Well another year has come and gone. I generally view the end of August as my year marker for The Rational Male. I didn’t add a page for year 4 since I’m not sure I want to clutter up the top of my blog layout with links pages, but I may yet combine the best of years 4 and 5 into one page.
A lot has happened in this span, I began the Red Pill Monthly talks with Niko Chosky. I still think I sound like a nasally teenager when I hear my voice, but the feedback has been nothing short of amazing on these so I believe we’ll continue with them for the foreseeable future.
Right after my year 4 best-of I did my first liv appearance in Vegas with Christian, Goldmund and Tanner Guzy at The Man in Demand Conference. I’ve discussed doing another one with Christian McQueen and we’re looking into venues for 2017. This was just an overwhelming experience to meet up with my readers in person, do the talk and have dinner at Sinatra’s. This was the first time for me to do an on premise event and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a nervous wreck the night before, but every guy in attendance just impressed me to no end and the whole thing was something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
I went through the process of having the audio mastered (courtesy of Sam Botta) to make it available via DigiRAMP for anyone to get a hold of now too.
Probably the biggest TRM news of 2016 was the release of the audio book of The Rational Male. It was a long time coming, but I think well worth the wait. I’ve come to believe that a book needs a time to mature into what its overall reception will be. The Rational Male book continues to sell very well and my focus has always been on emphasizing the printed book above all else since I feel that medium is the best to spark discussions and pass along to men who need it at the right time. That said, Sam Botta convinced me that men listen to books more than they read them so I thought the time was right and he’d just gotten back in the saddle so to speak after his debilitation in a hit & run car incident.
The book has exceeded any expectation I ever had for it and I still receive emails and tweets about how it’s changed men’s lives in the best possible way. The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine is also doing far better than I’d hoped if not eclipsing the first book. Sam and I are now in the process of doing the audio for TRMPM and I expect it will go live in early 2017.
The blog traffic continues to grow too.
As most readers know, I do very little self-promotion for TRM and I only advertise the book on the TRP reddit forum and posting occasional Amazon reviews on Twitter. I always want the the message of this blog and my work to be relayed by the men who read and contribute to it. I’m a believer in the bottom up plan for improving men’s lives and ultimately the social order we find ourselves. I’m glad to see men passing on what they learn here. I’m happy to be able to focus on my ideas and have men spread the word for me.
I’ve done art direction and brand management for over two decades now. It’s what I do for a living so it wouldn’t be a stretch for me to convert TRM into a similar commercial success, but that’s never been my goal. From the outset I wanted to just do what I do and talk about the ideas I’ve come to or the dots I’ve connected. That isn’t to say I don’t appreciate making a little money from it, but I’ll never compromise my message to sell more books or start a Patreon site.
I’ve had guys tell me I should quit my day job and write full time, but I’ve never really needed to be an author for my livelihood. I do quite well for myself and not being beholden to being an official author allows me the freedom to do what I do without the concern of having to write ‘for’ anyone. I know there are guys whose schtick is to treat their writing like a product and they tell you to write for what your audience wants to read, but I think this inherently compromises the authenticity of the real message.
My goal isn’t to sell books, it’s to genuinely change men’s lives for the better with the tools and truths I present in my work. The Rational Male isn’t a ‘product’ for salesmen to sell, it’s a collection of ideas that, really, we’re all responsible for authorship of. Ideas are a hard thing to suppress, and they last far longer than the men who conceived them.
Honestly, when I started this blog back in 2011 I never imagined it would grow into what it’s become today. I have some plans now to do a site redesign. I’ve never really focused on the look of the blog, I just poured myself into its content, but I think after 5 years I’ll freshen the look up soon. I’m also in the middle of the first round of edits for my third book, the working title being The Rational Male, The Red Pill. That may change, but the primary focus will be on defining what the Red Pill is from an intersexual dynamics perspective. As a matter of policy I generally refrain from being too prescriptive for individual men to apply their Red Pill awareness, but in the new book I’ll break this rule and provide some generally applicable ways to live in a Red Pill paradigm.
Red Pill parenting and family interactions in a feminine-primary social order will feature prominently. Yes, it will include selections from the blog again, but with each I’ve added what I believe are general solutions to Red Pill problems, plus more new content.
Well, that’s it. I continue to be humbled by the response and reception of The Rational Male and I want to extend my true gratitude for everyone’s input, participation, reading my ideas and helping me do what I do – even the critics and detractors make me a better Red Pill author. So here’s what I thought represents the best posts from year 5.
