Wife had an affair, she's now pregnant

[benjamin]

Wife had an affair, she's now pregnant

I guess I’m looking for advice just as much as a chance to vent. Sorry if this isn’t the place for that. My wife and I have been married for two years, together for four. I work on a river barge, so I spend about a month away from home at a time for work followed by two weeks off. I’ve been doing this for the last year since I got laid off from my other job. I just got back from a job, and found out that my wife has been having an affair with an old boyfriend that recently came back to town...

I stayed at a friend’s place for a few days and thought it over. First, I talked to our priest. He reminded me what I signed up for and believed in. Marriage is a forever commitment, and that means being able to forgive and work past problems. He recommended that for now I find work closer to home so I can be with my wife and that we seek marriage counseling either through the church or with a therapist....

Two weeks later, we find out she’s pregnant. Obviously, the other guy is the father. I’m the only person she has told so far. Being religious, abortion, off the bat, was off the table for us. I told her that I want her to put the baby up for adoption. I’m willing to forgive her and repair our marriage, and I can look past an awful lot...

She wants to keep the baby. She says that the other guy never has to know about it and that she understands that our marriage can not survive with him in our lives. But her opinion is that it isn’t the baby’s fault. The baby didn’t ask to be born out of an adulterous relationship. And that we would be unnecessarily causing the baby to suffer by putting it up for adoption. She also says that the baby is part of her, and that she would like me to be able to love and accept the child as a part of her instead of the other man...

But I can’t do it. I really don’t know what else to say.

If he didn't find out she is a cheater, she would have attempted to pass the child as his own. Even thinking about being cuckolded gets my blood boiling, and some sleepless nights. Deep at his primal level he knows this is wrong, and should ditch the bitch there and then, but lie-long blue-pill programing runs deep too. Fortunately for him, he got right replies and have provided an update that shows he got some galls to act.

[TDG]

But I can’t do it. I really don’t know what else to say.

Nothing. You've realised that you got shafted up the arse and you want it to stop.

And fuck the priest.

There's a special place in hell for cunts like him.

[MrPolityczny]

There's a special place in hell for cunts like him.

I do not believe in hell but it does exists I am sure he will end in the same tar boiler as his cheating wife... forever

Edit:
After rethinking this I came to conclusion that tar boiler will be pointless

Second edit:

I was to quick to post without fully understand context. And of course priest is not proper person to help in situation like this... he needs a lawyer.

[Pointerman]

Simply still amazes me that someone has to ask what to do in a situation like this.

But a simp is gonna simp.

[Sam I Am]

But I can’t do it. I really don’t know what else to say.

Nothing. You've realised that you got shafted up the arse and you want it to stop.

And fuck the priest.

There's a special place in hell for cunts like him.

man, what the fuck you expect the priest to say? of course he has to say that if, being a man, he has the power of his convictions and belief in what he's preaching from the ambo every day.

if the husband wants to forgive, and the only way to do that is for the baby to be adopted, then i guess that's on him, no matter what we all think. nothing's going to change if he keeps that job, except for the fact that she'd be more careful with it next time. BUT... even if he "forgives" her, the next time they ATTEMPT to have sex, he's gonna be thinking about that other's guy's crank getting shoved up in her hole. Eventually, he'll get sick of it and file for divorce anyway (side note: i haven't read the update at the link).

if she refused to give up the baby ---- and her thinking that the baby is gonna have some horrible life is just pure woman emotional kneejerk horseshit --- then fuck that noise. DTB and be done with it. These days, getting an annulment from the Catholic Church is easier than waking up in the morning.

All that said, if it were me, I'd have already filed for divorce. ... well, actually, I'd pretend to be trying to make amends while I got ALLLLL the paperwork and financial situation in order and THEN file for divorce. One day/weekend when she's gone, I'd have all my shit packed and be on the road headed to destination unknown...

