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Pre-Season Roast: Man Utd (self.soccer)

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[–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 2315ポイント2316ポイント x2 (395子コメント)

Every kid who grew up in the UK from the early 90s until very recently, no matter their location, had United fans in their class group. Going on about their trophies and their good players. How they were a special, the Trafford 'More than a Club'.

United fans will accuse City fans and Chelsea fans of being plastic when they were one of the first clubs to hollow out football, corporatise it, sanitise it, turn it into the corporate driven shell it is now where their fans agonise over noodle deals and boast about their financial wealth through Ed Woodward like Trimalchio at his dinner. The hypocrisy of United fans moaning about Man City's atmosphere when 'prawn sandwich brigade' was coined to sum up their iPad-touting, selfie-stick supporters with their Selfridges bags is not unnoticed.

The last few years when winning has been a struggle has seen a kind of martyrdom from their supporters, as if their massive transfer fees not fully working give them some sort of sympathy. All this has done has turned them into slightly more obnoxious Arsenal fans. The fact they've allied behind a manager whom had a meltdown live on TV after Steven Davies embarrassed his coterie of Russian-financed matrioshka dolls and a player whose outbursts have made him a meme for pudgy slightly racist 14 year old videogamers show their desperation.

[–]Atlético MadridDornitz 644ポイント645ポイント  (67子コメント)

Hey man, i thought this was for fun.

[–]KurtCobanus 43ポイント44ポイント  (0子コメント)

I had fun.

[–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 654ポイント655ポイント  (62子コメント)

In case you hadn't gathered, I am not fond of Man United.

I find the hate for Chelsea and to a lesser extent City on /r/soccer funny - in real life everyone I know really really hates United

[–]Liverpoolartie_fresh 370ポイント371ポイント  (2子コメント)

I like you, you're good people.

[–]Manchester CityBlackIronSpectre 16ポイント17ポイント  (0子コメント)

The one thing that brings together Liverpool and Manchester, hated of southerners

[–]Liverpoolscottalus 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

He's good people.

[–]Manchester CityExCrack 91ポイント92ポイント  (1子コメント)

wanna grab a beer?

[–]ArsenalNariannOP 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck that let me pay the tab this guy's fantastic

[–]Manchester UnitedPhyrion01 68ポイント69ポイント  (28子コメント)

Not fond? Mate, that piece you wrote was downright brutal and mean, which is the point here I guess, so, well done.

[–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 28ポイント29ポイント  (26子コメント)

if it's any consolation, I hate Luton more, but they're unlikely to get a roast thread on here

[–]Manchester UnitedPhyrion01 16ポイント17ポイント  (11子コメント)

It's cool mate, you can hate United with a passion, I don't mind. Hell, I can even respect it.

[–]Republic of IrelandAn0therk 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

There's nothing wrong with being hated really.. In fact it's something united fans pride themselves with

[–]Manchester Unitedgeorgie_best 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

This summer has felt like the good old days, mainly because of the hate.

[–]Manchester Unitedmanutd875 13ポイント14ポイント  (5子コメント)

Just means we're doing something right.

[–]Chelseapeon2 33ポイント34ポイント  (4子コメント)

"They hate us? Just means we're doing something right."

-Adolf Hitler

[–]Beijing GuoanxXDaNXx 29ポイント30ポイント  (1子コメント)

Leave it to the Chelsea fan to quote Hitler.

[–]ChelseaLordoftheBreifne 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

We're just using quotes to prove he isn't going back to Atletico

[–]BulkMcHugeLarge 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Say what will about Hitler but he understood hate.

コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

    [–]Manchester UnitedParkerZA 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

    It's what I fucking want, their unfiltered hatred.

    [–]Manchester Unitedwalrusunit 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    ...a United Passion

    [–]LiverpoolToasterfire 3ポイント4ポイント  (6子コメント)

    Bloody hell, I'm first in line to say Luton is the worst place in the UK but what've they done to a Wycombe supporter?

    [–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 7ポイント8ポイント  (3子コメント)

    just some very ugly experiences with some of their fans at matches.

    [–]LiverpoolToasterfire 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Aah, yes, that'll do it

    [–]Truro CitySwedishTurnip 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Could say the same about your manager to be honest. His behaviour at Home Park last season was insulting, not to mention the football that accompanied it. All the joys of League 2 I guess, God I hope Argyle finally get promoted this season.

