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[NY] Ex-Girlfriend is threatening to press charges against me because I "manipulated" her into getting an abortion. (self.legaladvice)

filerman が 投稿

My ex-girlfriend ended up getting pregnant and I was not nearly prepared to be a father. I knew that belligerence would only hurt the situation so I knew that false sincerity and acting like I supported her were my best options.

I tried my hardest to convince her to abort, and said that I loved her and that we could even end having two kids down the road if she wanted. I told her that the two of us were just starting our lives together and couldn't take on the financial responsibility of a child (this isn't true, I'm the beneficiary of a trust fund, but I told her my parents were dead). I told her that if she got an abortion now, we'd be able to plan our futures together so that everything went perfectly.

She agreed to this, and ended up deciding to get an abortion. I thanked the gods for my luck, and took her to the clinic, dropped her off at her house, then cut all contact with her and said that we were finished.

She started texting me non-stop and left twenty voicemessages on my phone. She said that I was an asshole, and that she was going to press charges for my "heartless" actions.

I was just planning on blowing her off, but now I'm concerned. Can she really press charges for this? Did I do anything illegal? Am I going to need a criminal attorney?

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[–]Cypher_BlueQuality Contributor 47ポイント48ポイント  (0子コメント)

She cannot "press charges" against anyone for anything.

She can report the incident to the police, who may or may not take a report. They may or may not present the case to the prosecutor's office who may or may not issue charges.

The prosecutor is the only one who can "press charges."

That's unlikely because I see no criminal act here on your part.

She could also sue you- if she does, then file a response and attend the required court dates.

[–]NapalmenatorQuality Contributor 175ポイント176ポイント  (137子コメント)

Well, you are an asshole but no she cannot charge you with a crime. Not illegal to be an asshole.

[–]Biondina 83ポイント84ポイント  (1子コメント)

Jesus Christ. Do the world a favor and don't ever procreate, even when you decide you can.

[–]oxandcart 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis. Omg.

[–]_silentheartsong 46ポイント47ポイント  (50子コメント)

You're an asshole. Unfortunately, a legally clear asshole.

[–]swalsh411Quality Contributor 95ポイント96ポイント  (67子コメント)

The Council Of Supreme Assholes just called, they want you to be their new Chairman. But you didn't break any laws trust fund boy.

[–]ContextOfAbuse 35ポイント36ポイント  (1子コメント)

Wait, they fired Zapopa?!

[–]swalsh411Quality Contributor 26ポイント27ポイント  (0子コメント)

He was just the secretary. Never trusted with a leadership position.

[–]RinHato 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thread title is misleading. It should read:

"My ex-girlfriend is threatening to press charges against me because I emotionally abused and manipulated her for my own gain"

[–]mtws25 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

A

S

S

H

O

L

E

[–]yankeecandle1 21ポイント22ポイント  (5子コメント)

Wow. This guy sounds exactly like my ex. Exactly. Except I refused to get the abortion.

[–]RittlessWonder -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good for you. Seriously. On standing up for your choice, and for dropping the toxic ex.

[–]Eeech 47ポイント48ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dude, your writing style looks like you took a shit after eating a thesaurus. You're not impressing anyone.

[–]IxamxUnicron 25ポイント26ポイント  (2子コメント)

Dear lord did you at least PAY for the poor girls abortion?

[–]TypingWithoutPants 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh bless your heart that you think he even considered it, let alone did it.

[–]Shadow_Jedi 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

/r/jesuschristreddit

[–]cyanocobalamin 13ポイント14ポイント  (6子コメント)

I don't think you have any legal worries.

Karma might be another issue.

In the future, honesty is the best policy.

I think if you simply told your ex you didn't want children, period, you would have ended up in the same spot, her feelings still hurt, but you would not have hurt her nearly as much as you did with bullshitting her about a future before dumping her.

I think you could benefit a lot by volunteering to help people in need.

You might consider sending an honest apology to your ex. When the legal stuff goes away, send her the other half of the abortion fee, and make a charitable donation in her name.

Good Luck.

[–]Krystalraev 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

This might be the only saving grace this guy could have, but he won't do it. Self sacrifice isn't in his nature.

I hope you have kids though. The world needs more of this rhetoric.

