全 36 件のコメント

[–]SecularNotLiberal26/F/Essure Scheduled 8ポイント9ポイント  (9子コメント)

If one is practicing casual sex, men or women, then you shouldn't trust the other partner at all in terms of birth control and protection. Why the hell would you?? You're in a casual relationship, you don't really know the other person, and they are probably screwing other people. So don't do it. Always use condoms, no matter what anyone says.

[–]SailorMercureFrenchie Mod 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

"Men are trustworthy, as they have more to lose, than women." is OP's stance. I'm conflicted about the post: it's useful for our less informed subscribers but I dislike the OP.

[–]whereismysafespace_[S] -3ポイント-2ポイント  (1子コメント)

it's useful for our less informed subscribers but I dislike the OP.

I noticed that kind of behavior. At least you're outright about it, which I respect. Whenever I post about scientific or technical information (usually factual), and at first I get people giving me positive feedback about my posts. Then someone notices my post history in more moral or political oriented subreddits, and somehow my positive scores vanish and hordes of redditors come in just to point it out.

Funniest part is I've seen that happen to people just people they were /r/childfree posters in other places. I felt like people on this specific sub would be more willing to discuss the content of my post than issues with whatever I post in other places.

[–]SailorMercureFrenchie Mod 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ad hominem is Redditors' most powerful tool against people. Not because a Redditor is a victim of ad hominems that it will necessarily keep them from using it against somebody else.

[–]whereismysafespace_[S] -5ポイント-4ポイント  (2子コメント)

You're totally right. Unlike what some commenters here tried to imply, it's not misoginy (or misandry) to distrust even any partner (not just casual ones) and wanting to protect yourself no matter what.

[–]SecularNotLiberal26/F/Essure Scheduled 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's misogyny/misandry to imply that one gender is more trustworthy (or more devious) than the other.

It's a little unequal because women, unlike men, have many options to prevent pregnancy and can also terminate pregnancy. Men only have condoms or vasectomies and the fact of the matter is, it's easier as a woman to lie about being on birth control. But the fact of the matter is, both parties can lie, about birth control and STD status. So you must not trust anyone's word when you're having casual sex.

[–]whereismysafespace_[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's misogyny/misandry to imply that one gender is more trustworthy (or more devious) than the other.

It's never what my post was about.

But the fact of the matter is, both parties can lie, about birth control and STD status. So you must not trust anyone's word when you're having casual sex.

I wholeheartedly agree. It's just a post that was geared towards contraception for men, so the issue would be being confronted with dishonest women, or honest ones who mess up their contraception, neither of which you should trust.

[–]HareTrinity -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

I think you're over-generalising a tad... Some people are more picky about their casual sex partners than others are about who they date.

"Casual sex" isn't just one-night stands with strangers.

[–]SecularNotLiberal26/F/Essure Scheduled 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Sure, but it's also not in the context of an exclusive relationship, which means that each person can fool around with others - and you have no idea what (if any) STDs are lurking on their parts. So why take the risk?

[–]HareTrinity 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Again, this might be someone you've been great friends with for months or longer, all because you're not exclusively dating them doesn't mean you're banging someone who doesn't care about their own sexual health and considers you disposable.

Sure, there's no way you can be 100%, but that applies to relationships and marriages too.

In my experience, sexually active people who haven't had an STD test recently don't mind being asked to get one (especially if you're willing to accompany them to the clinic if they're nervous).

[–]Luminaria1925F/Salpingectomy/AMA 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

Good info. Would note that the rhythm method also requires a very regular cycle for it to be effective, not just trust in your partner. It's for that reason that I never recommend using it alone as a large number of things can change a women's cycle, including exercise (starting, stopping, or changing a routine), stress, diet, and age.

I'm with everyone else cringing at the MGTOW mention. Though, at least it's not incel/trucel...

[–]whereismysafespace_[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

You make a good point.

Though (for simplicity's sake) when I mentionned rythm, I was generalizing. I included some methods like the symptothermal method use a combination of biological signs (temperature + cervical secretions). Not just counting days (calendar based methods tend to suck badly in terms of effectiveness, and require perfectly aligned cycles).

The more complex methods still have bad effectiveness on average, because they require to be very thorough about your measurements, and apply decision rules (plus have no sex, or safe sex during the "forbidden" days).

But when you focus on people using a "natural" contraception method based on measuring 2 or 3 variables, doing it right, and respecting all the rules, you get 99+% of effectiveness, independent of cycle regularity.

Of course if you're with the kind of woman who would already forget a daily pill for instance, relying on those methods would be very risky. But for a woman who is very thorough and trusts herself, it could be a good option in a commited relationship.

BTW I removed everything remotely MGTOW related, and expanded the female (or long term relationship) oriented paragraphs (but I can't change the post title).

[–]Luminaria1925F/Salpingectomy/AMA 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I know the method can be very effective. I just also know I attempted to track my own cycle pre-sterilization (via symptothermal method) and there was so little consistency, it most definitely would not have worked for me. Maybe I would've found some secret key to making it work eventually, but I tracked for about half a year and was never able to accurately predict anything from it.

Best of luck to anyone who decides to use it though. :)

[–]whereismysafespace_[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I see it as a method to use (by itself) only in a long term relationship, where a surprise pregnancy would either be accepted and not considered a burden, or terminated early. Definitely not a single person's best first choice ever.

[–]SailorMercureFrenchie Mod[M] 9ポイント10ポイント  (4子コメント)

Relying on a woman's honesty is never a good bet, and if you're browsing that sub I assume you already agree with that statement.

Hooray for misogyny. Removed.

[–]whereismysafespace_[S] -4ポイント-3ポイント  (3子コメント)

Sorry can I edit that part, I forgot about it when I copied and pasted. I just wanted to make a post for guys (who don't want to rely on someone else to ease their mind).

[–]SailorMercureFrenchie Mod 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's your post, you are free to edit the misogyny all right.

[–]SailorMercureFrenchie Mod -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

Your post has been reinstated.

[–]whereismysafespace_[S] -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks. I did a deeper edit than just what I said at first so it's not really a xpost anymore anyway.

[–][削除されました]  (1子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]whereismysafespace_[S] -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Some posters are kind of intense. But at it's core, it's about men wanting the single lifestyle (not wanting long term relationships, live-in partners...). Some become asexual (and there's a fair number of misogynists), but a lot of the posters there still enjoy heterosexual casual sex.

    [–]OfficialFrenchToast_21/F/Crazy cat lady. 10ポイント11ポイント  (10子コメント)

    An interesting post, but I could do without the blatant misogyny and implying that all women are dishonest. And if you're an avid reader of MGTOW, that really says a lot about you and what you think of women.

    [–]Novashadow115 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Rip OP. Too much controversy

    [–]whereismysafespace_[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Yeah I should have deleted the first version, and reposted this one, instead of editing in place, since I can't remove the original title with the triggering reference to /r/MGTOW.

    [–]Novashadow115 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Probably not so smart but the controversy is pretty fun

    [–]whereismysafespace_[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I've got to admit this thread is very funny. I post about not trusting your partner to be always honest or competent when it comes to contraception, so men should be always have the means to take care of the problem by themselves by using their own condoms : misoginy because how dare I suggest women are not trustworthy!

    A woman somewhere else in the threads says that you should never trust a partner (especially a casual one) in terms of contraception and STDs, and says condoms should be used regardless of whatever your partner tells you : she makes sense, how could anyone disagree with her!