Let me know what your favorites were in the comments and let me know how TRM has helped you as well.
With much gratitude,
Rollo Tomassi
Interviews
A Man in Demand Radio – Talk 3
The Feminine Imperative
Parenting
Red Pill / Game
The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies
Positive Masculinity
Hypergamy
Social
September 5th, 2016 at 9:32 pm
[…] The Best Of The Rational Male – Year 5 […]
September 5th, 2016 at 9:39 pm
“I know there are guys whose schtick is to treat their writing like a product and they tell you to write for what your audience wants to read, but I think this inherently compromises the authenticity of the real message.”
An experience I’ve gone through on YT a number of times:
I find a channel I like. Somebody talking about things that they’re itching to talk about and I find their point of view interesting – and that’s what I’m looking for. People saying things that are important to them, even things that I may disagree with.
And it goes on like that for a while, they start attracting a subscriber base, and then one day they want to have The Talk:
“Hey guys, it’s like totally awesome that you dig me and shit. I never thought my channel would get this sort of attention, so now I’d like to grow it and make it even better, and to do that I want you to tell what YOU want me to talk about.
At that point I know the channel is about to go dead for me.
September 6th, 2016 at 12:59 am
” and to do that I want you to tell what YOU want me to talk about.”
men never stop finding ways to cut off their own balls
respect and freedom of speech are way more important than agreement
ever since I first heard ben fold five band music I hated it. really hated it.
then I heard way to normal. to this day I still play the whole thing through at least thgree times before I move on. brilliant. focused. layered.
then I heard lonely avenue. might be better than way to normal. hard to say. hornby is gifted
it’s kind of a weird thing when two albums I listen to all the fucking time are from an artist that wouldn’t appear anywhere close to the top of my favorites list and who I can’t stand to see live
from what I can tell, ben doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. he does what gets him off. sometimes it’s going to resonate with a crowd, sometimes not, but the point is he doesn’t give a fuck because it resonates with him at that moment in time
if a featured performer/man is asking the crowd/woman what they want to hear it’s already over
I don’t want to go to the show and have to write the setlist as well. I want the band to hit the stage and rip my face off, not ask me how I’m feeling or what I want to hear. just fukcing play and play well
I imagine this is how women feel all the time. they just want to be swept away. no planning, no puppet strings, no fourth wall breaks. just the suspension of disbelief at the hand of a competent guide
“I’ve never really focused on the look of the blog, I just poured myself into its content, but I think after 5 years I’ll freshen the look up soon.”
it’s usually bad news when a product on the shelf says, “new look, same great product”
the problem isn’t with the manufacturer or the product formula. chances are everything is going great on their end.
the problem is with the end user. for some reason they have become desensitized or bored with the product even though it’s properly formulated and works perfectly
so the hope is that some bright new packaging and a shelf reset will revitalize interest.
lol.
I would drink montrachet if it came in shit brown aluminum cans labeled “homeless shelter garbage water”
packaging is ultimately useless outside of it’s ability to deliver the product in good working order.
a man will wade through hundreds of shitty looking websites to find the info he’s looking for and when he finds it, he won’t give a shit if the font is pink on a background photo of purple ponies frolicking in a dewey meadow
all that matters is the authenticity of the information
that Rollo is looking at packaging instead of content should be a clear sign that most men have no interst in the red pill. why that should be the case is a total mindfuck
September 6th, 2016 at 2:24 am
Keep up the excellent work!
You certainly have helped change my perspective on many things. Thanks!
September 6th, 2016 at 3:04 am
Congratz for year five and muchos gracias Sir!
September 6th, 2016 at 3:32 am
Thank you for everything Rollo.
While I appreciate the advice for older guys with families, it’d be cool to see some advice aimed at guys in the middle period of mid to late 20’s to 30’s when a man’s friends are settling down left right and center and the pressure to conform becomes hardest…
Becoming the “enemy” in all of your friends girlfriend’s eyes, friends buying houses and focusing on their spouses, sometimes make you question the life choices. Developing hobbies and establishing and maintaining a male tribe or fraternity in the face of feminine resistance, moving to where the action is, living life to the fullest in a Red Pill way – perhaps if things in the first part of life didn’t exactly go to plan, would be cool to see. I understand that you don’t prescribe specifics and every man is different, but touching on this age group if you’re also going to focus on older, family aged men would be cool.
September 6th, 2016 at 3:40 am
Hey Rollo, your blog and books are a game changer in my life. I’m excited to hear about the parenting aspects the blog topics may be going towards.
