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Would going on practice dates with sympathetic women help you guys? (self.Incels)

PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel が 投稿

I'm older than many of you folks AND I'm married, but I'd be willing to offer going-on-a-date practice to an incel just so you could get experience with being alone with and having to talk to a woman one-on-one in a public setting like a restaurant. Then I'd give you some honest feedback on your social skills.

Maybe some other women here would also be up for this if some of you think it might help.

BUT, no sex or any type of physical intimacy is implied or offered. This would just be talking/socializing practice.

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[–]LibStealingSpic22/M Kissless Virgin 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sounds good, maybe you should try doing an skype date(?) or something like that.

[–]social-isolationschizotypal 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

yeah gotta help these incels get their Stacy gf while I'm thrown away like the trash I am

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[–]AutisticSubhuman23 year old rotting corpse 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

I would be down for it. However if I'm not getting action then you need to pay your way.

[–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

The date would be dutch, yes.

[–]qwerty142324, Incel 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

I would consider going on a practice date with any woman on this sub. I'm curious to see what sort of advice you might give, although I doubt that any of you would give me constructive criticism that I haven't already heard. However, if this actually happens, I will wear a mask to reduce the probability of being doxxed. Is anyone in the Midwest? Alternatively, I will be in New England and in Vancouver, BC later in the year.

[–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I doubt that any of you would give me constructive criticism that I haven't already heard.

In your case, because you have been on actual dates before, you very well may not benefit from this.

I will wear a mask to reduce the probability of being doxxed.

That would be extremely awkward, and would greatly reduce the encounter's date-like-ness, I think.

[–]qwerty142324, Incel 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, I suppose that I could get someone's honest opinion from a practice date where they wouldn't feel obligated to sugarcoat it if I was socially awkward.

[–]closetolosingitnope, already lost it 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

So that's the thing, there are various gradations of what's allowed and what isn't in a dating situation that a 'practice' date doesn't account for. An actual, good training program would be something like:

  • Stage 1: Starting off with extreme basics, like making eye contact, projecting your voice, posture, what's allowed in polite society, etc.

  • Stage 2: How to banter and be a good story teller, speaking in a respectful but authoritative manner, managing the cadence in a conversation, speaking about your good qualities without coming off as bragging, etc.

  • Stage 3: When is physical contact allowed? When is it not allowed? When do you give the okay to lean in for a kiss, a hug? Should you force it? Not force it? What are the steps to go from talking->hug->kiss? What do you look out for?

  • Stage 4: Social protocol for moving forward, like touch->kiss->sexual contact, etc.

I've skipped a lot of intermediate steps and glossed over a bunch of stuff, but that should give you a basic idea of what I mean. Dating coaches might be able to help up to 'Stage 2', but beyond that it's all trial and error. And no matter what people say there is a huge leap between Stage 2 and 3, from conversation to physical contact.

[–]Afartnose 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

There is something people tell me a lot when I am nervous in intimate/difficult social situations: "you overthink things a lot!".

I think this applies here.

If anything, the practice can reduce the stress from having to fetch constant visual and conversational queues and make you familiar with "the core process of a date". Every date is different because the person will - potentially - be different.

[–]livinginhell101 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (40子コメント)

It might help the guys who have social problems.

For some of us like myself it wouldn't do anything though.

If happy endings were legalized/encouraged for masseuses that would help a ton. Especially if they got nude while they did it. Especially if it came with cuddling. And even more especially if weed was legalized and I could be high during to make me be chill during the whole thing.

[–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (39子コメント)

If happy endings were legalized/encouraged for masseuses that would help a ton.

Yeah, it would also encourage sex trafficking.

[–]CarkudoBorschtcel 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Let's not start with that bullshit justification for those dumb moralistic bans.

[–]CarkudoBorschtcel 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

It would probably help those whose primary reason is SEVERE lack of social skills, which I would venture is pretty rare among incels. Most incels don't have trouble with social skills, or do, but it is secondary to years of loneliness and rejection, or a neurological condition such as autism.

