How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones

These days, many women walk around playing with a smartphone or tablet device and are often wearing headphones and listening to music at the same time.

Yet, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them.

Of course, not all women are open to being approached because not all women are single and looking.

However, if a woman wearing headphones is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover), she will usually be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her.

Her taking off her headphones doesn’t always mean that she is super interested and wants you to ask for her number or anything serious like that. Sometimes, it’s simply a cause of her being open to what you’ve got to say and to then see where it goes.

1. Stand in front of her (with 1 to 1.5 meters between you).

2. Have a confident, easy-going smile.

3. If she hasn’t already looked up at you, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can see it.

4. When she looks at you, smile, point to her headphones and confidently ask, “Can you take off your headphones for a minute?” as you pretend to be taking headphones off your head, so she fully understands what you mean.

If she doesn’t understand that you want her to briefly take off her headphones, simply gesture that you want to talk to her by pointing back and forth from you to her and say, “I want to talk to you for a minute.”

In most cases, you won’t have to go to that extreme, but some girls are shy and will be hesitant about taking their headphones off initially. If she doesn’t want to take off her headphones, it’s probably a good sign that she doesn’t want to talk to you, so just respect that and leave the interaction.

5. If she takes off her headphones to talk to you, do what we call “Acknowledging the Awkwardness” by quickly mentioning something about the potential awkwardness of the moment (see the conversation example below), to demonstrate you understand that approaching a woman in this way isn’t the most common of experiences for either party.

For example, in a shopping mall or shopping street:

You: [Smile in a friendly, confident manner] Hey – I know it’s not normal for people to talk to someone with headphones in, but I was walking along and saw you and thought – wow, she’s hot, I have to come over and say hi. I’m Dan, what’s your name?

Woman:  Jessica.

You: [Add in some humor to get her smiling and create a spark between you] Cool…nice to meet you Jessica. I don’t normally talk to girls with headphones, but your big green headphones were just calling out to me.

Woman: [Possibly smiling or laughing].

You: [If you’re in a shopping mall or city street, let her know that you have something else to do besides talk to her, so she understands that you’re not going to stand there talking to her for 30 minutes] Anyway, I’m just out doing a bit of shopping at the moment. How about you?

If it’s clear that she’s interested in talking to you, keep the conversation going and if she’s not busy at that moment, sit down with her and have a chat for a while before getting her phone number and parting ways.

If you want the interaction to go smoothly and not feel awkward for either of you, make sure that you approach and talk to her in a relaxed, confident manner.

Most women are attracted to the strength in men (e.g. confidence, masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. nervousness, anxiety), so if you are nervous or anxious, she probably won’t be interested in talking to you.

For example: If a guy asks a girl to take off her headphones and the first words out of his mouth are, “Hi, ummm… I was, ummm… wondering, ummm… sorry to interrupt…how, ummm… are you?” you can guess what will happen next.

Headphones back in and she’ll likely turn up the volume to block him out.

Headphones are a great barrier between a person and the rest of the world.

Some women wear headphones because they don’t want guys or anyone else to speak to them, so if you try to talk to a woman and she clearly shows that she’s not interested in talking to you, just respect that and walk away.

However, sometimes a woman will be interested in talking to a guy, but she won’t immediately pull out her headphones and show interest. Why?

Some women like to test to see how confident a guy is by ignoring his attempts to converse with her and then seeing what he does next.

Does he become nervous and awkward? Does he walk away in shame, or does he remain calm and continue talking to her in a confident, easy-going manner?

If a guy gives up at the first sign of resistance, a woman like her will lose interest because he lacks the type of confidence that she looks for in a guy.

So, if you are going to talk to a woman with headphones, just keep in mind that some women will immediately take off their headphones to chat to you, some will make it obvious that they don’t want to be bothered and others might want to talk to you, but first want to see if you will remain confident if she doesn’t immediately begin talking to you.

If a shy guy stands in front a woman and is lost for words, she’s most likely going to just put her headphones back in or say, “Nice to meet you. Bye” as she walks away to get away from him.

You have approached her, so you can’t expect her to be the one making all the conversation. You’ve got to lead the way.

Leading a conversation with a woman is not about bossing her around, being arrogant or being too assertive as you talk to her. Instead, you simply need to remain confident and keep the conversation going in a relaxed, easy going manner.

If a guy gets a woman to take off her headphones to talk to him and then only engages her in a polite, reserved conversation, she’s probably not going to be very enthusiastic about talking to him for long.

So, make sure that you have the confidence to talk to her and be real. Just let your natural personality and sense of humor come through as you talk to her in a confident, easy going manner, rather than trying to be too polite or reserved.

Flirting is the most discreet way for a man and a woman to communicate sexual interest in each other, without actually having to say, “Hey, I’m interested in you in a sexual way.”

If a guy doesn’t include any flirting after getting a woman to take off her headphones to talk to him, she will most likely begin to wonder why he is talking to her if he isn’t interested in her in that way.

She might then say, “Nice talking to you. Bye”, put her headphones back in and zone him out.

So, if your intention is to get the woman’s phone number so you can possibly take her on a date, make sure that you attempt to flirt with her and see if she flirts back. If she flirts back, it usually means that she is interested and is open to getting to know you further.

As you may have noticed, women usually don’t go around actively approaching men in public places or even in bars or clubs.

Women know that is the man’s role to be confident enough to walk over and talk to a woman he finds attractive, so they have a chance to meet. If he doesn’t do that, a woman will rarely walk over and talk to him first.

So, don’t ever think that you’re doing a bad thing by approaching and talking to a woman in a confident, easy going way.

Most single women are open to being approached by a confident guy, so that they can have a chance to meet a potential new lover or boyfriend.

The key to talking to a woman who is wearing headphones (or who has her face buried into her smartphone and checking Facebook) is to be confident, relaxed and easy going as you talk to her.

Of course, not all women who wear headphones are open to being approached or hoping to be approached. However, you can only find that out by starting a conversation and seeing what happens.

Who knows, she might just be your perfect girl, so go ahead and talk to her.

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