    [–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

    He was a cock that day yes.

    [–]Chelseasquirrelbo1 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Local rivalry too. Watford also hate Luton.

    [–]LiverpoolToasterfire 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Wycombe really doesn't seem anywhere near Luton though. Feels like they should be rivals with reading or whatever Slough has

    [–]JuventusCee-Mon 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

    On Free Talk Friday we can have a sitdown and our very own Luton roast, don't you worry.

    [–]LiverpoolToasterfire 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Every day is Luton roast day

    [–]WatfordCaptain_Wozzeck 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Having been to Kenilworth Road 3 times, I share your sentiments. And none of those times was I identifiable as a Watford fan

    That said, their nosedive down the league was satisfying to see

    コメントをもっと表示する (4 返事)

      [–]Liverpooloscarony 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Mean? Lmao

      [–]Chelseaugallu 6ポイント7ポイント  (8子コメント)

      There's a reason united was rated as the #1 most hated business institution in England a few years back, behind the likes of RyanAir and a bunch of oil companies.

      [–]Manchester Unitedhurfery 9ポイント10ポイント  (3子コメント)

      Let's not pretend that's just because Utd led the commercialization of English football though!

      コメントをもっと表示する (4 返事)

        [–]Manchester Unitedvikingz0mbi3 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

        can confirm; wear my jersey at work and even customers shit on me

        [–]Liverpooldkeeper09 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Let's be friends.

        [–]Sandnes UlfEsbenT 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Damn right. Growing up in the 90's was just as you said, and I'll never forget it.

        [–]Chelseafma891 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        So /r/soccer fans aren't real?

        I fucking knew it.

        [–]Bayer 04 LeverkusenRainbowFlick 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        so you're basically me, except Man United instead of Barcelona. i like you.

        コメントをもっと表示する (14 返事)

          [–]ArsenalPlaetean 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

          I found it fun

          [–]Manchester Unitedsirwolfeye 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

          On Reddit, you'll always find people who take fun seriously

          コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

            [–]Liverpoolunusuallylethargic 747ポイント748ポイント  (4子コメント)

            This is not a friendly roast, this is a scathing attack by someone who has complete hated for everything about the club.

            I love it.

            [–]United StatesMisterBadIdea2 78ポイント79ポイント  (2子コメント)

            Jesus Christ, it's like showing up to a rap battle and shooting your opponent in the face.

            [–]AC MilanThe-Disco-Phoenix 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

            Someone needs to dub this over the final battle in 8 Mile...

            [–]Hammarby IFFrejDexter 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

            I's about putting the battle in rap battle

            [–]Manchester Citycodespyder 48ポイント49ポイント  (0子コメント)

            On one hand, it's not in keeping with the jovial spirit typically associated with a roast

            but on the other hand, fuck Man Utd, so we'll allow it.

            [–]Antigua and BarbudaVyfPetteIsKak 678ポイント679ポイント  (92子コメント)

            Magnificent.

            The total collapse of the "we're special and this is the United way" manner of thinking has been wonderful too.

            "We back our managers". "We give them time".

            Fast forward what, nine bad months and out came the planes demanding that the manager get sacked. Sensational stuff.

            Edit: I think that this actually hit a bit close to home, mate. Sterling work.

            [–]LiverpoolICritMyPants 129ポイント130ポイント  (42子コメント)

            They lucked out on one manager lasting so long. Hardly "backing the manager and never sacking anyone". He was so close to being sacked. They're going through them as fast as anyone now.

            [–]Antigua and BarbudaVyfPetteIsKak 110ポイント111ポイント  (14子コメント)

            Agree. They hired the, in my opinion, best manager in the history of the game and sculpted the club around him. Quite rightly too. They're finding it hard now that they don't have Ferguson around. He was the special entity, not United. That should be perfectly obvious.

            [–]Sri Lankajusth0nest 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

            You could argue that any club would suffer too. It's not only United, any club fortunate enough to have Fergie would definitely struggle after his departure

            [–]rocket_randall 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

            I remember when Fergie was getting on in years and people were starting to predict his eventual retirement. The United lot were crowing that their club would continue to thrive, that Fergie and the board had seen to it that they had a grand plan of succession and would ensure a smooth transition. 3 years on and 4 managers later they're a run-of-the-mill shit show where outside observers find more entertainment in the club's drama than its football.