[–]SatanTellsTheTruth 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

The latter is involved or the result of poor social skills therefore most incels have trouble with social skills.

[–]CarkudoBorschtcel 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

...what?

[–]SatanTellsTheTruth 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're saying that most incels don't have trouble with social skills but the second part of that sentence makes what you said false because having autism or experiencing loneliness/rejection gives the result of poor social social skills.

[–]vsamael4 years to KHV Wizard 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would love that opportunity, but in other hand the situation here would differ so much from real deal (lack of attraction, forced interest). So I believe it wouldn't be much of a help except regular "don't be your self " advice.

[–]UserN-me 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

Can I wear my bike helmet? Like... During the whole date? With go pro cam?

[–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

If it's a bike-centric date, sure! I like biking :) Might make conversation a bit challenging, though.

[–]UserN-me -4ポイント-3ポイント  (16子コメント)

Does this include pity sex?

[–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 7ポイント8ポイント  (15子コメント)

No, read the full post. I addressed this already:

BUT, no sex or any type of physical intimacy is implied or offered. This would just be talking/socializing practice.

[–][削除されました]  (14子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 7ポイント8ポイント  (13子コメント)

    You're affraid you might fall in love with an incel aren't you?

    You sound like a decent guy and I could see being interested in you romantically IF I WEREN'T ALREADY HAPPILY AND MONOGAMOUSLY MARRIED TO ANOTHER MAN.

    [–][削除されました]  (1子コメント)

    [removed]

      [–]azavii[M] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      and these autists

      Warning, no insulting incels.

      [–][削除されました]  (6子コメント)

      [removed]

        [–][削除されました]  (3子コメント)

        [removed]

          [–]azavii 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

          The OP is a non-incel woman. How exactly is that an "echo chamber" to you?

          [–]AmbiWalrus 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

          If you scroll down a bit you'll see that a huge amount of responses to OP were essentially saying that her help is useless and she should get over herself.

          A bunch of people get together to complain about how much life sucks. A person shows up offering help specifically for the reasons that their lives suck. She's told to gtfo and that she's part of the problem. Everyone pats each other on the back, ignoring the possible solution handed to them. No one benefits, everyone continues to wallow. A self fulfilling prophecy.

          Or an echo chamber, if you will.

          [–]azavii 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          She didn't "show up", she is an active user here like many other non-incels and non-incel women.

          If everyone is allowed to speak freely as long as they don't break the rules (no insults without content, don't generalize all incels, no trolling, etc.), it's not an echo chamber.

          [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

          I haven't given out my location or name, not yet anyway, so I think so far I'm safe.

          [–]Sir_Crimson 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Well, I'm gonna follow my own advice now. Best of luck with your shenanigans.

          [–]StAliaHarkonnen -2ポイント-1ポイント  (11子コメント)

          I'm amazed by the people who keep coming here like some saviors, totally lacking any self awareness and thinking they are the best thing that can happen to someone here. And I've only been here for like 2 days or so.

          This is such a stupid offer. I unfortunately can't speak for everyone so I'm sure you'll get some validation, but dating you sounds like all around shit experience.

          [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 7ポイント8ポイント  (10子コメント)

          This is such a stupid offer. I unfortunately can't speak for everyone so I'm sure you'll get some validation, but dating you sounds like all around shit experience.

          Well, then simple, don't take me up on it. Nobody is trying to force you. Some men have said it would help them.

          totally lacking any self awareness and thinking they are the best thing that can happen to someone here

          I'm not lacking in self-awareness. I'm a woman but I was a KHV till I was 25. My first real boyfriend and regular sex partner was an incel till he was 40 (although he had lost his virginity to a prostitute the year before). I was his first girlfriend. He has since gone on to have at least one more romantic relationship with a different woman that I am aware of.

