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In defense of incels... (self.TheBluePill)

NotThatUglyThrow が 投稿

I'd like to start off that I'm an extremely liberal person. I'm a fan of BLM, I'm a Sanders and Jill Stein supporter, I believe in helping the environment, etc. I also believe in women's rights.

I used to be a lot more of a hard core feminist whenever I had a close female friend of mine that I used to spend a lot of time with who I was close with. Then I got ghosted by her, and all of the sudden, no women wanted to spend time with me.

Months set in, I tried Tinder and failed, I tried going out and meeting people and failed, etc. As time passed, I started to become more and more resentful. I used to laugh at incels. Now I feel like karma has struck because I'm one of them now.

They're not bad people. They just have delt with the pain of being alone for a long period of time.

I'm ugly as hell and unwanted. THAT'S why I am bitter. I don't really hate women, it's just that I kinda feel bitter towards them because I lack in the looks department.

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[–]khazhak 2ポイント3ポイント  (17子コメント)

You're bitter toward women and make sweeping, hateful generalizations about them because you're insecure. Solid defense.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -2ポイント-1ポイント  (16子コメント)

Okay. So I swipe right on a lot of women. No woman will swipe right on me. Explain to me how all women aren't the same....

[–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Explain to me how that's a rational thing to think.

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 1ポイント2ポイント  (14子コメント)

Bruh, because you don't know how to dress and have a bad haircut. Tinder is entirely presentation, and you present yourself poorly.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (9子コメント)

How the fuck do I dress bad? I wear nice T-Shirts. I just dropped $140 on a new outfit. I always wear nice T-shirts and nice skinny jeans. Nice try, though.

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 1ポイント2ポイント  (6子コメント)

There is a difference with wearing nice clothes and having an individual sense of style. All I am gonna say. How you dress doesn't stand out. It's regular man clothing. Nothing wrong with that, but if you are going for Tinder matches, you really need to stand out somehow. I have a couple friends who are pretty damn average if not a bit below. They still get Tinder matches because they are really interesting people (photographers, etc.).

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -2ポイント-1ポイント  (5子コメント)

What the fuck does that even mean? I'm not a teenager, I'm not going to wear some jeans with chains on them or whatever. "Standing out" is what teenagers do. I am too old for a mohawk, and pearcings and tattoos aren't really my thing.

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

I'm not going to wear some jeans with chains on them or whatever.

Nobody I know dresses like that.

I am too old for a mohawk, and pearcings and tattoos aren't really my thing.

And? I am a normal guy with a fairly normal haircut. I don't dress like that either, but I still developed a unique style over time. How someone dresses stands out when they let their personality express itself through their clothing. Creative layering, tapering your pants, pin rolling your jeans, and a mix of colors that match all work.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

I think my style is pretty unique. Polo or flannel shirt, skinny jeans, with converse shoes, and a nice beard. Nothing too stand-out-ish, but I def don't look like some random guy.

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Tbh, if I saw someone dressed like you where I live, you would be just a random guy. I'm not a fan of polos personally, but I really really trend towards the streetwear route (which I can attribute to the difference in our ages a bit). Part of having a unique style is taking risks, no matter how small, and the way you dress doesn't really give me that vibe. Taking risks is how you create a look for yourself.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I know, but my friend uses Tinder, and his photos don't make him "stand out", but he still gets more matches than I do.

[–]khazhak 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

You're getting the same advice over and over again. That doesn't happen randomly. :/

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I always get told that I "dress bad", when I think I dress pretty well.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

Also, my main pic you can't even see my clothes. It's just a face shot of me in front of something cool. If that doesn't get matches, nothing will. A woman just sees my face and will immediatly swipe left.

[–]khazhak 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

That's a bad photo, use a full body. People want to actually see you.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Why? Your face is what really matters in dating.

[–]khazhak 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's actually not. The torso is where people tend to look first.

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 2ポイント3ポイント  (24子コメント)

I'd like to start off that I'm an extremely liberal person.

And a troll. I would know this because I specifically have tried to give you advice in the past and you never even bothered to listen. And because you keep making accounts and talking about the same girl over and over. I have seen your pictures, you aren't ugly, you just have a crappy haircut and dress poorly. Presentation matters. I say it again and again and again and a lot of people keep thinking otherwise.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (23子コメント)

How do I dress poorly? I always wear a nice T-Shirt, nice jeans, etc. I don't wear a fedora. I don't wear shitty T-Shirts when I go out, etc.

My haircut is bad, but I can't help it right now. I have to wait until my hair grows out a bit more so I can get another cut (I don't like having my hair too short).. I could always go out with a hat more often.

I try to get advice so that isn't bullying. And what's wrong with talking about a girl you like? It isn't like she has been ignoring me and telling me to leave her alone. I just like to make a post if I feel like I might have said the wrong thing, etc, and how to fix it and get past it.

[–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (13子コメント)

If you know your hair looks awful then yes, wear a hat. Hats will solve all of your hair problems.

Wear flannels or polos, not t-shirts. I stopped wearing jeans, they're hard to pull off. Wear nice shoes.

If you're trying to rethink every convo you have with this girl then you have insecurity issues you need to work on. You shouldn't be posting so frequently about whether or not you did something wrong, that kind of stress shows during the interaction itself.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (12子コメント)

I usually wear a flannel or a polo, and I like jeans, khakis are too formal. I always wear a nice pair of skinny jeans along with converse flat shoes. I just really like that look, and I don't want to change it for a woman. Plenty of men that dress like I do get women, and get the women that I generally go for (the alternative types). However, I just can't quite get a girlfriend of my own.