            [–]Manchester UnitedTedK23 2ポイント3ポイント  (9子コメント)

            Fergie was United though just as United was Fergie. They were one and the same and that's the reason they were special and so successful hard to find that in today's game.

            [–]AberdeenOldGodsAndNew 10ポイント11ポイント  (3子コメント)

            Fergie was Aberdeen too, everyone forgets that we're the club he was made at, and where possibly his greatest single achievement came at :(

            [–]AC MilanThe-Disco-Phoenix 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

            What was that achievement?

            [–]Liverpoolscottalus 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

            He won the European Cup Winners Cup and the European Super Cup. I think Aberdeen beat Real Madrid and others on the way to doing it.

            コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

              [–]LiverpoolICritMyPants 12ポイント13ポイント  (4子コメント)

              United was Fergie more than Fergie was United. He was bigger than the club.

              コメントをもっと表示する (27 返事)

                [–]Manchester Unitedfrankowen18 87ポイント88ポイント  (3子コメント)

                I never bought into the ''we always back our managers'' bullshit, but can I just point out the following.

                If we stuck with a mediocre manager, the jibes would be ''hahaha United slipping into irrelevance, ho ho ho''

                If we sack him, we're ''just the same as everybody else''

                So really, in terms of troll fuel, we can't win in that situation

                [–]Antigua and BarbudaVyfPetteIsKak 69ポイント70ポイント  (0子コメント)

                But that's fine. No-one's saying that you're particularly bad, more that you're as happy to sack shit managers as everyone else. That's the exact point. Yet there are people in this very thread yantering on about special United give managers time special special patience aren't we special.

                That's the thing that winds people up. Being the same as everyone else isn't bad, it's literally just being the same as everyone else.

                [–]Franceairus92 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

                You'd be criticised for your decisions but at least not for your hypocrisy on top of that.

                [–]BarcelonaI_am_oneiros 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                The reason it is troll fuel in the first place is because your club has gone yip-yapping about 'never firing managers' so often in the past.

                Every other club sacks underperforming managers and few clubs get flak for it (only the ones who sack them irrationally like Madrid, or far too often like Palermo, get flak).

                You 'won' for 10+ years during the Fergie era, so maybe it's right that you can't win now.

                [–]Liverpoolsomeweirdguy 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

                'The United Way'

                [–]Liverpooloscarony 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                They say they can only hire managers that play the "Man United Way", but after a 2 year slump they hire the man that the majority of their fans had hated for ten years.

                コメントをもっと表示する (43 返事)

                  [–]Smished 157ポイント158ポイント  (9子コメント)

                  'prawn sandwich brigade' was coined to sum up their iPad-touting, selfie-stick supporters

                  actually, when Keane said that (Nov 2000) i don't think Selfie sticks were even a thing, and i'm not sure iPads were either.

                  [–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 137ポイント138ポイント  (1子コメント)

                  well then they would have had Palmpilots and Filofaxes but the point remains

                  [–]Smished 24ポイント25ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  i agree, i was just amazed that he said it 16 years ago tbh

                  [–]Liverpoolbraflis 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

                  These sort of roasts are my favorite, the ones that go for directly for the heart instead of dancing around.

                  [–]Australiajohnnynutman 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  In 2000? iPods weren't even a thing.

                  [–]EnglandShitmybad 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Lol, the first iPad came out 6 years ago, not 16.

                  [–]Manchester UnitedSeanige 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  iPhone wasn't a thing until 2007.

                  [–]Chicago Red Starsostermei 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  and i'm not sure iPads were either.

                  Seven years before the iPhone, nevermind the iPad.

                  [–]DundalkSpider_Riviera 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Shit man, iPods weren't even a thing when Keano said that.

                  [–]MK DonsConcreteJoe 267ポイント268ポイント  (22子コメント)

                  You only have to have a conversation with the average United fan to discover how dedicated they really are...

                  "Did you watch the game at the weekend mate?"

                  "Nah I couldn't. Was gutted!"

                  "Ah right. Good result though, eh?"

                  "...yeah..."

                  "I thought you were done for until Martial finally came to life! He's top quality, isn't he?"

                  Stares at the ground, trying to think who the fuck Martial is, hoping that the conversation soon changes to League of Legends or Naruto

                  [–]Rapid Wienmotasticosaurus 36ポイント37ポイント  (1子コメント)

                  What was Van Gaal thinking about sending Rashford in so early?