          So yeah, I have some direct experience with incels and helping them.

          [–]isthisevenreallife1please kill me -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

          It wouldn't be the same if you knew it was a practice date. Also what you fail to understand is that social skills don't matter if you're unattractive.

          [–]advancedatheist -5ポイント-4ポイント  (2子コメント)

          I've gone on about eight dates in my life, and they were all a complete waste of time and money.

          [–]livinginhell101 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Pretty much this, perfect post btw.

          There is no dating or civilized mating anymore. You are either genetically desirable & socially functional or you are incel.

          The whole dating thing is a farce. A play people put on to pretend they aren't animals living in a cesspool. It doesn't actually determine if you're going to mate, get a relationship, or get married. Tinder proves this pretty much 100x.

          Its all looks, status, & lots of money now. Also, money doesn't actually save a beta/incel/omega these days. Money just makes you good enough for a woman to get with. After they get with you they hook you with marriage or child support then go back to their adoration/love of chads/alpha males. Or they cheat on you while spending your money. Yes, looks/genetics are that huge now.

          [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Yeah, but you're an outlier, even among incels.

          [–]throwawaymarsupials 3ポイント4ポイント  (6子コメント)

          Honestly, no. The whole time, I'd just be thinking about how much of a failure I am for even needing a "practice" date.

          [–]Big_Dirty_Piss_Boner 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

          Trying to improve on sonething and admitting lack of something is the opposite of being a failure.

          Sitting in a forum to write about being a failure, makes you a failure.

          [–]throwawaymarsupials 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          In no way did I ever claim I am not a failure.

          [–]Nightwing300 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Nothing wrong with a practise date. I've spent quite sometime practising asking a girl out with one of my friends, it helped me a lot.

          [–]RobotNormie20/M Kissless Handholdless Virgin 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

          This. Same reason I'm not paying a whore to lose my virginity

          [–]dasintia 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

          You guys are too hard on yourselves. Were yoir parents like this to you?

          [–]RobotNormie20/M Kissless Handholdless Virgin 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Not really. Though my parents annoy me often. I've just never liked myself. I wish everyone was as insecure as me.

          [–]RobotNormie20/M Kissless Handholdless Virgin 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

          No because it would just be hollow

          [–]dannymasonvirginity is my superpower 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Yes it would be very helpful.

          [–]resentfulbrotherKHV 23 2ポイント3ポイント  (37子コメント)

          I think it would help me a great deal with my social anxiety and learning how to relax around women and learn proper communication skills and social cues. I've never been on a date in my life. I'd love to go on a practice date, I think it would be really beneficial to me from the point of view of my mental health and social skills.

          And by no physical intimacy, I assume it means no hugs, handholding, or kisses on the cheek, right? Or would those be allowed?

          Also, how much would you charge? If you live in Australia and its within my affordability, I'd totally be up for it.

          [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

          If you live in Australia

          Nope, sorry, I live in the US.

          [–]the_tamed_shrewsecret SJW 6ポイント7ポイント  (8子コメント)

          Ah resentfulbrother if you ever want to talk to a girl (without any of the snark I gave you before) Im always free for a chat.

          [–]KV-n 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

          writing cant be compared to f2f meeting at fucking all.

          [–]Tottenham_555 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

          I guess not lol.

          [–]the_tamed_shrewsecret SJW 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

          hey sorry! at work, got a little busy!

          [–]Tottenham_555 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

          Would you be willing to talk to me?

          [–]RobotNormie20/M Kissless Handholdless Virgin 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

          Talking to women online is easy. You can take your time, don't have to worry about your voice, appearance, clothes, emotions etc.

          It's in real life that it goes to shit

          [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Maybe he means Skype or telephone chat.

          [–]resentfulbrotherKHV 23 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

          You gave me snark before? No offense, but I get like a tonne of hatemail in my inbox, not sure if I remember what you said. What was it? But yeah, I'd love to talk.