[–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (11子コメント)

When the whole world tells you your girl problem is because of how you dress, and you want to fix the girl problem, but you don't wanna change how you dress, I'm gonna go ahead and suggest that you're never going to get a girl.

We're just trying to help, man. Take it or leave it.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (10子コメント)

I honestly don't know how I dress bad. Here is how I usually dress, please tell me one thing that's wrong with it.

  • Flannel or polo shirt

  • Skinny jeans

  • Converse shoes

  • (Occasionally) a flat-bill baseball cap.

[–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (6子コメント)

We ARE telling you, you just keep arguing with everything.

Pretty much everything but the shirt.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (5子コメント)

You just said for me to wear polos or flannels. I tell you I wear polos and flannels and you said not to wear them? I am confused.

[–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

Everything BUT the shirt is wrong. Worded poorly, sorry.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

What's wrong with jeans? I feel like switching to Khakis would age me. I feel like wearing jeans, especially skinny jeans, shows that I still have some youth in me.

[–]khazhak 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

We're trying so hard to help you, please stop fighting. :/

[–]nothingtoworryabout -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

It's because that's homeless-tier clothing. A suit from Savile Row and Bugatti or Ecco shoes is the minimum, you unwashed pleb.

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

lol fuck off. You can wear basic streetwear and look really good. You don't need to go super expensive with everything you wear. In fact, you can probably thrift some pretty great jackets if you know where to look. Basic streetwear isn't even expensive.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Seriously? Wear a suit every where I go?

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (8子コメント)

Partially what u/khazhak said about how you dress is on point. If you are wearing t-shirts, you need to layer well, or go super simple. Flannels are always a good choice (either wearing it, or doing what I do and tying it around my waist if it is too warm). With jeans, tapered fits are always the best (and you can easily learn to taper any pair of pants you have), but you need to know what types of shoes to wear. Desert boots are a good choice, or for more casual shoes, Adidas Stan Smiths are a really clean look. If it's colder out, be creative with jackets, ditch the hoodie for say, a light parka, or a field coat, or a pea coat. Coats and jackets look a lot better than hoodies unless you are going really casual.

Your pictures aren't great for Tinder either, so if you have any photographer friends, ask them to take better pictures of you wearing some of your best outfits (not like, most professional or nicest, but your go-to outfits that are kinda what you like to wear most). I don't even Tinder anymore, but the best Tinder pictures are the ones where you are either doing something, or look a bit mysterious. Or if you are showing off how good your fashion sense is.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (7子コメント)

I already said I don't wear T-shirts, especially when I go out. I always wear a nice polo or flannel. Also, what's wrong with converse? Converse is really popular in my area.

Also, my photo I AM doing something. I'm standing out in front of these really cool looking stairs in SanFran.

[–]khazhak 0ポイント1ポイント  (5子コメント)

That reminds me - don't use pix with a girl in it. That makes it look like you're taken.

That was solid advice by that guy, don't just throw it out. You want to be successful, right?

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

I was actually third-wheeling. I was told that in your tinder photo, you should always put a picture where you're doing somthing social. I never really take pics when I'm out with friends, so I don't have any good ones.

[–]khazhak 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

Use a pic of you by yourself then. You don't want anyone thinking you used a pic of your ex for a dating site.

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

That was me, and my friends. The girl in the photo is my friend's girlfriend. My friend isn't visibile in the photo due to the way tinder crops.

[–]khazhak 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I know that. You know that. Are strangers gonna know that? Nope.

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dude, my advice is to scrap all your pictures. Find a friend who is a photographer and do a photoshoot. Take some night pictures, take some day pictures. You should have 5 or 6 really nice pictures by the end of it.

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

So here is the album of pictures. Let me go through them one by one with you. I'm only linking it to give context, so if you don't like that I did, just ask me to remove it.

For the first picture, sure, you are in front of stairs, but it shows off your hairline, which isn't your best feature, and for an intro picture, you are setting the expectations for what that person will see. What you want is a picture of you doing something you enjoy, or representing something you enjoy, while wearing clothes that are fashionable. A shot from the legs up at least is preferable (if not a full body shot), especially if you want to highlight your facial expression. Candid shots are best if you can do that. Again, talk with any people who do photography for fun that you know.

Second picture, your not really in it, there is a girl in the middle (which a lot of girls probably wouldn't be too happy about, depending on how they interpret it), and again, you are highlighting one of your worse features. You need a new picture here too.

Third picture. The lighting is crap and it looks really grainy. It doesn't highlight anything on your face, and this picture would be much better if it were a full body shot.

The fourth one is the best, but even then, it's grainy. And the last picture, just looks old and doesn't really give you any personality.

Your Tinder pictures are the reason you aren't getting matches on Tinder, and it has to do both with how you dress and the pictures you are using.

[–]ThrowawayHamster16 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

Remember when you sent me this?

http://imgur.com/a/G2NI9

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

You're taking it way out of context. You said some really horrible stuff to me, so I lost my temper and said some fucked up shit back.

[–]ThrowawayHamster16 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Go ahead and quote the "really horrible stuff" I said.

Go on.

(For the record, anyone keeping track at home, the message that instigated the rape threat is the second one. All his original words quoted right back at him.)

[–]NotThatUglyThrow[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I don't remember what, too much water goes over the bridge. But I never say fucked up stuff unprovoked. You either called me creepy because I was asking about advice about a girl I'm friends with (not some random girl I'm "stalking", or you said I'd be alone forever. Then I followed up with that.

[–]ThrowawayHamster16 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

So you threaten to rape so many people that you lose track of them all? I can see why you're really reeling in the women.