                  [–]AustraliaSpid8r 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Fing about united is, they always try an' walk it in

                  [–]Erected_naps 4ポイント5ポイント  (4子コメント)

                  Here in America it almost feel like Chelsea has replaced Manchester United as the team everyone follows.

                  [–]Newcastle UnitedFlat__Line 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

                  Man City had a spell like that here in the UK. The kids on my estate shirt colours went from red, blue to light blue. Not seen a Leicester shirt yet though.

                  [–]Liverpoolcolor_thine_fate 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  "Mar-see-all? You mean Marshall? hahaha."

                  "......"

                  [–]ArsenalShadoAngel7 13ポイント14ポイント  (8子コメント)

                  Holy shit. I've literally had this same conversation with my United supporting brother. Except he plays DOTA.

                  [–]Manchester UnitedMikeTheAverageReddit 7ポイント8ポイント  (5子コメント)

                  I started playing LoL because a few of my friends on CS play it. Can confirm no-one knows shit about sports. I think I got into 1 lobby at about 3am at night (Irish time) with some Russians & they knew nearly everything & in voice chat started typing Jack Wilshere's favourite totenham chant to the other team. They had no clue what we were doing.

                  To this day I don't tell any of my friends or anyone at my Hurling club or Football club that I play that game.

                  Also I have about 2 friends in my class who do play it, they think it should be an Olympic sport & when we did a test survey in our Transition Year class, one of the questions was
                  "Who is your favourite athlete"
                  The man put a LoL player, I died.

                  He used to be a fairly active fella as well. Used to play on my U11's team. Although as a sub most of the time, but still.

                  Not generalising the whole community just putting out my general experience.

                  [–]Bayern MünchenNtiTaiyo 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

                  To be fair, league players are classified as athletes in the US.

                  [–]Manchester UnitedMikeTheAverageReddit 7ポイント8ポイント  (3子コメント)

                  I think they get Athletes visas but that's because who gives AF to make special ones for Esports. I'm all for Esports, I follow a good few but to call them athletes is a very big stretch IMO. Also this is Ireland & as the reaction by the rest of my class, myself included it's a very unpopular opinion that they are athletes.

                  They definitely have a mind game to it & need skill (I'm shit at LoL, CS tho;) but when you have people that are overweight & need no form of physical exercise to maintain their game then I don't know how that can be classified as an athlete & in generaly diminishes from what an actual athlete is.

                  [–]Bayern MünchenNtiTaiyo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  I know what you mean, didn't want to discredit you. Just wanted to say that he isn't totally wrong in picking a league player. Most of them are really fit btw, the overweight ones are the minority in the pro teams. But to be honest, if I think about my favorite athlete, league players wouldn't come high up the list, and that is while I love watching competetive league.

                  コメントをもっと表示する (2 返事)

                    [–]ArsenalMrMarris 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

                    Fuck you for agreeing I guess?

                    [–]Manchester Unitedojajaja 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                    The hardcore LoL fans

                    [–]Cream_1 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                    This is completely wrong. I play Dota not LOL and I haven't read naruto in like 5 years.

                    コメントをもっと表示する (4 返事)

                      [–]Norwich Cityzombiejesus1991 28ポイント29ポイント  (8子コメント)

                      Hit the nail on the fucking head. As a kid having to justify supporting my local team to other fuckers at school who chose the easy options was rage-inducing.

                      Man United epitomises that and now they have the fucking gall to call out other teams.

                      [–]Aston VillaJay-Em 19ポイント20ポイント  (7子コメント)

                      I know right. And when those United fans mocked you when they beat the local club you support... to win yet another trophy when you've never seen your club win anything... few other things made me so angry. It just felt so unjust.

                      [–]Manchester Cityschmoseph 14ポイント15ポイント  (6子コメント)

                      Mate, imagine growing up with that constantly while we were shit in the second division... They even had a sign with how long it was since we last won a trophy. Made the aguero moment so much sweeter

                      [–]Arsenaleros_omorfi 12ポイント13ポイント  (4子コメント)

                      Made the aguero moment so much sweeter

                      It wasn't just you guys dude, it was all of us.

                      [–]Manchester Cityaguerrrroooooooooooo 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

                      https://youtu.be/81bv_gF4j5k :)

                      [–]Southamptondieyoubastards 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                      I can't fucking wait for the league to start again.

