It started like most Saturdays for many months now, first some morning sex, some pretty great sex to be specific. Cooked some bacon, took a bike ride, told the wife we were going to a movie tonight after some shopping, completed our chores/projects, lifted, and then sat down for some Olympics with wife. Then my wife tried to apply some dread.

 

First though some recent background

Found the RP 11 months ago, and been slowly dissolving the jagged pill. The changes to myself and my marriage have been solid and steadily building after an initial 3-4 month lag where nothing much seem to gain any traction. However, as recently as a month ago I was still occasionally losing internal frame mostly over whether my wife could ever become the person I thought I married and wanted back. I got a lot of good advice on this sub two months ago that the woman I thought I had was never there due to a combination of the blue goggles and her taking my shape to an unsustainable degree. Three weeks ago, while lifting, I just came to terms with this as a fact. I cannot change her that much. I will either accept it or I won’t, those are my options.

During the same lift, I had the following epiphany that has finally moved my frame squarely into the middle of me. The goal of my MAP, relative to my marriage, should be to end the marriage. My goal should be to become a single man that can slay every single component of my life. This doesn’t mean I ignore my wife. Rather, she is my current partner in my RP training. If she makes it into the championship, swell….if she doesn’t oh well. For me, this is the way to kill the mother of all covert contracts that was my MAP. This mental model was influenced by the post on “The Gift” and the referenced Rollo post. The most perplexing concept for me all along has been the man that “just gets it”. In other words, what the fuck am I supposed to just get? What he just gets at the deepest levels of his psyche is HE IS PRIZE and he NEED NOT QUALIFY HIMSELF TO ANYONE. A covert contract or expectation on the success or failure of my marriage is anathema to “just getting it”. I modified my MAP accordingly in the days following as described in this week’s OYS.

The change in mental model has had a profound effect on my frame. My OI, which has been tested on both sex and in terms of being “that woman I fell for”, has been effortless since. My mental state has been calm and mission focused with zero interruption of this frame. My best description is that I see things happen rather than feeling them happen.

Two weeks ago, the wife started a temporary assignment in one of her company’s contractor-processing facilities taking her from an office environment filled with people (mostly women) I know to a new environment filled with a bunch of blue-collar rednecks. Back in my BP days this would have sent me into mate guarding orbit. I would have been calling her for a bunch for bullshit reasons, been waiting for to get home from work so I could “interview” her, and generally freaking out over Chad. I would try to be surreptitious; but I know now she saw through this facade and what she saw was very unattractive. On the other hand, I think women take a little, albeit disgusted, satisfaction from so obviously taming a man. Nothing of the kind happened this time. I gave zero fucks, made zero calls, and although she was getting home much later I was still not there because I was out doing my thing. While I no longer fantasize about divorce, if she wants to hand it to me on a silver platter I will laugh all the way to the pussy bank with my kidos firmly in tow.

Last week, I went to high-school sport parents meeting. Lots of (now) typical IOI in meeting. We are leaving school and run into a guy my wife knows and two random MILFs. One of the MILFs opens me, we start talking going from one subject to another. One of the MILFs touches my arm, I start countdown in head, and 4 seconds later the other MILF touches other arm. Wife's conversation runs out, I am still going. She comes over and wraps her arm around mine; and ask if I am ready to go. Sure...say bye to MILFS. In the van, she ask how I know those women. I said I did not know them, but just met them. She said "sure did seem like they knew you". I said "yeah, I know, that happens a lot now". The look on her face was fucking priceless. I have been lightly gaming women in our social circles and women I randomly meet, and it has consistently had the expected positive effect on her demeanor. However, this was the first time she has witnessed random women hitting on me. I woke up that night to find her crawling on top of me. With the exception of a 4-day shark attack last Saturday-Tuesday, she has been on the dick every day since. Add in a little pool party dread-boost on Wednesday for good measure.

My point in this background is that although I have been laying on the dread consistently for many months now; it has only been several weeks since my mental state has been psychologically congruent with the dread. We like to “fake it until you make it” around these parts, but understand this faking it is for you and your confidence, not her. She likely sees through your faking because she is a highly evolved frame detector, a Tingle-o-meter if you will. The fact that she goes along with your charade only indicates she is not a complete cunt and/or has some respect for you.

