Hey brother.

The meditation is a good start. If you're not doing it already, look up Samatha meditation. It's one of the two Buddhist meditation practices. It's easy, can be done anywhere, and is the equivalent of doing pushups for your conscious, emotional control. Life changing stuff.

I was in your shoes at one point. Brutally wronged by a woman who I had sacrificed eight years, most of my 20's and a shit load of life opportunities for. Within a month of our breaking up, she was shacked up with her Back Up Guy.

Won't go into details, but I wound up with a really great opportunity for vengeance. Like, would have ruined that relationship of hers as well as jeopardized her career. It would have been sweet, and I could have gotten away with it.

And for a long, loooong time I struggled with whether or not I should do it.

And in the end, I didnt. Why?

Because I realized that there's only so much we can control in our lives. And that our lives are stories, playing out. Finite, with only so much that can be done in the brief time we have. Good, bad, constructive, destructive, the things we do add up to define our lives and who we are. If you are angry, bitter and vengeful all the time, you will, by definition, become an angry, bitter and vengeful type of person.

And who does that hurt?

You. Just you.

Ultimately, your life and choices now are about you. Not her, you. And the kind of person you are crafting yourself to be.

If I'd taken that vengeance, against someone who I had loved and who had loved me in turn, what kind of person would that make me? No matter how justified by her past actions. I would still be making a deliberate choice to introduce more negativity, pain and suffering into the world. Not just unto her, but unto myself (in fact, more than anything unto myself).

I decided that wasn't what I wanted, or who I wanted to be. Sure, the feelings are still there, but reaching these perspectives and conclusions is the best way to resolve them. Meditation helps a lot as it teaches you how to monitor your thoughts - realize the course they are taking - and make adjustments as necessary.

That is what you should be cultivating.

Ignore this crazy bitch. She is a thing of the past and you know all you need to know about her and her character. Women will always try to provoke a reaction even if they want nothing else. Your hindbrain might not understand that, but your conscious brain does, and that's where the aforementioned skills found in meditation come in handy.

If you haven't already start working out. It's 99% overcoming psychological hangups and social fears, 1% lifting weights the correct way - and you live in the information age, there are tons of great guides to get started. The feedback you will get from yourself and others once you see results will wash away any care you might have for one paltry, stupid woman.

We're all going to make it, bro.