          [–]the_tamed_shrewsecret SJW 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

          lol I mean it wasnt really snarky, just kinda rude? i try to be a peaceful person so I felt bad :/

          but anyway, yeah if you ever want to talk about anything or you're just bored, or lonely, im always up for a chat!!!

          edit: word

          [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 4ポイント5ポイント  (26子コメント)

          And by no physical intimacy, I assume it means no hugs, handholding, or kisses on the cheek, right? Or would those be allowed?

          Hugs and maybe a cheek peck OK but not promised. Personally I would feel weird about holding hands so from me it would be a no.

          [–]resentfulbrotherKHV 23 2ポイント3ポイント  (19子コメント)

          How much would you charge?

          [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (18子コメント)

          No charge, would be for free. Maybe split the restaurant check, though.

          [–]resentfulbrotherKHV 23 5ポイント6ポイント  (17子コメント)

          You'd do that for free? That's super generous of you, what motivates you to do that? But yeah, I'd totally be willing.

          [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (14子コメント)

          what motivates you to do that?

          Because as I said before, I'm sympathetic to you guys and I want you to be able to succeed.

          [–]resentfulbrotherKHV 23 5ポイント6ポイント  (13子コメント)

          Really? That's quite nice of you. Most people round reddit seem to hate us and think we're rabbid animals, its reassuring to know there are some people out there who do have empathy and compassion towards people who are detested by others.

          Anyhow, can I take you up on your offer?

          [–]PorgiAmorWoman whose first BF was an incel[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Really? That's quite nice of you. Most people round reddit seem to hate us and think we're rabbid animals, its reassuring to know there are some people out there who do have empathy and compassion towards people who are detested by others.

          As I said further up, I was KHV till age 25, so I can relate to getting into the relationship game late and past the age everyone else is doing it.

          My first BF was an incel too, and he was 40 when we started dating. He went on to have at least one other relationship after me. So do NOT listen to those naysayers here who say it's too late for you to have these things.

          Me, I went on to get married, which I never thought I'd be able to do. Successful relationships do make life a lot better, and I am confident that many of the folks on here can and will eventually get into one.

          In your case, I do think you need to work on your mental issues, though, before being ready to take on a relationship. You need to make sure that you are emotionally stable enough to withstand rejection and possible relationship failure, that you have a source of support in place to deal with those types of challenges. Believe me, they can be very challenging, I speak from experience. Like you, I had and continue to have challenges with mental illness (am bipolar).

          [–]Dr_Benhattan 4ポイント5ポイント  (11子コメント)

          I think a lot of people would actually have empathy for the people here if they didn't immediately attack anyone that is a normie or anyone that just wants to help. I've found that a lot of the incels on here seem to be way more aggressive than any of the normies. Not to say there aren't a ton of people who come here just to talk shit, too. But it seems to go both ways.

          I felt like an incel until I was 22. I can relate and I'm sure a lot of other people can. It's just that no incel thinks anyone else can relate or has ever felt like they do.

          [–]snugglekisses 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

          It's just upsetting to be lonely for too long, and there's not a socially acceptable outlet in the real world to talk about this degree of loneliness. So you lash out when "normies" come into the one safe place you thought you had.

          [–]resentfulbrotherKHV 23 1ポイント2ポイント  (9子コメント)

          If you don't have empathy for people here then don't come here. You can't come here and intentionally provoke us and then get mad when we reply angrily.

          [–]Dr_Benhattan 1ポイント2ポイント  (8子コメント)

          Are you saying that specifically to me? If so, you must not have read my post, because I completely agree with you. I've never even provoked anyone here anyway.

          [–]StAliaHarkonnen -5ポイント-4ポイント  (1子コメント)

          She gets a great ego trip from it, that's the motivation. Don't be so naive.

          [–]KingoftheCastle94 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Your pessimistic mindset is what has brought you to this. Stop thinking everyone has an agenda to humiliate you or further their own gain.