全 89 件のコメント

[–]rayyaal 156ポイント157ポイント  (17子コメント)

THE REGRET OF NOT APPROACHING FEELS 100% WORSE. CAN CONFIRM.

[–]afkb39sdfb 28ポイント29ポイント  (1子コメント)

It is better to have tried and failed, than to have never tried at all

Goes for most things in life

[–]biscuitfiends 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

Exceptions, for reference: skydiving, tightrope, piloting, birthday parties, suicide.

[–]bowie747 33ポイント34ポイント  (6子コメント)

The male hamster is real, but we will crucify him.

[–]2ex_addict_bro 1ポイント2ポイント  (5子コメント)

Hell no, remember what happened when we crucified Jesus?

[–]wishitookthebluepill 13ポイント14ポイント  (3子コメント)

I remember the times I chickened out and didn't approach as well as the pain associated with it much more vividly than I remember the times I got rejected.

[–]wishitookthebluepill 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

I don't understand why I'm being downvoted. I pretty much confirmed what he said.

[–]BlacknOrangeZ 19ポイント20ポイント  (0子コメント)

Embrace downvotes. They're just redditors.

[–]Attentive1 -5ポイント-4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I just down voted you because you're sensitive. Suck it and re-read the article.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMattyAnon 33ポイント34ポイント  (7子コメント)

Conversely

Some women are put off by overt sexual intention before they feel attracted.... and other times the feeling of "I can have him whenever I like" can trigger her hypergamous "I can do better" response.

Yes you should "escalate to find out" and yes you should be unafraid to show intent. But sometimes it's better to tease and be disinterested and IDGAF than balls-out "fuck me or fuck off". Overt sexual intent isn't always optimum.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 23ポイント24ポイント  (0子コメント)

The key is to escalate at a steady, comfortable pace. If you ignore a girl half the night and don't escalate, you lose. But as you've noted, if you come on to a girl like a freight train, that can be just as bad.

[–]the_steroider 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

On the other side, you're not sniping for specific girls, you're shotgunning. So if some girl is not interested, whatever, move on to the next who might be interested in getting railed that evening.

[–]enjoytheloss2 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree that women have this trigger.

I just don't care about it, it wastes too much of my time to employ game vs just fucking off.

[–]roeddit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Showing strong intent and simultaneously being disinterested IS the art of game.

[–]imbackbabyyeah -4ポイント-3ポイント  (2子コメント)

the fun is often in the chase no?

[–]Endorsed ContributorMattyAnon 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

Depends if you prefer chasing or fucking.

[–]imbackbabyyeah 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

A bit of chasing is good fun. If you're a hunter, that's the most important skill. You chase, then go in for the kill, then you do the skinning, cooking and eating. Without the chase you're basically shagging battery chickens.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 34ポイント35ポイント  (1子コメント)

Quality reminder for seasoned veterans and excellent advice to the noobs.

To be 100% honest, I needed to read that right now. Rejection doesn't bother me, but I've been going far too slowly in my interactions, mostly because I haven't been looking nor interested in new girls. Practice makes proficient, and I got out of practice.

[–]ShumbodyGetchaShpank 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I clicked on this post because of the term "embrace."

I think your statement and 99% of what I read in TRP confirm a sort of drift that occurs within the ranks.

There's, "Fuck it all. Bring it on. I want pain/rejection/fear," which gets men laid/jobs/opportunities. These men know how to rock the free world. Their fires burn brightly.

Then there's, "Ok, I said fuck it all. Now it's time to slow down and give a damn again." These types turn into fakish MGTOWs. I'm guilty of this. It's, "I don't need women right now." "Time to consolidate and play it safe."

I think the rule should be that if you say, "I don't need women" even one time you need to slap yourself in the face because you're losing focus. I will always need to eat, sleep, and breathe. If I tell myself, "I don't need to eat this week," then my body will wreck my shit until I feed it. So I prepare meals.

If I tell myself, "I don't need women this week," my spirit and my body will do one of two things depending on whether I'm jacking off regularly -

  • Not jacking off regularly - I will turn into a single-minded fuck animal that will eventually fuck someone in spite of my whiny "I don't need women" bullshit.

  • Jacking off reguarly - I will turn into the women that I want, make female friends, lose all focus, and become the epitome of the pussy I crave.

Go conquer.

[–]metallica11 35ポイント36ポイント  (0子コメント)

It comes down to the rule of efficiency. You don't want to waste your time, energy, and money and something with a poor return on your investment. It is better to state your intent directly and weed out the ones that will waste your time.

huddeling over your phone trying wondering if a girl is actually interested or not is a waste of time and energy. It pisses me of. Don't do it.

