I've been around awhile. Getting up there in years. It's a long rant, cathartic for me to write, but I'm hoping it will resonate with many of you, especially you "Newbies," coming here, lurking, looking for answers.
Background:
Every three days a man's testosterone peaks, which drives us to want sex, sometimes BADLY. It's no joke. Men have TEN TIMES MORE TESTOSTERONE in their system than women. Anyone, let alone "experts," who says women have the SAME sex drive and/or sexual appetite as men is completely and utterly full of shit.
Testosterone exerts a very powerful, physical, psychological response in men that compels us to have sex (procreate). Mother Nature's just doing her job. But she (Mother Nature) doesn't give a flying fuck about draconian divorce laws and statistics, out of control female nature and/or a society that promotes it. Nope, she'll compel men to procreate at all cost, even when that cost means living the life of a deluded, compliant, disposable utility, in order to keep the machine humming right along.
Therefore. Given the stark realities of the above, which scenario would/should you choose?
Scenario #1:
You are in a relationship with a woman and are spending a more substantial amount of time together. In the beginning, you were delighted in having your sexual needs met. At last!. Then slowly, but surely, things began to change. Like clockwork, once every few days your testosterone peaks. You're acute sexual desire makes you notice women everywhere. Your woman is in your direct presence almost daily. Unfortunately, she has begun turning you down for sex, for banal reasons. You sense something's wrong, because she used to be fine with sex and now she's turning you down more and more. But, again, there she is, almost every day, in your direct presence. You see her face, her ass, her tits, her legs, taking in her scents and smells, all the while your testosterone rises making you more and more frustrated. "Does she even fathom what this feels like?," you ask yourself.
Everything feminine about her makes you want her, but alas, you know she's going to turn you down. Agonizing, you can smell her, hug her, hold her, she may even let you kiss her (in a non-passionate way, of course), but you already know she's not going to let you have what you pursued her for in the first place. You're not a horndog that needs it every day. She KNOWS you're fine with 2 or 3 times a week. But she's turning you down more and more and swears, she's just "tired," "has a headache," or, "isn't in the mood," but makes ZERO effort in taking responsibility in pursuing finding out what's wrong.
So, you think, I'll just rub one out in the other room. Which pisses you off, because she was just in the shower minutes ago, butt naked, asking you to bring her a fresh towel. You looked at her, naked in the shower, smiling at you as you handed her the towel and smile back, yet sensing this woman doesn't have a clue what you're going through and couldn't muster the simple kindness to step out of the shower and just lay down with you naked and make out with you while you rub one out.
So, you rub one out alone, and later, you step out, and there she is, right there in front of you again, smiling as if everything's just fine.
More and more, you begin to wonder if this whole torturous game is about manipulation and control, but lie to yourself hoping the situation will improve. Maybe she is really "tired," "has a headache," or just isn't "in the mood." But, sadly, like clockwork, the whole agonizing process starts over, day after day, week after week, month after month. You ask yourself in confusion and frustration, "is it subconscious on her part, is it deliberate?" You may even end up being dragged into "Therapy," by HER, being told you're not making her feel "special," "loved," or "wanted." Your head is spinning, because you know you are the exact same man you were when she was CRAZY about you and loved having sex with you. You begin to sense something deeper is going on. What if she's just BORED with the relationship, with YOU. What if she just doesn't have the courage or integrity to admit it and is projecting her inability to fess up to that fact, which would make her look "bad." What if she's just dragging you into therapy to frustrate the shit out of you with the Therapist's help and drive you so nuts, YOU LEAVE HER, which makes her look like the VICTIM?
Scenario #2:
You've done your homework. You've looked at facts and information about relationships, marriage, divorce law and men and women. To be clear, YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED. The process of learning truth was a shock to the system. You were appalled at first, then angry, then deeply sad, but were unable to lie to yourself about the truth of it. You've worked through most of the sadness, and now you're learning how to live your life on your own terms. Pursuing hobbies, career(s) and/or other activities for personal growth and enjoyment--irrespective and uncaring of whether others will approve of them. Once every few days--when your testosterone peaks--you see a hot woman and immediately feel that trigger of desire to start fantasizing having sex with her (or a woman from your past or elsewhere), but immediately quell it, because you know from experience, letting that fantasizing continue LEADS TO TROUBLE. You know letting that fantasizing continue will only lead to more and more sexual frustration and desperation, leading to the compulsion to pursue women from a position of lack (weakness) instead of confidence (strength). "I need a girlfriend!"
Immediately, you know what's going on inside you, stop yourself from out of control fantasizing and have a plan of action. You choose instead to work out, rub one out, or pursue another healthy and/or fun activity to supplant the desire. You feel fine afterwards and go about your business. You now know the key to personal empowerment is to never pursue women from a perspective of sexual desperation, by not letting that sexual frustration/desperation develop in the first place. You may date women, have sex with them and/or have fun with them, but will never put yourself in a situation where she can attempt to or control the relationship through sexual manipulation. You now are ready. If a woman ever tries to control the relationship through her sex, you are in control and call her on it, tell her to stop it, or just walk away, because you know if it continues, it will only get worse.
You've learned mother nature is all powerful, yet she is indifferent to you. Therefore, you've learned the absolute importance of taking control FROM HER. You are running the show now. The Gods are smiling upon you, for, when it comes to the all important drive to have sex (procreate), YOU HAVE TAMED MOTHER NATURE.
ここには何もないようです