They say marriage is forever – till death do you part, in fact – but if recent statistics are anything to go by, that sentiment is becoming less true.
Now, the campaign SA Marriage Week has sounded a clarion call to protect the institution of marriage. Citing a worrying statistic released by Stats SA last year, the campaign says there has been a 5% increase in divorces in the country since 2015.
Rene Basson, managing organiser of SA Marriage Week, says people are less willing to work on their marriages, choosing instead to head for the divorce courts.
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“The biggest reason for divorce is communication, whether it’s miscommunication or non-communication – that is the number one leading course of divorce,” she explains.
Basson says every marriage will experience some difficulties, yet these days, people are choosing to split rather than work on their relationships.
“Every marriage is going to have its problems, but people don’t want to work through that. They think the easy way out is divorce, and it isn’t, because divorce is a lose-lose for everyone,” she says.
Instead of seeing marriage as a bed of roses, SA Marriage Week believes that marriage has many benefits, but that it takes work.
“Perseverance is one of the most important factors in preserving a marriage. If a couple decides from the start that divorce isn’t an option, then any hurdle will be seen for what it is: a temporary obstacle,” the campaign said in a statement released on the eve of Marriage Week which runs from 1 to 7 September.
According to statistics, says Basson, when you’re married, you’re healthier and feel happier. “People tend to get fewer heart attacks because they are happier,” she says.
An increasing number of young people are deciding that marriage isn’t for them. A piece in the Washington Post lists several reasons why millennials, people between 19 and 35, are less reluctant to get hitched. Reasons range from it being tough economic times to dating apps and the fact that women are more able to delay having children.
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According to author Gabriela Barkho, when people feel uncertain about their finances, they’re less inclined to tie the knot. Coupled with the fact that more women no longer need to get married for financial stability, it isn’t difficult to understand why the allure of the institution is slowly fading.
Basson says the other reason people choose not to get married is that they fear commitment.
“People would rather live together, because when you commit to marriage it’s far more difficult to get out. You can’t move out to get rid of your problems,” she says.
She adds that divorce is a painful period that also affects the children, who battle at school and face a less successful future than their peers.
Additional source: The Washington Post