[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

Experiencing rejection is a good precursor to becoming better at reading women. You'll begin to see over time which women are more receptive and which women are repulsed. Hence, body language.

On top of that, experiencing rejection helps one become used to it. Many men fear rejection and overthink it to the point that they'd rather fantasize about the possibilities, rather than experience the reality of a possibility played out. They would rather hold on to the dream. But after experiencing rejection, most men will calibrate themselves accordingly and adapt to the situation.

And quite honestly the biggest benefit of all, getting rid of oneitis. Nothing more needs to be said about this.

[–]pantsoffire 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Holy shit, it's posts like these that got me subbed. These nit picking motherfuckers reviewing your play by play like a bunch of bored women deciding by committee what you did or did not do wrong or right via their 3rd/ 4th party petty opinions drives me mental. Go for it, move on. When you are comfortable with rejection because alpha this or game mentality or mega options- THAT's the objective, the End Game. Other wise you're still ruled by the pussy. Good post.

[–]Deraileur 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

Remember, they’re just women. And women are for fucking. One of many hobbies you enjoy. Quit taking them so seriously. Just try to fuck one, and if it doesn’t work, go try to fuck another. Repeat as needed. Never let yourself get hung up on this one girl you thought you were maybe going to fuck. Just embrace the rejection and move on.

This paragraph is gold.

You are in charge of your own life. You get to decide, well... everything.

[–]PabloEscoba 21ポイント22ポイント  (8子コメント)

Women are terrible judges of character. They choose men based on how he made them feel when he said certain words.

[–]makechangegreatagain 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, learn to be that guy who makes them feel when you say certain words. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

[–]kinklianekoff 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

There is no such thing as "character" isolated from your behaviour in social interactions.

[–]imbackbabyyeah 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

It is much worse to get strung along. I lost count of the times I got friend zoned before I even got rejected

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Your job is to control your encounters with women. To make your intentions clear from the start. To flirt. To escalate. Touch. Keep things moving forward at a steady, comfortable pace until you get a hard no.

This is the key sentence here. Too many guys put themselves in the woman's frame and let her dictate how the relationship will progress. "I did the song and dance, I spit game, I bought her drinks, I washed her car, but she still rejected me!" Or, even sadder: "I married her, provided for her and her kids, bought her whatever she wanted, put up with her laziness for twenty years, and she still won't have sex with me!"

Stop submitting to her frame and start dictating your own terms regarding the relationship. Have rules, boundaries, standards, and deadlines, and if the woman isn't meeting them, next her.

TRP receives much criticism regarding the ruleset we propose for relationships, e.g.

  • Single mother? A plate at best.
  • BPD, depression, or on medication for mental illness? Next.
  • Three dates and still no sex? Next.
  • Time/money waster or disrespectful of your time/money? Next.
  • GF asks about opening the relationship? Next.
  • GF gets lazy and lets her body go? Next.
  • Owns horses? A plate at best.
  • Feminist? Probably should next.
  • Sex worker or stripper? A plate at best.

These rules might be excessively strict but having overly discriminatory rules is better than having no rules or standards at all.

Without a well-defined set of terms and guidelines for dealing with women, you're just a piece of soft clay that a woman can mold into whatever she wants.

[–]casemodsalt 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't even bother trying. Make women come to you. That's how you know they have good taste.

[–]iamsofuckingoutraged 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

There is a fine line though of coming across as a try hard creepy amateur and being someone that can take rejection while maintaining a certain finesse that shows it isn't your fault but a matter of incompatibility. In my experience, having a sense of humor, self deprecating a lot of times, is a good survival skill. If whomever your hitting on rejects you, make it out like it's what you expected and then let it go. Continue to have fun like you don't expect anything in return, and I can't express enough you really should not expect anything in return. Move on. If your fantasy is to have that one girl that rejects you, your best bet is to ignore her and continue to see what your other options are out there. You might quickly realize she wasn't the one you wanted after all. There's a lot of flavors out there. Be smart, be funny, keep your options open. You don't need blue or red pills to understand common sense.

[–]Attentive1 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You guys are funny. I look at it as a numbers game. My odds get better as I reduce the potential sexual population. Also, stop trying to read her mind. It's not about what frame of mind she's in its about you. Start with the hottest chick if you want. Expect a rejection and laugh that shit off if it happens. Have a drink and go to the next one on your list. It's all about you. 😁

[–]Disaster_Voyeurism 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thing is, when I purposely try to escalate there tends to be a "I can have him whenever vibe". I've been trying to find the perfect balance, but I still don't really know.