 

Wife Dreads me………

Ms. Persaeus drove my jacked diesel truck to work on Friday because SIL and I took her van to pick up the boy from summer camp. She had to go back to main office; and apparently rolled into the contractor parking lot right as a bunch of operators and a young Chad engineer (Chadgineer) were coming back from lunch. She has mentioned Chadgineer a few times since starting this assignment in typical woman-speak (he’s so smart, he’s so nice, etc.): Translation – he’s hawt and making me tingle.

We are watching the Olympics, she starts to talk, and so I mute the TV

Wife: blah…blah…essentially setting up the interaction with Chadgineer

Me: yeah

Wife: I jumped out of your truck and all these guys and Chadgineer came over and asked me “what is such a little girl doing in such a big truck”

Me: really

Wife: I told them it was my husband’s truck

Me: yep

Wife: Chadgineer really liked your truck. He had to look at the engine and blah blah about Chad loving my truck.

Me: it’s a nice truck for sure

Wife: he asked me to take him for a drive in your truck, but I told him I was too busy

Me: really

Wife: so what do you think about that? (at this point her body language is showing annoyance at my lack of reaction….should mention the whole time I am eating a can of Reddi-Whip with a spoon)

Me: tell Chadgineer if he will take you lock, stock, and barrel; I will throw in the truck

Wife: you’re an Asshole….and grabs Reddi-Whip can out of my hand

Me: yep…and turns volume back up on TV

Her: pouting and eating Reddi-Whip

This was my first “you’re an Asshole”; and I was so proud in that moment. We chill out some more like nothing happened. I go to pool for a couple hours and come back to get ready for our movie. On our way out the door, she bends over to pick her purse up off the floor. I run over, grab her hips, give her a couple dry humps, and then slap her. She just looks back and with a smile says “you’re so bad”….”yes I am”. She doesn’t even remember 9 months ago when I started slapping her ass in the kitchen and she came completely unglued telling me I should never do that again.

 

I Dread wife………

Went to clothing store to pick up some thing for a hiking trip we are taking next week. We each have a couple items; and are walking towards the dressing rooms (the kind with a gal that “checks you in”). These rooms have these cool mirror/light setup that I swear adds a couple points to your SMV. Approaching, I ask her if she would like to join me so we can evaluate the fit of each other’s clothes. She declines “I don’t think so buddy”, me “your loss”.

We go in, separately, and of course I am out way before her. Sitting there, a hot MILF walks up with her teenage daughter. We give each other a good eye fucking as she approaches. Teenage daughter goes into dressing room. I am seated-waiting, and she walks over and says “hi”. Turns out she just moved back to area; and her daughter is same age as mine. I am on about my 3rd elderly ramble topic when wife comes out, comes over, and says “hello” to the woman. It’s the “who the hell are you” kind of hello. I say to MILF, “I am sorry, I did not get your name yet”, MILF answers, and I introduce my wife and tell wife how MILF’s daughter is going to ‘our’ high school. MILF seems a little surprised at WIFE since I had just been gaming her; and I had my ring-hand covered with garments.

We checkout and head over to local GNC (health/nutrition food store). Oh look who’s working the GNC, it’s the 28yo HB8 from BJJ that has been really flirty with me the last several months. She doesn’t disappoint and is openly flirting with me while we discuss the merits of product, catch up on BJJ gossip (I have not been to BJJ for 2 weeks due to surgery), the whole time she is intermittently touching my arms and shoulders. Wife interviews me about BJJ babe on way to movie.

We go into movie a little late missing previews, and it was about 1/3 full. As were watching the movie, she just keeps getting closer to the point where she has her hand in my lap, I have my arm around her shoulder, and we are watching cheek to cheek. About half-way through movie, I thought to myself “what would she do if I started making out with her right here”. You know we are both 47yo, been together 25+ years; and I am pretty sure I have not made out with a girl in a movie theater since high school. I said fuck it, and moved in. We made out for the rest of the movie like two horny teenagers, she is rubbing my dick through my shorts, and I am alternating between grabbing her tits and rubbing her clit. We gave zero fucks that there were people around.

Needless to say, when we got home I picked her up and carried her to bed. This coming week is pre-ovulation week……should be exciting. Self-improvement and RP to the grave.

TDLR: Dread your wife with complete psychological and physical (i.e. be jacked) congruence; and she will submit.