Donald Trump got a clean bill of health from a physician who sounds remarkably like Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is healthy as a horse—just ask his personal physician, who sounds remarkably like Donald Trump.

Dr. Bornstein said he wrote this in five minutes. (It shows.) Look, we aren’t medical professionals, but we found more than a few things voters should be concerned about.

Let’s start with the letterhead:

1. Jacob Bornstein, M.D.—whose name appears first in the letterhead—passed away in 2010, five years before this letter was published.

2. P.C. typically denotes a firm or medical practice (versus a practitioner).

3. The website listed does not exist.

4. Usually, doctors’ letters released publicly do not include email addresses, in order to avoid HIPAA violations.

5. There’s a pretty glaring typo at the start of the letter.

6. The manner in which Dr. Bornstein describes Donald Trump’s tests is positively alarming. “Positive” test results might sound good but, as all doctors (and patients!) should know, they indicate that you have the condition you were tested for.

7. Dr. Bornstein describes Trump’s lab test results as “astonishingly excellent,” which isn’t a real medical description. And while we’re at it: Why would a doctor ever be astonished by good test results?

8. At least 15 pounds? Scales these days can accurately measure weight loss, but maybe Dr. Bornstein was just eyeballing it.

9. Similarly, “test scores” aren’t a real thing doctors give. This isn’t math class, it’s medicine.

10. Dr. Bornstein doesn’t explain what tests he conducted to know that Trump’s “physical strength and stamina are extraordinary,” so we’ll just have to take his word for it.

11. What a whopper of a closing statement! We feel confident saying Dr. Bornstein has never examined George Washington.

12. Although Dr. Bornstein is affiliated with Lenox Hill Hospital, he’s nowhere to be found on its Division of Gastroenterology page—which he (incorrectly) calls “Section of Gastroenterology” in his signature.

13. Dr. Bornstein includes the abbreviation “F.A.C.G.” in his signature. One problem there: He hasn’t actually been a fellow at the American College of Gastroenterologists since 1995.

Don’t take our word for it though. A lot of folks had more to say about the letter:

• New York Times: “The letter made a sweeping declaration in a tone oddly similar to how Mr. Trump talks about himself.”
• Inquisitr: “The letter is described as being filled with medical ‘gibberish’ including seemingly nonclinical adjectives, such as ‘astonishing’ and ‘only positive.’”
• Newsweek: “Donald Trump tests positive for every medical ailment. All of them. Supposedly, that’s what his doctor says … ”
• Huffington Post: “ … I want to tell you as a doctor exactly how bad it is. I would never write anything this terrible for a jury duty excuse or a back to work note … ”