawayHamster16 -5ポイント-4ポイント  (6子コメント)

    Remember when you sent me this?

    http://imgur.com/a/G2NI9

    [–]QuixoticAnthro 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Nothing says extremely liberal and a believer in women's rights like rape threats.

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

    You're taking it way out of context. You said some really horrible stuff to me, so I lost my temper and said some fucked up shit back.

    [–]ThrowawayHamster16 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Go ahead and quote the "really horrible stuff" I said.

    Go on.

    (For the record, anyone keeping track at home, the message that instigated the rape threat is the second one. All his original words quoted right back at him.)

    [–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

    I don't remember what, too much water goes over the bridge. But I never say fucked up stuff unprovoked. You either called me creepy because I was asking about advice about a girl I'm friends with (not some random girl I'm "stalking", or you said I'd be alone forever. Then I followed up with that.

    [–]ThrowawayHamster16 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    (´･ω･`)

    [–]like300 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    This reminds me of the "as a black man" common on reddit.

    Your entire post could be this:

    In defense of racists...

    I'm liberal and totes believe in civil rights.

    I used to be a liberal and totes believe in civil rights. Then I had a bad experience with a PoC.

    Months passed and I did not have a good experience with a PoC. I used to laugh at racists. Now I feel like karma has struck because I'm one of them now.

    Racists not bad people. They're racist because of bad experiences with PoC.

    I don't hate PoC. I just don't like them; they make me feel bad by existing and not giving me what I feel owed.

    You're apparently sending PMs threatening to rape, torture, imprison, and kill people and blaming it on being upset. Dude, that is not a healthy reaction to being angry. Please keep that in mind.

    Your comments also seem to exude entitlement. Believing that wearing the correct clothing entitles you to someone being interested in you, and if they aren't interested then you have a right to be upset. That also is not a healthy belief.

    All of which means that you are saying one thing:

    • I'm a good person who feels bad things

    Which is fine; it's not like you're the first person to struggle with ideas, or every commenter is a saint, or whatever. But the common denominator of all the criticism (including self-criticism) and comments is: you.

    I don't mean that in the sense of "here I sit in my ivory tower of perfection dispensing judgment like a capricious god". I mean that the problems begin in the square footage above and behind your eyes so that's where you should start if you want to improve yourself. Go see a counselor, a psychologist, whoever can help. Because if your response to being angered is threatening rape, and your response to someone choosing to not be interested in you is anger and bitterness, then that's where you need to begin and no wardrobe or picture changes will help you.