[–]filerman[S] -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I will not fall on a sword because she has some hurt feelings. If "self-sacrifice" means letting someone kill me on a cross like I'm Jesus fucking Christ himself, then you can count me out.

[–]stillphat 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This probably the only constructive comment I've seen here.

[–]filerman[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

I actually donate to the global fund for women, Michael J. Fox Foundation, and the ACLU.

[–]cyanocobalamin 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

That is good, but that is for you.

Your challenge is to start thinking of other people and for their own sake.

Do the things I suggested, it will be a start.

[–]icebergmama 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

You lied to her to ensure that she would go through with a traumatic surgery and make a decision that could have lifelong effects on her mental and emotional wellbeing. Did you even TRY just asking her if she would have an abortion, or consider putting up the child for adoption?

I hope she finds this post and connects the dots and is somehow able to sue you for breach of promise. It won't undo any negative effects the abortion may have had on her, but it would feel like justice.

[–]HoneyBaked 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

I hope this goes viral, she gets wind of it and rains hellfire down upon your life. I have my popcorn ready.

[–]filerman[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

I somehow doubt this as a possibility. According to mutual friends she is currently not doing very well. She was binging on alcohol and had to be hospitalized today after she downed a whole bunch of pills.

[–]HoneyBaked 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fair enough. Correcting the above: I hope this goes viral, people get wind of it and rain hellfire down upon your life and/or you get hit by a bus. And your lack of civil liability isn't as assured as you hope. I have my popcorn ready.

[–]Trish2Three 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

hey, worst thing that can happen is her feelings get hurt right?

[–]0theHumanity 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

It's called pro-choice as in HER body. Not pro-be-conned-into-an-abortion it's not even called pro-abortion.

She can sue you for emotional alienation and an unnecessary medical procedure. (abortions aren't medically necessary) also pain and suffering because surgical abortions are painful. You said you paid for the procedure, but did you pay for the pain?

It's a free country so anyone can sue. It is whether they win that has yet to be seen. You are basically a monster. The right lawyer can find the proper charges and name them accordingly.

[–]filerman[S] -5ポイント-4ポイント  (1子コメント)

You are basically a monster

Could you be any more dramatic? Anyone can sue for whatever they want, but it doesn't mean they won't be laughed out of court.

[–]0theHumanity 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

That is what "remains to be seen" means. Have you heard of judicial precedence. Im sure there is no female equivalent to doing this to a guy, but if it existed, damn skimpy a male victim would sue.

I guess it would be like agreeing to marry someone if they get a vasectomy. Then breaking up with them while they're still sitting on frozen peas. I mean yeah it's reversible, but there is pain and suffering. Any woman who would do that to a man would also be a monster.

Yeah, a man can and should sue for that. Or are men so strong willed and unmalliable that they could never fall for something so stupid?

It's not OK to prey on people period.

[–]weedXeat 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nah OP. No crime committed. You're good. Legally at least. Not sure about morally/ethically.

[–][削除されました]  (2子コメント)

[removed]

    [–]demystQuality Contributor[M] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):

    Violation of Common Decency

    • Posts containing primarily negative comments, and lacking in advice, will be summarily removed without warning. Users who are consistent problems will be banned. Post to help, not to flame.

    If you feel this was in error, message the moderators.

    [–]SSapplejack -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    what in the actual fuck is wrong with you.

    [–]BetteRouge -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

    You manipulated her, and then dumped her. In another thread you tell a woman who had a baby (without the penis holder's approval) that you hope she falls down some stairs. Not only are you an asshole, you're a sociopath. You don't deserve any advice. You're a TERRIBLE person. A person you'd cross the road to avoid. You should be ashamed of yourself, but you're proud of your cruel ingenuity. I wish you nothing but bad luck and misfortune.

    [–]RittlessWonder -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I submit that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a better fit for his flavour of asshole. Sociopaths tend not to worry about explaining the things they take pride in to complete strangers, nor do they feel the need to defend themselves from the comments of others while paradoxically attempting to treat the entire discourse as below them. Classic hallmarks. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20025568

    [–]trashcancasual -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Sociopath and psychopath also aren't diagnosed, they're referring to antisocial personality disorder, which isn't a good fit here.

    [–]dissenting_opinion61 -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    All you people discussing the morality of the situation need to stay in your lane. This is /r/legaladvice, not /r/moraladvice. Your moral beliefs have no place here.

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