Five years ago I did the classic girl meets sensitive, troubled boy and proceeds to fall in love while trying to save him thing. I'm embarrassed at my young naivete but I do truly love him and the daughter that was borne from our marriage. We've talked and talked. We've been to couples counseling (about 5 sessions). Lately, I am losing respect for him and hope for our union. Anger issues, childlike temper tantrums, addicted to marijuana, no personal drive for a career or personal hobby (just lots of talking about it). We have both grown since committing to each other but I still feel like I'm dragging him along into adulthood. I'm tired. Especially now that I have a daughter to raise. We rarely have sex anymore. It was slow before the baby and now it doesn't happen at all. I don't want to. I could write a book on why I don't want to but I'll just leave it at that for now. He doesn't pursue anything to make himself happy. I've tried supporting his growth and search for happiness every way I know how short of doing it for him. I can't anymore - I have a daughter to raise now.

I still think he is attractive - he is a very good looking man. He dresses well and he is great about picking up around the house. He has a good heart when he's not angry at life for not giving him what he was apparently owed.

If there is still love is there still hope? Has anyone been here and found it got better? I feel like quite the cliche.

Happiness = Reality - Expectations.

For example, let's say someone gets a 4% raise. If they were expecting a 2% raise, they will probably be happy. If they were expecting a 6% raise, they will probably be unhappy.

Your husband, unless he's battling depression or something [which is totally possible] probably just has unrealistic expectations about life. Being successful (which itself is somewhat subjective) requires a lot more effort and time than many young people realize.

To read more: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

:p that's rough.

You've grown up into a woman and a mother, while he's a boy with a kid. Sometimes new moms feel like suddenly that have two kids to take care of, and lack of respect and even resentment happens.

The wish for "more" from our spouses will never go away. But the drive for him to do something more WILL go away if you keep "encouraging". He knows you want more, he knows society wants more from him, and he knows his kid will want more from him. It'll be easy for him to sink into despair, and allow himself this ad an excuse to further not do anything.

If you want to stay with him, he needs to feel that you like him for him, that even if he never does anything with his life you'll still love him. That's a tall order, I'm not diminishing your hardships at all, but it's what you promised.

Sometimes it's very hard for us to understand how crushing our words are on those sensitive spirits. They're already imagining enough harshness from the world that a single frown devastated them.

It sucks. But also know this: if he gets a job because you told him to, there's not much joy for you and a lot of anger from him. But if you never mention it again, maybe, maybe, maybe one day he might surprise you and tell you he found a quarter while he was out.

:) Just a silly attempt at a joke.

Appreciate him aloud. Dwell on the small good things. A man can live without sex and love, but he cant live without respect. The entire world respects money and power and a forceful personality. Your home may be the only place in the entire universe for him to not feel like a useless waste of space.

Does he work? Do you work?

Honestly, it sounds like your husband needs to be red pilled. Your post makes him sound like such a beta, the only result if he doesn't change is you find some alpha Chad to start fucking and you turn him Into a cuckold, or you leave him to go hop on the CC for a while.