Despite knowing that The Red Pill is a misogynist philosophy, I can't help but think they are at least correct about The Wall. I don't look forward to getting older, especially as a woman. At least when men get older they get taken more seriously and can look distinguished. I heard that age discrimination hits women harder and they society sees them as invisible. Can someone prove me wrong? I don't want to wallow in depression due to something that's not even true.

I wish I could turn back time. I wish I could go back 10 years and do whatever I can not to be a 27-year-old virgin with no career, no friends, and very little to look forward to.

I am emotionally stunted at 18 years old. While most teenagers were hooking up and going to house parties, I spent my formative years alone in my room, spending all my free time on the internet. Sometimes I have fantasies about having sex in a dorm room or doing PDA in front of school lockers because I never had that opportunity. I know I sound creepy. I'm not proud of these dirty thoughts. Social anxiety has ruined my life. I shouldn't blame social anxiety for everything, but it's part of the reason why I fucked up in life.

I'm not even sure if I like men enough to actually want to marry one. I have never bonded with a guy close enough to want a relationship with him. Whenever I kissed a guy, I became less interested in him. I've kissed eight guys so far and felt nothing for them. Does this mean I'm a lesbian? I feel like I'm too old to question my sexuality. I feel that my chance to experiment ended when I graduated from college.

Even though I'm almost 30, I get treated condescendingly. People often assume I'm younger than I really am and see me as naive. I can't relate to people my own age because I'm years behind them emotionally. I feel that I'm stuck in limbo. I'm emotionally stunted compared to people my age, yet if I try to befriend or date younger people, it will be creepy.

I see the lives of older people like my parents and co-workers, and their lives are bland at best. I'm not looking forward to living the next few decades.

How do I move on? How do I come to terms with growing up?

TL;DR - I'm nearly 30 and still unsure about what I want and would like in a relationship. I feel like I'm running out of time to get my life together. Feels regret over not having many of the same experiences growing up as women my age.