Currently interrailing through Europe on my own. I've kissed at least one girl every night I've been out. Still, I feel not in control sometime.

Are there any threads, topics or articles that give a few examples of escalation? The golden balance of not being too available, but still giving sexual intent.

One of the few times everything went perfect is when the girl is into me because of my looks, and I can reject kissing her or tease her a bit (did it with both f-closes). I'd like to have that vibe in every conversation, but even though I have lived it and am able to, I can't recreate it on demand.

[–]Carpiem 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Let's face it! About 95% when a male wants but doesn't approach is pure male hamsterazation. I know because I did and still rationalize a lot.

[–]Bulk_king11 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Great post but there has definitely been times (especially with hotter women at a bar) where woman are being hit on constantly, that at first it may seem like you're being rejected to ward off the creepy or beta males but if you hold frame pull back and joke with her you can get her to open up. Escalate and end up leaving with her. I've had it happen a lot lately and it really has opened my eyes up to hanging in there just a bit longer before saying she's not interested.

[–]Expectations1 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Ive boiled it down to this, too many guys stressing over wanting to sleep with the bitches that dont give a fuck about them and ignoring the ones that do.

[–]standardoil2 -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

yeah, tldr of a social system.

[–]Jakei34 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

In Highschool. So if I see a girl I believe fuckable and interesting, approaching.

I just got to brace myself for the rejections. I'm ready.

[–]1ItsTheHomeWrecker 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Highschool is a bit different. Better to be super social and you don't want to get a reputation as someone who doesn't know social boundaries.

Simply put just don't escalate as fast as Archwinger recommends, still escalate though.

[–]Swole_is_life 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

An important note to everything here is that it's all probabilistic. Lifting, game, holding frame etc. all increase your probability of success with women and decrease the probability of disaster, but it's still never a guarantee.

So when we say things like AWALT we obviously don't mean that we can predict any woman's behavior at any given time. We just mean that as the number of opportunities for hypergamy increases, the probability of acting on it approaches 1.

[–]Upvote_To_The_Left 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

if you want to do this stuff there is no way you can avoid rejection. So your only choice is to get used to it.

Otherwise get used to being a pussy.

Pushing past the fear of rejection can take time, but it's doable with daily practice and discipline. It's doable for ANYBODY. Even you guys that think you have it extra bad like I did.

Its DOABLE.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

There is an episode of Cheers in Season 3 where Sam gets rejected. Norm starts crying because he viewed Sam as a God who could pull any piece of pussy he wanted and never be rejected.

Some of you need to watch that episode. Even the best get rejected. Even if they do everything right. Some women just aren't going to go along with it.

[–]TheConArtistAubrey 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That show is full of interesting Red Pill type stuff. Almost every episode.

[–]Saintmyname 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I get rejected more than accepted. Most all men do. It's no big deal. It's part of courting. No reason to take it personally.

[–]bigk12345 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Here is what is helping me on my journey.

" Rejection is better than regret"

Would you rather be told to fuck off by that beautiful Girl at the bar and know for a fact you can approach other girls AND you got definitive answer with this girl?

Or.....

Think she was a girl of your dreams , perfect onetis, etc, without approaching her and literally idealizing her at the end of your night without approaching her the entire night.

For me, it is either yes or no.

That just makes it easier to move into next girl and analyze at the end of the night what I did right or wrong .

[–]froggyfreshrap 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Excellent post, no matter how good looking you are, there will always be girls who will reject you. Dgaf

[–]danydin 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you’re giving out attention and not getting laid, that’s on you.

[–]AmericanHistoryAFBB 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Would you take a child seriously if they didn't want to share any of their cookies with you? Well, treat women like that. They're just humans who take shits like the rest of us, don't give them the power of thinking they're better than you if rejected. Its their loss, not yours.

[–]JohnnyPoster 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Great article.

I think the issue with dating today is that we often have less commonality with our date. This creates a two fold problem.

1) we have to do more on the date than what we're told. Without a k close you're often DOA. Simply being a gentleman doesn't mean squat.

2) rejection is so easy because we don't owe anything.

So men go on dates and be a gentleman but unless you're super hot you have leave a lasting impression.

Girls are often jerks and will ghost you for this. But he's right the key isn't too fret about how big of a jerk they are which is true. It's about making your intentions clearer do you either get at least the k close or rejection on the spot.

[–]mehdreamer 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

How many rejections you should have before stop caring about being rejected?

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Maybe a thousand? I dunno. But that's not limited to girls and bars.