                      [–]Crystal PalaceGroundDweller 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                      Possibly the only goal I've ever celebrated like it was a palace player who scored it

                      コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

                        [–]Aston VillaJay-Em 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        Not especially fond of City, but that moment was a service to football for which we'll all be eternally grateful.

                        [–]Manchester Unitediamadudes 49ポイント50ポイント  (4子コメント)

                        Wow.This sounds personal

                        [–]LiverpoolToasterfire 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        To be fair, for a lot of people growing up in the 90s in the UK, it is.
                        Equally, I know that it was the same for non-Liverpool supporters in the 80s though. I guess it's Leicester's turn for domination next.

                        [–]SouthamptonRWinter 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        if you went to school in the UK, you had some kid who has never been to manchester raving about them. it's personal.

                        [–]Sri Lankajusth0nest 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

                        At first, I wanted to stand up and applaud the eloquence. I mean the sheer effort it takes to put into such beautiful words the hatred /u/michaelisnotginger has in his heart for United is unmatched on this thread. I can see its very scathing and sharp but after awhile I just started laughing because this is what I love.

                        This is what I have missed seeing from United. Being hated and frustrating someone so visibly. Ah...I love basking in this.

                        THIS FEELS SO GOOD

                        [–]Aston VillaJay-Em 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        You have succinctly put into words everything I dislike about Man Utd and their fan base. Thank you.

                        [–]Swansea CityJamaicaman90 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        Every kid who grew up in the UK from the early 90s until very recently, no matter their location, had United fans in their class group. Going on about their trophies and their good players. How they were a special, the Trafford 'More than a Club'.

                        In Swansea you can now find a lot of those 90s kids with Swans season tickets, for reference.

                        [–]R961ROP 39ポイント40ポイント  (1子コメント)

                        It's true. All of it. 😢

                        [–]Manchester UnitedSeasickSykes 83ポイント84ポイント  (69子コメント)

                        Bloody ell lad! Grab your notepad, this is a roast not a lecture.

                        [–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 274ポイント275ポイント  (66子コメント)

                        The best roasts have an element of truth. And I hate Manchester United. A deep loathing for how they, more than any other British club, they used their history of success under Busby as a veeneer for corporatising and gentrifying the mechanisms of football to exclude local supporters in preference of foreign ones, to use financial muscle buy teams - the class of 92 was a one off, not a continuation as Tom Cleverly or Federico Macheda will testify - and contribute to a world where West Ham are thinking of having Tesco sponsor their stadium and Troy Deeney is worth more than £25 million

                        [–]Arsenalthebellstollforme 25ポイント26ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        I hate United as much as any other Arsenal fan who grew up in the 90s, but this is a bit of a false flag.

                        People can reach opposite ends of the world within a day now. This sort of mobility was bound to open up global markets and revenue streams. There is a massive boost in revenue when a game goes from being Man Utd vs. Arsenal to 'Man Utd worldwide' vs. 'Arsenal worldwide', and that difference is what makes EPL the richest league. When the game began to attract billions of viewers, it was just a matter of time before FIFA, corporations and advertisers figured out how to make the game a cash cow.

                        The clubs which got in first just had the foresight to do so before everyone else. It was a simple choice: market yourself well and make revenue to stay relevant, or fade away. See Blackburn Rovers.

                        [–]Flick_My_Bean_Geoff 102ポイント103ポイント  (26子コメント)

                        You'll find sponsorship and advertising are all over the world today, it wasn't brought in by Utd.

                        [–]Middlesbroughsecond_prize 2ポイント3ポイント  (9子コメント)

                        It was validated and propagated by United though.

                        [–]Flick_My_Bean_Geoff 1ポイント2ポイント  (8子コメント)

                        Worldwide?

                        [–]Middlesbroughsecond_prize 6ポイント7ポイント  (7子コメント)

                        Obviously worldwide, and this is obviously in regards to football. Nobody is saying sponsorship and advertising was invented by Manchester United. They have club shops and marketing campaigns that stretch the globe. As a club/company they are one of the biggest reasons for such massive TV deals, and the reason why we, as supporters, need to pay so much to go and watch the fucking game, thereby propagating the ideology of being a money grabbing cunt of a company.

