I really get angry when i write this down but it has to be done. Be warned that if you dont read this to the end you will miss out the best parts.

I had a long story of terrible illness which was life threatening and an ongoing battle. I cant explain it right now in detail but the CDC has finally admitted how serious this is after all the years of struggle for patients. Many people i knew just take their lifes in the process. I recently was posted a blog and many faces i knew were on a blog all dead. Now dont make a mistake and be a "buuuuuuut" person - this is just like the crap they tell you about men on television. Super controversial.

My family does not give a shit. After seeing MGTOW videos i realized how BAD it really is and how much i had been dreaming about a healed an happy family which never existed. I got insane red pill rage. I was already red pill but i think i always evaded the biggest part of it. My bigger sister too is afraid of me because im the truth in this family. She surpressed her man so badly that when im at the table on christmas and i make jokes and speak up for men she gets angry and wants me out

Its an uphill battle and it bascially makes you broke - you have to get all savings and be super smart. But guess what you dont know that before and youre more desperate to get health than a beta that wants to score the latest STD on tinder from a fuckly obese woman.

So this happend to me as well. Costs were so high (docs, treatments) and i had to move back to my parents for a while after how 10 years. I was naive back then and thought i would be back at university in 1-2 years. Some people i met with this i never heared of them again. Later i tell you why.

Then it was 3 years. Then 4 years... Im not as sick anymore but im not able to work fully as i would just slide back into illness (experienced it) - but im on a good way and i still make gains. I have some really good days often. I dont wanna make any victim of myself, i just try to explain what is going on. I dont wanna play tought when its not needed. Sometimes i like brutal honesty. It was always my thing. People CONSTANTLY push their frame on you because "its not cancer" you know so everyone has to give their 99 cents. I dont wanna compare it to cancer but its at least as bad. Especially the long term antibiotics (3-4 at the same time) is so bad for your body will regret to be born. I will not work fully until im recovered. Thats what i say. And it stays that way. Its the only way.

This process of illness pretty much made me as red pill as one can get. I saw all the uglyness and hypergamy in women when she leaves you for a beta guy because youre currently in a down phase. So youre sexy and successfull but youre sick - makes you a bad catch. I first thought im crazy when i saw patterns but it turned out to be that i had a very sharp observation. I saw how society is fucked up in its core. How we piss on the poor and how the rich get richer and fatter. But i also saw the good people, the sharp ones. The smart ones. I learned so fucking MUCH.

https://www.cdc.gov/lyme/signs_symptoms/index.html - the disease was covered up so no one would actually treat you except specialist which are expensive. Its very controversial

Good movie about it too if youre interested: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2016/08/13/under-our-skin-lyme-disease-2.aspx

But... I didnt imagine the drama i would be getting when i had to move back because i didnt find a new apartment. The three i found ALL had water damage and this makes it so much worse - forget it. Youll risk 1-2 years of treatment progress minimum. Youd body is already inflamed so the extra inflammation will overdrive it to the point where you sleep 20 hours a day and worse.

Heres the crazy part in europe there are no superb specialists, they are trained by PROS in the US. So you basically are fucked without speaking english. I learned english via the internet, youtube you NAME it.

Im someone who can take a lot and who is able to talk and fight for good but this is just like hanging out with two BPD chicks at the same time. They use anything they find over me to gain power because they know im not like the rest of the family. Im not a pussy, i dont follow orders, i speak my mind but i dont try to hurt others. Yet the truth that i speak is too painful for many. But hey if you shame me i have no problems to tell you who you really are.

But they also seek my help if they are sick because i know the body so well. I found out i had good talent with that. They would always come back for more tips. Like with everything you will see people will sometimes just be there to get some good advice and then vanish especially women. So they get to the intelligent people and fool them emotionally so they can be lazy as fuck.

I seriously will - never marry any woman or give her any power over me again. I am my own boss. Thats it. No female captains allowed. I did this correctly in many relations and i lost power everytime when i got sicker. It often reminded me of the "sick kings" in tv shows that were betrayed. That was always what i saw with my third eye.

You have to realize one can die from this and many people will never recover unless you put in insane amount of work, money and effort. If you dont read book on it and experiment: youre fucked. If you dont join facebook groups: youre fucked. List goes on and on. I tryed to study at university the same time and it failed. No one understood it. I dont care about that, i simply make the best out of it. I managed it to make a TOP band here that was locally successful and was very good. Later the drummer got married and you can think what happend with him. I did an awesome job at this. I know im capable of so much. My dad only came once because my mum forced him and later on he just didnt say anthing except that you cant make money with it or some shit. Dont even try to listen to him.

I often feel like i have to life coach him. Like the obvious stuff "dad youre too much in the head all the time just relax more and find something relaxing" - Im much stronger, forgiving and i see that he has been abused his whole life. Probably hardcore. Yet that is no fucking reason to hate on the only son. He also never really worked on it. I have NO FUCKING IDEA how i have confidence at this point when i look at my factors its like holy shit. It must be mainly the band. Because everyone was like im a nobody and i cant play and i SHOWED everyone in 2-3 years what im able to if you let me. When put in work and you get the respect ... thats the best feeling my friends.

Work on your goals. Have patience!