[Beef Supreme]

She also says that the baby is part of her, and that she would like me to be able to love and accept the child as a part of her instead of the other man...

I bet she went to the bathroom to masturbate after telling him that. I'm sure she at least had to wring out her panties in the sink. If you get the beta bucks to accept alpha fucks that's triple points, the ultimate fantasy. A real man to satisfy her craving for alpha cock and a chump servant to pay the bills. Beta males are an important part of the fantasy. They want to see the alpha put us in our place. It's like one of those 3D posters from the nineties, you stare at it and stare at it, but once you see it, you can't unsee it. You'll always see the T. rex and you'll always see alpha fucks/beta bucks.

[Demosthenes]

His 'commitment' runs deeper than hers, but we already knew that.

He needs to end this shit.

Staying with someone 'no matter what' is not the answer. He doesn't have to just accept this bullshit. She already broke her vows. For better or for worse does not include 'you get to fuck around and I get to work through it with you'.

All of those vows are meaningless anyway…

Modern marriage is based on cupcake being not bored and not unhappy. The moment either of those two happen, she can say 'marriage over, now give me shit'. That's not marriage.

Marriage is now just a piss poor reality tv show with cupcake as 'the star'. When she gets tired of the show, she can turn the channel without guilt and still gets to punish the rest of the cast even as she's already canceled the show.

My viewpoint - sincerely not looking to upset the more religious minded folks:

The 'church' is only involved with marriage because the state allows it anyway. The state uses the church, in this case, to manage religion amongst the people via a secular tool of manipulation and control (of people in general, but especially of men). The marriage license and the 'contract' (that no one can read) all reside with the state (divorce law, family law, etc.)

It's not the church that sanctions your marriage. Ultimately, it's the state approving marriage with a license. Marriage is a personal business arrangement with many of these 'businesses' (read 'marriages) being officiated by the the religious sector (the clergy, the church, etc.)

Marriage is a tool of the state. Marriage can therefore be exited without any religious issues because secular marriage is not religious marriage no matter how much religious emphasis and preference the people involved place upon it.

When you marry, cupcake gets two husbands, and one of those will make the other one pay for being stupid enough to enter into the marriage 'contract'.

Don't be the one paying. Don't make the mistake and have to pay for it.

[ManWithAPlan]

EDIT 2 (Update): I've spoken to a good friend and attorney about it this morning, and he has offered to represent me and work with me on cost. I've decided to move forward with initiating divorce. As I've said, I have forgiven her what she did. But I've also realized that forgiveness doesn't mean that it would be healthy for either of us to remain in the marriage. I can't raise this child. I don't blame the child, but I know that I would resent it every day. Even if my wife agreed to adoption, I know that she would resent me for pressuring her to do it. The fact is, she has made her choice emotionally. We both know what she wants the outcome to be, and the best thing I can do for both of us in the long term is to stick to my guns. If I'm able to get an annulment through the church, fantastic. If not, so be it. I've got a hard time believing that God will not forgive me for this. For now, my attorney has advised me not to tell my wife and instead to collect all evidence I have of the affair first. I'd like to believe that my wife wouldn't try to destroy the evidence, but given what has happened and what is at stake, I'm not going to take the chance. I'll speak to her some time this week, and will ask her to leave.

Well at least it looks like it ended well.

[Morgu]

As I've said, I have forgiven her what she did.

Never forgive. Never forget.

--Morgu

[womanhater]

But I can’t do it. I really don’t know what else to say.

Nothing. You've realised that you got shafted up the arse and you want it to stop.

And fuck the priest.