                        コメントをもっと表示する (15 返事)

                          [–]Manchester Unitedrdc217 49ポイント50ポイント  (5子コメント)

                          Surely the creation of the Premier League and Sky are far more at fault than United. Hate the game not the player etc.

                          [–]Leeds Unitedslotbadger 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

                          Manchester United were implicit in that too (Although so were a lot of other clubs).

                          [–]Nitrodist 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                          Yeah, I mean, the premier league is owned and was founded by the members of the league.

                          コメントをもっと表示する (3 返事)

                            [–]LiverpoolYungSnuggie 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            tell us how you really feel

                            [–]Manchester CityChrissMari 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            They helped invent football in 1992

                            [–]Francenothu42 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            You can turn around with poor arguments all you want, you said it yourself, you hate the club. Based on that sentence only you annihilate all form of discussion.

                            The only logical explanation for this, based on the first paragraphe of your original rant (not a roast), is one your classmate, a Man United supporter, stole your snack during recess. Since that day you hate him and everything he likes.

                            [–]Preston North Endprestology 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            Absolutely love this. Best thread in any roast so far.

                            [–]Manchester UnitedSeasickSykes 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            Every Little Helps

                            [–]LiverpoolImaStillInsane 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            This is beyond roast, this is murder...

                            [–]Manchester Unitedfrankowen18 10ポイント11ポイント  (4子コメント)

                            Mate that's capitalism and globalisation you've got a problem with, not Man Utd.

                            We were one of the first to do the big commercial thing, doesn't mean that every other cunt also wouldn't have and didn't want to (see: reality in 2016).

                            What you're describing is just hating on success. We didn't create the system that allowed us to flourish, just took advantage of it. You think Man Utd were some sort of initiator and everything that followed wasn't inevitable? That would be delusional. But I kind of understand all the same.

                            [–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 13ポイント14ポイント  (3子コメント)

                            United were one of the 6 big clubs (along with Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool, Everton and another I can't remember) that pushed for the formation of the Premier League, knowing full well what the results would be. Concerns over hooliganism were used as a cover for greed. Were United the only ones? No, but they were the best, or worst rather, and so they get the most opprobrium for spreading their legs wide for Murdoch's load.

                            The roast threads have been far too nice anyway so I thought it'd push it a little.

                            [–]Manchester Unitedblr_cat 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

                            Were United the only ones? No, but they were the best, or worst rather,

                            Which was a reflection of the success on the pitch, so your implication that there was/is something innate about United that resulted in corporate greed overflowing in football falls flat.

                            The poster you responded to is right, you're better off directing your anger towards globalisation. In that period of the Nineties, the most successful English club was uniquely poised to cash-in because of the reach of the English language. That club happened to be United. You hating United for plastic/hypocritical fans is fair, but blaming us for everything that's wrong in football is ridiculous.

                            I'm surprised you didn't stretch the argument and blame United for the dot com bubble or the '08 crash as well.

                            [–]Manchester Unitedfrankowen18 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            Exactly. Roast all you want for the numerous stupid things and fuckups that have happened at the club, but blaming us solely for being this vampire squid of football that ruined it for little davey down the park?

                            Do fuck off with that selective bias mate, it's like believing that taking out Donald Trump would solve all of capitalisms problems. Just a nonsensical fixation on an arbitrary figurehead.

                            コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

                              [–]Manchester Unitedjust_roo_it 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

                              lol. Yes Manchester United commercialized world football. Bravo.

                              [–]Manchester UnitedParkerZA 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

                              This is the dumbest reason I've seen someone hate United for lol.

                              [–]Manchester Unitedjust_roo_it 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              Its such a stupid argument. The most successful clubs at the time were always going to commercialize the game. Real Madrid, Barca, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, and more recently Man City would have been stupid not to take advantage of that.

                              I agree with the general concept of what football has become but that was inevitable. Hate us because we used to be good, hate us because we can spend money without a care, and hate us because we have an unlikable manager but to literally say we ruined football is stupid.

                              [–]HibernianGazza07 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              I'm sure Wycombe would have been challenging for the title by now if it hadn't been for those pesky corporate Man Reds.

                              [–]Accrington StanleyMFDean 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              preach it mate

                              [–]Manchester UnitedThey-Took-Our-Jerbs 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              I love how much you hate the club, means we've done something right...

