I already know how the marriage gambit ends from reading/hearing/observing the world all around me. I know all the worst realities and best promised rewards. They are terrifying and they are supremely tempting.

But what of that existence is left to explore? A coin flip to decide which ending I will get?

What alternate ends remain to be discovered? A middling ground between best marriage & family/worst marriage & family?

I want to stare down existence, eternity, the evolutionary imperative to reproduce. And not blink. It's not that I think I'm a special snowflake. I'm just a regular human, and I want to take this philosophical concept of mind-over-instinct to whatever end may come and discover what meaning, if any, there can be for a regular human to find outside of spreading my genetic make up. I want to step outside of the boundaries setup for me by millennia of natural selection and social construction and never look back. Or if looking is unavoidable, at least never return but continue towards whatever I will find.

Wonder what I'll find....