There's a special place in hell for cunts like him.

man, what the fuck you expect the priest to say? of course he has to say that if, being a man, he has the power of his convictions and belief in what he's preaching from the ambo every day.

if the husband wants to forgive, and the only way to do that is for the baby to be adopted, then i guess that's on him, no matter what we all think. nothing's going to change if he keeps that job, except for the fact that she'd be more careful with it next time. BUT... even if he "forgives" her, the next time they ATTEMPT to have sex, he's gonna be thinking about that other's guy's crank getting shoved up in her hole. Eventually, he'll get sick of it and file for divorce anyway (side note: i haven't read the update at the link).

if she refused to give up the baby ---- and her thinking that the baby is gonna have some horrible life is just pure woman emotional kneejerk horseshit --- then fuck that noise. DTB and be done with it. These days, getting an annulment from the Catholic Church is easier than waking up in the morning.

All that said, if it were me, I'd have already filed for divorce. ... well, actually, I'd pretend to be trying to make amends while I got ALLLLL the paperwork and financial situation in order and THEN file for divorce. One day/weekend when she's gone, I'd have all my shit packed and be on the road headed to destination unknown...

True...but fornication/adultery was the express get out of marriage free card.

[trajan]

my attorney has advised me not to tell my wife and instead to collect all evidence I have of the affair first

It's pretty bad that, when some other dude's DNA is gestating inside your wife, you still have to "collect evidence" of her infidelity.

[fairi5fair]

If he's in California, it's legally his kid.

[K-Dog]

The bint told her husband: "And that we would be unnecessarily causing the baby to suffer by putting it up for adoption."

Single mothers use this same "reasoning"—"adoption is [somehow, never explained] cruel to the baby"—for wanting to keep their crotchspawn, even as adoption agencies face shortages of healthy infants. The reality is that potential adoptive parents are extensively vetted and de facto licensed, and I have long thought natural parents need to go through some similar process.

The explanations that seem to fit these women's "reasoning" are a combination of these: (1) natural mother's attachment to the baby, even when that's irrational, as here; (2) desire for cash and prizes; (3) desire for attention; (4) intention to weasel out of normal work by playing the mommy card; (5) desire to manipulate or torture bio-dad or some substitute "dad".

The baby wouldn't suffer by giving it for adoption. Bint would, though, because she was caught being a ho and still wants to keep the proof of cuckolding to torture her husband.

[Alistair]

lie-long blue-pill programming runs deep too

Hmmm.

Not so sure about that. There are no decisions to make in this case. You either kick her out the door or eject. If "eject" means "emigrate" then so be it. There is no deal, no compromise, to be made.

Even thinking about being cuckolded gets my blood boiling, and some sleepless nights

Me too.

Or at least it did before MGTOW found me.

Now, I couldn't give a toss! (Hope those lurkers are still with us!)

[Self sufficient]

Same old story.
Women creates a headache/nightmare/problem by HER actions and expects husband to overlook/fix the problem.
Bloke has to consider himself lucky that he's not in too deep with his own children to her.
He's young,so there shouldn't be too many assets to lose.
Just GTF,count your blessings and learn from the experience.

[womanhater]

I wonder if she'd be agreeable to letting hubby knock up another woman and then have her love the half of that kid that was his?

[DrunkenMaster]

While I agree it isn't the child's fault the child is still not the husband's responsibility . Better to get out than deal with the nitemares .

[ubermensch]

I've said it before. I'll say it again.

Don't marry. Don't cohabitate. Don't have children.

Each of these things are traps and snares set by society and the government to enslave men.

Back in the Old Testament times, that shoddy priest would've dug the pit himself for the filthy adulterous whore.

[TDG]

man, what the fuck you expect the priest to say? of course he has to say that if, being a man, he has the power of his convictions and belief in what he's preaching from the ambo every day.

No, I expected the priest to say this but I'll be damned if someone is going to piss on my back and tell me that it's raining.

It also takes two to make a marriage. She took whatever vows they had between them and flushed them down the shitter when she jumped on Chad's dick.

My conviction is that if one person reneges on their part of the contract, then I will renege on mine and I'll be god damn pissed if someone is telling me to just 'get over it'.

His soon to be ex wife is a cheating fuckin' whore and should be treat at such.