                              [–]Manchester Cityomiclops 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              I love you

                              [–]Celticazoj 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              Tesco Stadium does have a ring to it to be fair

                              [–]West Ham Unitedmeat_sock 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

                              I'm genuinely embarrassed of what our club is becoming lately. It's only the early stages but we have fucking millionaire youtubers bandwagoning us and getting half price tickets, cancelling ladies charity matches, rebranding of the whole club to West Ham London and the badge change and I'm probably forgetting a load of stuff. It doesn't sit well with me. I know that's the way football is going now but I wish it wasn't. I have a season ticket again this year but I worry I won't be going back to the same club as I watched every week 2 years ago

                              [–]DaLieLama 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              Youre free to hate anyone you want and honestly no should give a fuck. But atleast dont make narratives to suit your hatred. Corporatism isnt something which was developed by Utd, they used it to their advantage to leave others far behind.

                              Everyone, literally everyone, does that. Singling out a successful team to point out something which is universal, shows only bitterness and misguided hatred.

                              [–]unitedno1 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              Hey it's a good rant (even if a little disingenuous and melodramatic with the over-commercialization angle).

                              But let's not get carried away with this "element of truth" bullshit.

                              It's a bitter rant, not a roast. We know it. You know it. Admit it and move on.

                              Don't let the upvotes turn your delusion into reality and fool you that you're convincing anyone otherwise.

                              コメントをもっと表示する (9 返事)

                                [–]Liverpooloscarony 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                Don't be sensitive.

                                コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

                                  [–]wimmywhamwamwozzle 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  This sort of deep seeded hatred can only come from decades upon decades of watching another club dominate everyone around them. It must cut deep

                                  [–]Barcelonasleepsholymountain 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  This is like a comedian showing up to a Comedy Central roast and doing a 10 minute joke-free speech about how he sincerely believes the person getting roasted deserves to die.

                                  [–]Tottenham HotspurAntsonfire 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Man United fans just got ether'd.

                                  [–]BournemouthAVAngels 24ポイント25ポイント  (13子コメント)

                                  Cannot upvote this post enough. Growing up in the early 2000's there were always United fans, even in places as far away as Bournemouth. People who would let their local club die while sitting in front of their TV watching this mob.

                                  They aren't from Manchester. They have nothing to do with Manchester, and they're gloryhunters who'll go to two games in their life, if that. United 'fans' claiming they have it tough watching them finish 6th on television is hilarious, and pathetic.

                                  [–]Bolton Wanderersadhamrlf 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  This is what the roasts should be about.

                                  [–]jackdaw4 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Shit just got real...

                                  [–]Manchester CityBoosterGoldGL 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Are you Phil Bardsley?

                                  [–]Germanyyyzable 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Brutal.

                                  [–]Manchester Unitedbagombos_enough_box 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  props for the Trimalchio reference.

                                  [–]LiverpoolJonax 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Damn dude, that wasn't a roast. It was a melt.

                                  ...Never fuck with Wycombe, I guess.

                                  [–]Manchester CityShozOvr 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Jesus I was waiting for the flame to die down, but nope. This just went from roast to burn

                                  [–]Manchester UnitedMagicDonObi-Jaun 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Sounds like you need to talk to someone mate.

                                  [–]Manchester Citygriffo321 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Outstanding. You've perfectly hit the nail on the head there mate.

                                  [–]Bayern Münchenfat_osvaldo 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Bravo

                                  [–]Manchester Cityomiclops 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  as if their massive transfer fees not fully working give them some sort of sympathy.

                                  hahahahaha incredible

                                  [–]CelticTheKingOfBadgerHill 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                  This is amazing. Well done on the gold too...

                                  Got into an argument with a United fan on Facebook recently who complained about plastic glory hunting Leicester fans crawling out of the woodwork...a United fan from Singapore...

                                  [–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                  Hahaha. Probably put more effort into this than some of the essays we did at uni! The things I do on my dinnerbreak.

                                  [–]Manchester UnitedSodam 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  It's only a game

                                  [–]Manchester UnitedCoolsacs 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  This escalated so quickly.

                                  [–]Manchester UnitedAMBsFather 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Wow. Spoken from the soul. Not bad

                                  [–]Tottenham HotspurBojanglesSweetT 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                  god damn, we're going to need dental records to identify the body after that...

