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ADVICECaptain and drugs? (self.RedPillWomen)

yemeyenkiz が 投稿

Hi all, My boyfriend is an amazing captain and in general our relationship is pretty amazing. However my boyfriend was recently given meth by his loser father (I don't say this to my boyfriend, but like his dad has not had a job in two years, is divorced from boyfriend's mum for beating her and generally being a bad person). My boyfriend still has a 'fairly' close relationship with his dad (feels sorry for him, as the man's lonely) and so visits his dad about once a week or fortnight. Two weeks ago my boyfriend smoked meth with his father for the first time and now thinks it isn't a huge deal, and admitted that he will probably do it again and that it's 'kind of fun' and brings him closer to his father. This really bothers me, and I don't know how to raise the issue without causing my boyfriend to believe I am accusing him. How would I raise this issue to my boyfriend in a way that will allow him to not brush off my concerns or to believe I am personally attacking him.

Thank you

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[–]Equilibriun30s single 23ポイント24ポイント  (1子コメント)

Leave or turn into a meth whore. There is no middle

[–]VigilantRedRoosterLate 40s | LTR 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

Meth? Run and don't look back!!!

I am so serious! Run far, far away from the situation that is unfolding here. This drug is highly addictive, and ruins everyone who begins using it. There's a saying: A thief will steal your stuff. A tweaker will steal your stuff and help you look for it.

There's no comparison to pot and psychedelics. Meth is so much worse it belongs in a class of its own.

This cannot be helped by pussyfooting around. Forget his feelings, relationship etiquette, all of that out the window. You'll never hear me say this more unequivocally about a relationship on here: RUN! FOR YOUR LIFE!

[–]StanleyVainFeminine-ist|31| Married 3 years 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also, go to Al-anon. You'll find out that what u/VigilantRedRooster is saying is true.

[–]eftresq 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Run, there are more captains. This suggestion is from past experience. There is nothing good about meth. There is no such thing as social use. It has the huge potential to replace you as best friend.

[–]Ignored0neTraditionally Married 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

I feel like its one of those things where you have to set clear boundaries to him. Unfortunately, drugs basically can take over a person - my wife has accused, jokingly, of video games stealing the relationship from her. Drugs can do the same, in a much more extensive and irreversible way.

[–]StanleyVainFeminine-ist|31| Married 3 years -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

When you're not married, you don't get to set boundaries. That's why shacking up/LTRs are so convenient. He can do whatever he wants and he doesn't have to answer to her.

[–]blindedbythebrights25 | in a new relationship 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Okay, but that's because you still have the freedom to walk away.

[–]Open_your_mind_Quaid 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

You obviously have no idea what meth is or how addictive and life ruining it is. Research it and I think you'll know the answer. You don't casually smoke or casually quit meth like it's weed.

[–]StanleyVainFeminine-ist|31| Married 3 years 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

IMO, he's weak. Leave him. HUGE RED FLAG. Also, two years and no ring and a date? Why are you wasting your life like that? You deserve better than that.

[–]TheBouillonQueen 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Question...sorry if I'm butting in on this, but what do you mean by "two years and no ring and a date"? Is there some hidden memo about how long a LTR should last before tying the knot??

[–]MsSadieDunham 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

How would I raise this issue to my boyfriend in a way that will allow him to not brush off my concerns or to believe I am personally attacking him.

You would tell him in no uncertain terms that drugs are a deal breaker for you. If he continues with the behavior leave him. It is as simple as that. This was not something you had to deal or contend with at the start of your relationship and you don't wish to have it be a part of it now.

[–]hazelfox32, Engaged 6mos/LTR 5 yrs 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is not something you can gently raise the issue and work around. If he was smoking pot occasionally to relax, that's one thing - a pretty easy thing to leave behind and not pick up again. Meth is addictive and destructive. This is a dealbreaker and you need to treat it as such. That includes telling him "Using meth is a dealbreaker for me" and leaving if he doesn't stop this right away.

[–]tippedthescaffoldTeenager [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Get out of there. I've known plenty of drug-addicts, some as young as 14 some as old as my 60 year old uncle who just had a heart attack with meth in his system. There is a very small chance of "casually" doing meth "for fun". He may be doing that... for now, but that will soon change. People generally become VERY dangerous within a short period after they start doing drugs, be it by stealing from their friends, being emotional vampires, hanging out with criminals, etc.

I'm so sorry. I'll never forget the feeling of the first time I heard one of my close friends tell me she started shooting up. It's hard to reason with them as well, as we all know. The mixture of his less-than-satisfactory father figure and now drugs coming into the mix is not good.

[–]pinkdrawingsLady Single 19 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Get out. Now. Nobody here is joking when they say this. Leave him or be prepared to: Save up for hospital trips from ODs, Save up for bail when he gets arrested, Buy a safe to keep your money in to keep it away from him - he'll spend it all on meth, Be okay with him hanging out with other meth whores, Be prepared to get a better job, and be able to support the both of you - he'll be too high to care about work. He isn't smoking a joint at the end of a long day with his dad. He is doing meth with a divorced wife beater.