I was lied to and misled with false advertisement. This is NOT a rpg, this is NOT a Fallout game. Every hour I spent was more soul crushing than the last, it was objectively the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life.
The first few hundred hours were the hardest. The game's lack of depth was only outmatched by it's lack of fun. Fond memories of better days, spent playing the Witcher 3 and Obsidian's Fallout NV, kept me from drowning myself in the shallow puddle water of the Commonwealth. But there's only so much one could take. Every time the protagonist opened his mouth I would literally throw up a little, then there were the dumbed down skills and fps gameplay, terrible graphics, quests and story...I was ready to carve out my intestines through my asshole with chopsticks and then strangling myself with them, rather than suffer through another hour playing that putrid trash.
"No!" I ejaculated whilst regaining my decorum. I had waited 5 years for this stagnating piece of shit, surely they had to have a hidden gem tucked away in there somewhere to make the last 500 hours of torture worth the while; perhaps I missed something in my first 5 playthroughs, perhaps it was in one of the wretched dlcs. I had to see it through. This game HAD TO SATISFY ME! But guess what? IT FUCKING FAILED!!!
Todd Howard killed my favorite franchise and raped me of my hopes and dreams, and now he has to pay!!!!! Every Bethesda employee DESERVES to have a swastika branded on his/her forehead for shitting out this abominable product, this inexcusable travesty, this SCAM onto the world and forcing me to buy it! How dare they ruin MY game?!!
I expect a public apology, directed at me personally, from Todd Howard. After which he will face justice by performing the walk of atonement (naked of course) from his evil lair, straight into the nearest prison, where he will remain until he is defiled an amount of times equal to the number of people he deceived. Oh, and most importantly I demand my money back, which I will use to purchase (NOTE: not pre-order) No Man's Sky.
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