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yet another mgtow (self.MGTOW)

always_a_choice が 投稿

summary: Indian, 31, fell in love, married, walking off his marriage.

When you got no clear idea of life, you conveniently fall for the formula: Study-work hard- save for a home- impress women- settle in life.

This is a formula that is a convenience to the current (flawed) concept of living life. However illogical it may sound. This is like how nobody wants the current debt cycle to burst. The Gubmint has made us all partners in their crime by allowing the real estate and housing valuation to inflate. If you ask for some sanity, you get the threat of losing your savings wiped off by another recession. I'm digressing.

'I tried to keep her happy'

The above sentence has got no meaning. Happiness is a state of mind. You can't keep someone happy. You need a feel of contentedness with life, either partial or full to be happy, which i find, most women lacking. I was tired of taking leisure trips with her, when she, instead of relaxing, keeps swiping the facebook feed. Constantly updating me with what we should do in the next vacation. Europe tour. Infinity pool. bla bla. Women live the moment- my foot.

If you pick/get a girl from the conservative east and think mgrow/redpill is all a temporary haze, you only need to give it some time. The bluepill society/movies/soap operas/advertisements will infect that cunt and in no time, you get to enjoy the shorter end of the stick. ''i told you so''.

The problem with this apparently flawed approach of ''keep finding till you get the soul mate'' is, over time, depression and such mental illness creeps in. It's that feel of anguish over wasted years and lost opportunities. You refuse to give up- either it's the ego, or the 'all's well with blue pill'' belief that keeps u still registering in every new dating/match making site. This will make you lose the ennui for life. That's why the earlier you become the mgtow, more the merrier. Glad i didn't have kids in this marriage. I have lost a significant $$$ from my savings in this marriage but still it's better late than never.

The promises that blue pill made you are like those words in the sales pamphlet. 'modern luxury flat surrounded by gardens and cascades'. When you move in and sit back in that couch and think, you realize it is much ado about nothing. Oh yes the wife wouldn't let you sit there and think about it; it would be always getting the artful window curtain, bigger car or another trip. More expenses and you dragged into this capitalist mode, and when you work your ass of making money, later you are accused of 'you've changed a lot', or 'you don't love me anymore' or worse, 'i found love somewhere else'.

Bring kids into this and the soup thickens. You either think of financial burden and put up with it or find solace with convenient quotes like '' i see happiness through my child's eyes '' oh yeah.

No offense to those with kids, but there's no rule that you gotta burn to make someone happy.

Nobody can give you a better opinion, judgement, idea to solve your life's problems than the person whom you see in the mirror. He is the one whom you always talked to. Have a honest 1-1 with him.

It doesn't feel right. This is not the way to live. Thinking about it, this is not the perfect system. This blue pill society is something that is a sad excuse for a world that still uses religion to hold it's shit together.

I was blank and was apprehensive of living a single life for the rest of my life. This is where diary writing helps. You only need to read your history to understand why it all happened.

It's a lonely path. The charm in it is, it is undefined. It is like the moment when Cooper squeezed his heart to bid goodbye to his young Murph before taking off from earth(interstellar movie reference). Hope i fill it with pleasant memories and full of life.

Remember, choosing MGTOW is only a decision making phase of life. You need not keep justifying why you did it all the time. There used to be a rage and hatred against women in me, but now i simply don't care. It is a fucking huge world, with lots to learn. It's always a choice.

Best wishes to those who still have faith and think blue pill is the way forward. Your experiences are the reason why i am here.

ps: i just kept typing, please excuse the imperfections.

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[–]ursus_thibetanus 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's a lot of truth in this post; welcome brother.

Happiness is a state of mind. You can't keep someone happy.

If only more people accepted this truth. Another point I make is that only you can control your happiness.

[–]solaceFromSolitude 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

For me, the most important realization is that men, being human too, have as much right as women to stop and think about what makes them happy and act accordingly. From personal experience I know that making a woman happy is 1) impossible and 2) does not gratify me. I have experienced that women are quite unlikely to compromise. They do not strive to get a fair deal out of a relationship. All they want is more, more, MORE!

Setting your woman down to address this will usually piss her off and get you nowhere. Women say often how much they would love it if men would speak about their feelings; And yet when you do, they feel personally attacked. ("I feel unhappy, because I feel like I am just a tool to you, that you can command to solve a problem for you.") Also, "modern" women want everything to be "fair", meaning she wants to guilt you into doing as much work as possible. When I was in my last relationship, she would work 25 hours whereas I would work 40-50 hours a week. Then on top of that I should do HALF the house hold work. She would often work on the weekends, which would mean I would have to take care of the kids. When she was free during the week, the kids would at least be at school until 2-4pm. On top of that I had to drive her around all the time as she refused to get her driver's license; she plainly said driving is "men's work". Guess what happened when I told her that when I get home from work I would like my woman to have cooked me a decent meal as that is "woman's work"? Right. She flipped out and could not even begin to speak about a compromise. So in practice, I had no free time. Absolutely no time to wind down and do anything that even remotely resembled a hobby.

I got the worse part of the deal by a large margin. There was no fairness in any of this. She was basically a parasite and as soon as I realized it, I reduced the time I spent trying to make her happy. Instead I started doing things I liked. Her threats no longer affected my wellbeing as I would simply smile and ignore them. Nothing pissed her off than seeing she was no longer able to piss me off.

It took me a while to draw the ultimate conclusion from all this as I was still thinking there could be a suitable woman out there for me. I used to be a guy helping out women all the time. I stopped doing that completely and I just point it out when women ask me to do anything for them. "My heating broke. Could you have a look at it?" I will plainly answer with: "I am not a repair man. Please get a professional to look at it.".

With regards to kids (I have two), I do not consider them a burden although I do take care of them most of the time. I do not work particularly hard to make them happy. It is actually an opportunity to teach them the value of things and teach them to be grateful for the little things. And boy, do they love the little things. In turn, I thoroughly enjoy seeing them grow up, getting their own personalities et cetera.

Am I MGTOW? I am not sure and honestly I do not care for the label. I try to do what I like and try to be the best person I can be, on my own terms, living with the past as luggage I carry with me. Some of it good, some of it bad, but most of all; The path I took and was forced to take put me here in the end. I can imagine it could have been different. I could have been stuck in the plantation for all of my life. The added burden of kids in a relationship probably actually freed me from slavery sooner, because the extra work heaped on me broke my proverbial back quite quickly and made me see there was no such thing as "fairness" in the relationship with this woman.

I am grateful for that.

[–]TimeTravel101 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well said. Keeping a woman happy is impossible because it is never enough. You give her 10 things and she'll complain about the 11th thing that you didn't give her.

At the end of the day, happiness is not something that others give you just because he is your husband or boy friend. You trade what you can give (sex, cheer, house work, love, cooking) for what he can give you (money, shelter, protection, emotional caretaking). And then you find happiness in what you get. Nobody can just give you happiness. That's not the way it works.