I'm glad the guy in the OP sees that and is trying to get out of the mess she created with as many clothes on his back as possible.

I also know a few members here are religious and my tirade is not aimed at any of you members, but I have a hatred for the RC church that runs very, very deep.

[EddieS]

Note. All of this guys problems come after the word "wife"

Its not a coincidence.


Don't be making that mistake lurkers.

[Notorious GIT]

Here we see clearly illustrated one of the reasons we invented god and religion. Funny how this illustrates both how religion is necessary for society, and also how society and participation in it is like a larger scale marriage: just as shitty for a man.

[Primus_Pilus]

Wife had an affair, she's now pregnant

The sad part? Even if beta boy grabs cock and tends to purpose and leaves her ass she can (and will) still turn the wheels of the legal system against Chad Thundercock to collect cash and prizes from him.

[Sam I Am]

man, what the fuck you expect the priest to say? of course he has to say that if, being a man, he has the power of his convictions and belief in what he's preaching from the ambo every day.

if the husband wants to forgive, and the only way to do that is for the baby to be adopted, then i guess that's on him, no matter what we all think. nothing's going to change if he keeps that job, except for the fact that she'd be more careful with it next time. BUT... even if he "forgives" her, the next time they ATTEMPT to have sex, he's gonna be thinking about that other's guy's crank getting shoved up in her hole. Eventually, he'll get sick of it and file for divorce anyway (side note: i haven't read the update at the link).

if she refused to give up the baby ---- and her thinking that the baby is gonna have some horrible life is just pure woman emotional kneejerk horseshit --- then fuck that noise. DTB and be done with it. These days, getting an annulment from the Catholic Church is easier than waking up in the morning.

All that said, if it were me, I'd have already filed for divorce. ... well, actually, I'd pretend to be trying to make amends while I got ALLLLL the paperwork and financial situation in order and THEN file for divorce. One day/weekend when she's gone, I'd have all my shit packed and be on the road headed to destination unknown...

True...but fornication/adultery was the express get out of marriage free card.

Without really wanting to get into a discussion on it, I think it's really not quite as simple as the plain language states... the idea being that divorce really isn't (wasn't) permitted, but oh golly, if you really want a divorce, then one or both of you just go right out there and fuck somebody else in order to force the issue.

It's a bit ironic that only Matthew contains the exception clause for 'adultery' ... and even then, I'm not familiar with whatever Greek word he used, but it's possible, given all the different translations out there (I don't have a douay-rheims immediately handy either), that the word he used isn't really "adultery"... or "fornication"... could be something else. I dunno. Anyway, my point is that I think when people say that "bible says adultery makes divorce legit" -- which for certain a lot of protestants use -- it's really not as simple as that. For certes, adultery doesn't invalidate a marriage, nor is it an immediate indicator of malformed intent to contract a valid marriage (for lurkers: adultery doesn't mean the church will automatically find the marriage null... although in practice these days, it's pretty much guaranteed).

..but i'm not wanting to really get into this, and i'm really not trying to complicate the issue by talking about divorce vs. annulment either.

i'll still say this: i'd still divorce the bitch.

[TDG]

..but i'm not wanting to really get into this, and i'm really not trying to complicate the issue by talking about divorce vs. annulment either.

i'll still say this: i'd still divorce the bitch.

Haha, yeah!

As it stands, discussing the biblical sense of marriage is merely just a thought exercise whilst .gov has it's tentacles in the marriage of business itself.

[Slade]

It's a bit ironic that only Matthew contains the exception clause for 'adultery' ... and even then, I'm not familiar with whatever Greek word he used, but it's possible, given all the different translations out there (I don't have a douay-rheims immediately handy either), that the word he used isn't really "adultery"... or "fornication"... could be something else. .

The word in Greek is porneia. It is often translated it as "adultery" for "reasons", though older translations used the word "indecency". It was interpreted in the past to mean a sham or invalid marriage (hence indecency because you were living in sin)