Rethink It With Ben: Marriage does not make you successful

In Kano state over 10,000 women registered for the state sponsored match making program where they'll be married off to would be suitors.

And recently I heard the story of a young woman from the South South who got married via the old school method of arranged marriages.

Her family consented even though the woman in question had never met the man before, their reason being, she’s 26yrs old and running out of time. Today she's being abused not only by the man but by his siblings as well.

We live in a country where you are judged by your marital status and not your achievements.

As soon as you get to your mid twenties, your parents and 'well meaning' family members are already asking when they'll attending your marriage.

ALSO READ: Pastor Adeboye or Charly Boy, who is your marriage counsellor?

This shaming is not reserved for women alone, as no man is considered responsible unless he's married (ask Banky W).

And even the church is guilty of this shaming. We have 18yr old 'men' in the men's fellowships and 32yr old ‘boys’ in the youth fellowships.

The logic is simple, you become a man or woman the day you get married, not when you become 21.

If the Apostle Paul was alive today, he would be a perpetual member of the youth group, since he never got married.

And all his wisdom would have died with him as anytime he opens his mouth to speak, he'll be reminded of the fact that he’s unmarried and therefore not qualified to instruct.

The pressure to get married has led a lot of young people into relationships they should not be in, all because of the stigma associated with being single.

It's time for us as a people to change the way we evaluate success, and realize that marriage does not make a  person complete.