The two biggest traits that get guys laid are looks and social skills.

The two traits that guys on the internet looking for advice on getting laid happen to lack are looks and social skills.

Looks are easy. Hit the gym daily, lift heavy, and clean up your diet. Dress well, get a good haircut. I guess not "easy". It's hard work. But what to do is pretty obvious and not mentally or emotionally difficult to figure out and undertake.

Social skills require more thinking on your feet, and more work being interesting and having shit to talk about, questions to ask, and things that make you stand out in people's minds. You can read about social skills all day long, but the only way you really get better at them is practice. Talk to everybody, all the time. Guys, girls, young, old, wherever you are. You're in line at a coffee shop or the bank? Put your damn cell phone up and chat with the person next to you in line. Strangers in the mall? The cashier at a store? Just talk to people. You're not trying to get a date or make a new best friend. Just spend 30 seconds or so chatting about nothing. It's awkward, stupid, embarrassing, you don't know what to say, people are wondering what you want and thinking you're weird. But you get better at it. And you stop caring about what people think because you realize it doesn't matter. You'll never see any of these people again. You start noticing that other people are worrying about your judgment instead of the other way around. After about 1000 of these interactions, it just clicks.

[–]mehdreamer 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is golden advice. Thanks bro.

[–]Carpiem 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I want to add two quotes from Rollo Tomassi that helped me dealing with rejection:

  • Sifting through some of my past posts on the SoSuave forum it hit me; over 90% of what I advocate there can be reduced to overcoming a fear of rejection.

  • as a Man, based on gender alone, you will experience rejection far more than any woman ever will. If that sounds like a bold statement let me clarify that, you should experience rejection more than any woman.

[–]1keepitpimpin 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I get rejected all the time. I also get bitches all the time. Idgaf. Life is way to short to ever trip over a bitch.

Have abundance.

[–]TRPGYBB 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This post right here, is the only post i actually need. After reading TRP for ages, this is the final one. You just gotta do it, and keep doing it. Reading more guides wont help, just make you overthink things even more.

[–]SterlingEastwood 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Holy shit. I don't know how you do it, but you guys always speak to me when I face some bigger or smaller adversity. Thank you.

you’re letting her be the man, which is about as sexy as a yeast infection

Yup, I've learnt it before while dancing. I, as the man have to lead (in salsa, but I guess it's like that in other types of dance, too) and there's either two ways of having a bad time:

  1. I can't lead properly --> she takes over --> boom

  2. She stiff arms you and doesn't let herself to be lead (this is a thing, mostly among rookies though) --> next

be thankful for the girls that refrain from wasting your time by rejecting you

Some of the best advice out there. I'd almost be thankful for those girls if they rejected me properly in the end...but unfortunately that's too much to expect from them

[–]1favours_of_the_moon 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Watch young grade school kids. When you were young, you were just bird dogging these girls. You walk up alone to their little group, and just by your talk you make them SCATTER.

idgaf

[–]Tallsmarthandsome -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Men are not afraid of rejection. Men are afraid of women being welcoming, getting a drink, going on a date, falling in love, getting married, having kids....and THEN she rejects you, and takes your kids, your house, your life.

[–]apexofexcellence -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I used to get so butt-hurt when a girl rejected me. Now I just laugh it off because it's really nothing to worry about. Even if your aren't going to get laid by that girl, it's always good to practice approaching to overcome approach anxiety and just learn what works and what doesn't.

[–]MichaelSpartan -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Glad to see this post after reading about the guy who couldn't get girls to text him back. This post represents the flip side of his argument and all the sweat in between.

I get signs, yet I still find myself looking for the right time, rather than continuing the build-up I've made in the field. If I had any doubt, it's erased. You can't depend on weaseling your way into the girls' pants. You can't depend on the safe feeling of her (your mother) being there the morning after.

I'm ultimately still in the outer edges of BP, but thanks OP and others for filling in the gaps, though I know it's a pain in the ass and personal. Some of us are still blind to certain aspects of not just RP, but interpersonal relations, male roles, and then some. But you gave me a kick forward, and I intend to make something of it. I know I'm better than before, but I'm going to test my boundaries, knowing that no matter what, I can still do better for myself.

[–]ejpusa -5ポイント-4ポイント  (2子コメント)

Seems to me you can replace woman with man, pretty much every sentence here. :-)

[–]Shuttlekilla 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Would it make a difference?

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Heterosexual guys aren't trying to figure out ways to fuck other men. And the red pill isn't in the business of random posts about humans in general. You are entirely off topic with your "men, too" comment.