When i tryed to pause my studies my "parents" just cancled my studies by holding back papers from the university (was living somewhere else at this point but still used my old adress) and they just gave me the papers where i was exmatriculated. I was too sick to fight for it, i saw no hope but to be honest i thought about ending it but no one ever has the right to do such bullshit. I never asked them. They just lost empathy on the path and labled me as a failure not worth paying fuckin 80$s for because you can study free with this illness... They are also jealous of my education and intelligence and dont want me to succeed. At this point i asked myself if they are mentally ill. I always 100% supported them even if they let me down and now this.

Wanna laugh? Im so good with health my mum had pre-colon cancer and with my diet tips her doctors was like "its a miracle its gone" in 6 month. Before the condition worsened every 6 months to the point where they wanted to cut out a huge part of her colon. This is a true story and it proved me again that im neither stupid and that i dont buy into crap and that i know what im talking about. She then treated me like a "king" but that didnt last long.

Right there this shows you how FUCKED UP women are.

Now i have no fucking degree but i dont feel like i fucking need one anymore. But i was so lost when i "was dropped out" I have to do something else but I KNOW that my health is my no.1 - i did the mistake to multitask and push university hard that set me back YEARS in my illness. I was so delusional and i see it was the agenda that others pushed on me, the fucking expectations that people have.

I didnt realize this until i had a bad phase again that wouldnt end - i was with a new doctor and his supplements made me sick to the point where i had to camp in the garden 1 year (yes even in the winter) because i became deadly allergic to perfumes, mold, pets - basically anything... I met a lot of people with the exact problem and they funny enough used the same strategy. I could even link the websites. You think anything is crazy until you have no CHOICE my friends.

My dad came to the tent once and yelled some shit not even saying this was at the backyard of my ex GFs garden where everyone thought im fucking nuts. It was dangerous too because in the winter it was really frosty cold so i had to get used to it and be very good with the equipment... and in the summer we had tons of ticks which could give me "lyme on lyme". I once was bitten by three one day where i fell asleep in the sun and was able to kill it off right away. Thats the fresh infection. The chronic one is a different beast. Its much deeper in the tissue. Antibiotics are almost useless. A band aid at best. I know many MGTOWS here wrote me with their crazy stories with lyme many too ashamed to speak about it because you will be labled a: someon who is crazy, making it up, psycho, completely delusional, lost in weird treatments - list goes on forever.

I read like crazy and got rid of 90% of this with my intelligence and patience. I knew the fresh air was good for me and that i would recover from this wrong treatment that made my immune system crazy as hell. I can tell you i was begging for help and my parents were just hopeless and it made most of it just worse.

I know this sounds like crying or something but it is a real story i swear its real.

Because they are uninformed idiots that never read books or speak with doctors and left me totally alone emotionally for the whole time they feel when im having a bad phase im "faking it" or "making it up" to be lazy or some shit. They sold their old house so they had some funds which they gave me but you can guess how terrible it is to be isolated emotionally from everyone. That saying i was lucky to have some money for free. I was so loyal back then i wouldnt go to expensive docs or practitioners anymore and would research anything and trust my instincts more. Some people slap you their "science" in the face when you gut says "fuck this bastard" and its always right. Never make the mistake to be too much in your head.

My dad is a piece of shit. He is the biggest beta loser i have honestly ever seen in my life. Im not kidding. He sits in front of TV all day, whines about how bad all is and if my mum says anything: he does it. She also shames him and disses him if she pleases to and he never speaks up. Its like a retarded child that gets slapped if it does anything wrong. So he is always keen on pleasing her. He never asks me how he could help, he simply does not care. Whenever he "cares" about me 99% of the time it was my mum talking to him and wanting something from me. Like moving out ASAP because yeah hes a beta and has to follow orders.

When i think about it i often get feelings like "I can show him the truth and make him stand up for himself again" but i guess its too late. He does not even trust me he hides his true opinions. In his opinion i didnt want university enough. It reminds me of emotionally retarded chinese or japanese parents that sucked but want their kids to be professors.

Disease does not exist. Thats when i always lose and i say fuck it youre a loser its pointless. He makes me ashmed of BP men and BP in general, he made me never go into beta mode when it was really important because i always thought you dont wanna end up the same way. So when my EX gf came up with another guy shes "maybe in love with" i walked away and was laughing to myself like the guy will be fucked over the same. Sure i was hurt and fucked up but i knew in my heart that its the ONLY WAY and im proud of it to have evaded endless drama and bullshit. I never called her or mailed her because i knew its the right path. I didnt wanna be around abusive people anymore.

So i did a ton of health stuff. My mother tryed to dictate me when i have to "leave" and its fucked up how entitled she is. I told her i will go when i think its right. Seriously how would i feel if i leave when SHE wants me to leave? Again no fucking consideration of my health state this is not just a "comfort" thing this is serious BUSINESS this is my body. I made this mistake in the past. I wont travel if i feel bad to end up in a hotel room tired for days and having that feeling of someone "ruled" over me.

I had plans to go to another city to see how it goes blabla... so i made a short trip when i had an uptime of health. i regret to have told them this. i was in a too good mood with my first try. then my mum "dictated" me when i should leave because she goes on holiday and i quote "she doesnt want me to be here when shes away because the house will be trashed" i told her nice try to shame me again and she played it like "nice" which i knew was all her stupid game my dad is the biggest sucker ever he just supports what she does, never asks for me or my issues he just follows her a complete asshole he never did anything to protect me