September 6th, 2016 at 4:30 am
A big congrats on year five and also on being able to do this in addition to family and career. Your dedication, heart, and analysis is a beacon of light in a muddled world.
And also a big thanks to the many commenters that contribute positively to this blog.
It goes without saying but it’s always nice to say, that this blog has changed my life for the positive.
September 6th, 2016 at 5:00 am
Thanks for changing my life!
September 6th, 2016 at 5:26 am
Rollo,
Thank you for what you’ve done. If you had done nothing beyond writing The Rational Male, you would have already made more of a contribution to the cause of male freedom than anyone else. I’m rereading it constantly, and it has restored my life and my sanity. My life is so much richer for the clarity of your book, and the practical ideas that they suggest.
I’m an older guy (nearly 60), but I’ve managed to find the strength to leave a loveless marriage and strike out on my own, terrified but determined – – and significantly financially damaged. It’s been a rough couple years, but I’m now a stronger, smarter, more “centered” man – – and person – – for it. Your book literally helped me change myself from a drone trapped into a life of “obligation” to serve others as a slave to their unreasonable demands, into a fully free man with a meaningful life centered around things that truly matter to me. My relationships are fewer but deeper and more meaningful. The divorce was difficult and costly, but it was – and remains – work every penny.
I owe you a debt of gratitude that I can never repay. Thank you.
September 6th, 2016 at 6:00 am
@Ergo. I lost a lot on my divorce (~20 years ago), but as my father told me happiness and peace of mind are priceless. I left with no alimony, no loss of retirement, no CS (0 kids), but lost the house and a car. I gained so much more afterwards. I feel your freedom and happiness brother.
September 6th, 2016 at 6:08 am
@KFG, Fleezer
What, exactly, are you trying to say? That Rollo has jumped the shark because he has asked what were guy’s favourite posts and how TRM has helped? Hardly the same as saying “so..
whaddaya youse wanna talk about?”. As to content, there probably is a logical limit as to the practical number of common situations where underlying RP theory may be applied. There’s probably some scope to explore RP in relationships between men, and in employment.
On the other hand, Rollo isn’t doing this for his own edification. He isn’t doing this in a vacuum. If he wants to help a lot of men, he’s going to have to address what concerns those men.
@Rollo et al
The “Losing my Religion” post has been somewhat challenging, particularly given my own upbringing. I’ve been reading TRM for 18 months or so. It certainly hasn’t “solved” my problems, but it has gone a very, very long way to giving me the necessary tools to do so, and most importantly, the requisite mindset.
Thanks, Rollo, I appreciate your work.
September 6th, 2016 at 6:16 am
“What, exactly, are you trying to say? That Rollo has jumped the shark because he has asked what were guy’s favourite posts and how TRM has helped?”
No. I was agreeing with him, and quoted the bit I agreed with before expressing my agreement.
September 6th, 2016 at 6:25 am
50 yr old divorced father of 14 yr old twin boys. I came into RP about 5 yrs ago after a few failed attempts at dating. Low point was being rejected a 47 yr old overweight single mom with teenage kids. I’m so glad that didn’t work out now!
Best part for me is being able to look back on my mistakes and CLEARLY see where I screwed up, and to look at my friends’ failing marriages and see what they’re doing wrong too.
Not sure if I’ll ever want another relationship but it’s nice knowing what to do right so my options will always be open.
September 6th, 2016 at 6:36 am
Massive Props.
Keep fighting the good fight Rollo (and everyone else)
September 6th, 2016 at 7:24 am
All I want to do is change a WordPress theme. 😒
September 6th, 2016 at 7:33 am
“All I want to do is change a WordPress theme”
How about all comments on one page and nested comments? Big time saver…
September 6th, 2016 at 8:15 am
Keep up the good work. After bouncing around the dating scene for the last number of months, I did a quick reread of some important sections of the Rational Male to be better armed.
I just had a woman try to lock me into exclusivity under her frame and her terms. She wanted me to make her the purpose of my life. She wanted me to spend most of my free time with her. She claimed to have no other boyfriends, and she wanted me to give up my other girlfriends. When I refused to be exclusive, she dropped me. Following Rational Male advice, I simply let her go, with the view that if she comes back, it’s under my frame and my terms. Or she is gone forever and therefore not worth my time since she didn’t have 100% interest level in me.
Without the Rational Male advice, back in my old beta days, I would have been compromising myself all over the place to win her back.
