I'm a pretty stereotypical "nerd". I'm very introverted, love video games, metal, and movies before sports and bar hopping, and even land on the autism spectrum. However, unlike most nerds, I actually hate women. I do not like them, and would probably have no interest in them if I weren't sexually and romantically attracted to them. And this dichotomy is really tearing me up inside.
I know people will be very angry at me, and even accuse me of being a troll. But I never wanted myself to be this way. Nobody grows up thinking "Boy, I sure would love to hate women when I'm 22!" But for about a year now, I've been losing my patience in trying to find common ground. It's very hard to find women who have the same interests as I do, especially attractive ones. I can barely talk to many of them beyond small talk, and many actively disgust me with their pettiness.
But what really makes me dislike women is that none of them seemed to have cared about me beyond my immediate family. In my entire life, I have received absolutely zero comments from other women about my attractiveness. I'm not a pound overweight and take care of myself, yet it seems like there is nothing I can do to get the other sex interested in me. I'd be happy with even one or two, but I never even got that.
What's truly hurtful is that women have shown no kindness to me beyond basic respect. I distinctively recall two moments with female friends and acquaintances. One was with a girl where we shared an obscure anime interest. I thought we were close, but when I had a breakdown and asked for help, she pretty much ignored me and told me to see a psychologist (which has never worked for me). With another girl, we were talking about self-harm and I mentioned I tried a few times when I was younger. She immediately told me I was being an attention whore. I feel like vulnerability is a requirement for relationships with me, and every time I open myself up to a girl, even as a friend, it blows up in my face.
I feel I have no use for women other than as a sexual/romantic outlet. Maybe one day, when I conquer my fears and become successful, I can be attractive to a woman. But such a person would only be seen as an object in my eyes, since they were never there for me when I needed them most. I hate judging large groups of people, but being kind and fair to them has literally brought me nothing to my life, not just no romance, but no connection whatsoever.
Is there a flaw in my logic? I know people will say "not all women are like that!" But I don't believe that life was created with any sense of fairness. If women only respect men with an abundance of resources, status, or confidence, then that's just the reality I will deal with. Likewise, I do believe that men give more respect to pretty woman, and would probably hate men if I were an ugly, romanceless girl. But that's not the current situation. Thanks for any genuine advice.
tl;dr: Do not like women in any way beyond sex and romance. Might stem from lack of attention and constant poor experiences. Is there any way to recover my view of them?