September 6th, 2016 at 8:15 am
The Losing My Religion post was easily the best of 2016. Especially with Ya Really trying to convince the older men around here that having an alpha frame is not enough to keep an under age 25 girl HB 7+ loyal with all that exposure she has had to social media- FB,twitter,Linked-in,Tinder etc.
September 6th, 2016 at 8:27 am
Rollo when I build my family ifs it’s ok with you. To be placed as the godfather.
September 6th, 2016 at 9:44 am
@Ergo Slug – FUCKING THIS! “Your book literally helped me change myself from a drone trapped into a life of “obligation” to serve others as a slave to their unreasonable demands, into a fully free man with a meaningful life centered around things that truly matter to me.”
I wonder why guys here never respond to my commentary on “eusociality” and group selection? Socializing men to value themselves based on service to the collective and/or to women and family is a crucial aspect of modern human society. But it has a devastating psycho-social cost on the men who put that bit in their mouths.
In my case, such a desire was put on steroids by two factors. First, my own family of origin was such a nightmare, and as a result I desperately wanted to build a healthy, whole family. Second, it made me seek validation from others versus myself to value myself. Work, family, country, other obligations – my sense of myself was always attached to how I served those institutions. I always felt like I had to “earn it” – everywhere and all the time.
Perhaps making men into service animals is good for humanity, but it sure as shit wasn’t good for me. I literally fucked up my entire life due to this wrongheaded orientation cuz i was always in conflict with myself. And I couldn’t make sense of it either. Unwinding such a basic, internalized view is hard and it’s not obvious that it’s a problem when you are in it.
You younger guys, this is what some of us old guys are trying to say to you about marriage etc. Are you really doing it cuz it’s WHAT YOU WANT? Or do you believe way deep down inside that you are “doing the right thing”? And that you will be respected and rewarded and valued for doing the right thing? If so, get that nobody will appreciate your sacrifices. In fact, many of those you serve will laugh at you and treat you like you are pathetic for putting yourself last. Society thinks you are a fucking joke in general.
If you want to get married because it’s something you want, emanating from your own MPO, then fine. But I suspect many of you young guys are still programmed at a basic level to be chivalrous and have romantic notions about marriage and women. Until you scrape that shit off, and run your life for your own purposes for a while – and bang some hotties along the way who will fuck you like a porn star cuz you aren’t their subjugated tool – you don’t know shit. And should stay away from marriage.
I’m not bitter, I’m smarter…And remember, marrying badly is the single biggest thing you can do to fuck up your life. Not marrying any particular women is unlikely to fuck up your life. Just think about that – particularly you @Southern Dude!!!!
September 6th, 2016 at 9:53 am
@ Rollo
Excited about the new book, and also very glad to be a part of this community.
I’m really glad to hear your take on writing, too, as a fellow (closet) writer myself. I won’t get into that except to say I’m 100% on board with your take on authenticity and the importance of not diluting or compromising anything in exchange for some paltry ego gratification.
Which, by the way, I also see as a definition of Beta. Seeing other RP bloggers go Purple Pill made me lose just about every ounce of respect I previously had for them….definitely a sad and pathetic state of affairs, and a huge Beta Tell on their part.
September 6th, 2016 at 10:01 am
@ scrib
Right on. I would’ve been completely opposed to that advice before TRM, because of the White Knight brainwashing. I swallowed Beta Game hook, line, and sinker, and would’ve tried to throw you under the bus in hopes that some random Internet chick would notice me and want to bang me for being so noble.
That is UTTER INSANITY that I’m beyond elated to have moved beyond.
And now the initial anger, rage, depression and hatred I had when I first found TRM years ago is just about dissipated.
I was an extremely bitter, hateful, resentful guy when I first found TRM. And I did not like what I read. A lot of it was very hard to process.
And a lot of it still is, but I’m much more at peace with it all now. Even if I’m still not doing everything my gut instincts are telling me to do, I can at least take responsibility for it and not send myself to an early grave by getting pissed off and upset about it all the time, or expecting anything to change without me doing anything.
But yeah. Once you’re making your way to the other side, seeing where you used to be is crazy. I can’t believe I was who I was all those years ago. Once you read TRM and get that stuff in your head, there’s no going back.
The bright side is that it is, unequivocally, for the better. There is no way in hell I’d want to go back to where I was 10 years ago, unless it meant I could apply all the RP knowledge I have now.
September 6th, 2016 at 10:20 am
Before I even embark on reading the post…first…and always…May we all raise a glass….To Rollo!!!
Eternal gratitude brother.👍👊✊