                                  [–]Manchester CityUncleJew 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  http://i.imgur.com/vUyGqN6.gif

                                  [–]LiverpoolLog_In_ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  I have to admire the beauty in your writing. Very descriptive and entirely impressive

                                  [–]AlbaniaTrojan_Man68 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  You just ethered them

                                  [–]Arsenaleros_omorfi 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  OH MY GOD!!!

                                  DAMN!!

                                  [–]Eintracht Frankfurtxepa105 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  BRAVO! MAGNIFICO!

                                  http://i.imgur.com/qtc2XvL.jpg

                                  [–]Liverpoolcasse_toi 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  that was very enjoyable, thanks

                                  [–]Bolton Wandererstonyharrison84 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Yep, this one definitely rings true for me growing up.

                                  [–]Tottenham Hotspurthe_classicist 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  A Trimalchio reference on /r/soccer… never thought I'd see it. Ave, Caesar!

                                  [–]Manchester Unitedkarshokr 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                  Cool post, bro.

                                  However, the simple fact is Manchester United doesn't have a sugar daddy. We can spend all this money because we've earned it, fair and square.

                                  We earned it when we were the best team in the 50s, dominating with youth, we earned it when we rebuilt our team after the tragic Munich attack, and climbed all the way back to the top. We earned it through the sheer dominance of the past 30 years thanks to the big boss, Sir Alex.

                                  So while I appreciate and revel in your hate for Man United, as many of our fans will tell you, we ain't driven by no sugar daddy and we're all very proud of that. Now, yes, the club is changing unfortunately, traditions are being thrown out in favour of a new, more commercial business strategy it seems, but as long as they aren't financed by some uber-wealthy Russia or Arab dude, we good.

                                  [–]BrazilmadridCanBuyAnything 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  I sorted this thred by "best" and this post is so far down even though it has 1700 upvotes, it just shows that this was really downvoted and that it really ruffled some feathers lol

                                  This is by far the best one

                                  [–]Manchester Unitedfifagirlplayer 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Cool story bro

                                  [–]Manchester UnitedGeorge_Beast 7ポイント8ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                  I hope Utd fans take as much pleasure in being hated this much by other football fans as I do. If you didn't want us to fail so bad, we wouldn't have the most watched games on tv, or fill out stadiums across the country because every team wants to beat us, or generate the most clicks in newspapers. So please, keep this up. Your hate generates a good percentage of our income, which allows us to buy world class players like Pogba. <3

                                  [–]Wycombe Wanderersmichaelisnotginger 16ポイント17ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                  see this is the response from United fans I wanted. Not some fucking Freudian analysis. You're hated. Own it.

                                  [–]Manchester Unitedalpaca7 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                  Haha yeah /r/reddevils has more or less dubbed you a psychopath

                                  [–]Manchester Unitedchris2684 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Lol we love it

                                  [–]Manchester UnitedGibber_jab 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  I think the phrase goes, hated adored never ignored

                                  [–]Wycombe Wandererslatenightmonkey 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Proud to be a chair boy today.

                                  [–]Crystal PalaceGroundDweller 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  As someone who hates them more than all our rivals combined this post spoke to me on another level. Fuck the Mancs.

                                  [–]Tottenham Hotspuriuvenilus 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  This is wonderful.

                                  [–]Arsenallukeyf88 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Brilliant!

                                  [–]colucci 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                  Do you know what a roast is? lol

                                  [–]Manchester UnitedShockinglime 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Wow this one actually cut pretty deep as a 90s kid. Just so you know though, we don't all agree with bidding 100m for players such as Pogba... I absolutely think that it sets a ridiculous standard for the value of players and purchases such as this (if it goes through) will have a negative effect on the EPL as a whole.

                                  [–]Englanddoesntquitegeddit 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  ABU!

                                  [–]ArsenalpirateOfTheCaribbean 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  With no regards for humanity. Well said.

                                  [–]LiverpoolTheLastBaron90 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                  That's too serious for the purpose of the roast.

                                  [–]Sheffield UnitedTheresPainOnMyFace 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Fucking nailed it.

                                  [–]Leeds Unitedkizza96 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  this needs to be posted every time someone not from the uk asks "why are man united so hated?"

                                  [–]Manchester Unitedojajaja 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  It's only a game mate

                                  [–]LiverpoolMrSayer 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Devastating Trimalchio bomb.

                                  [–]Manchester Citygmed88 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  That was beautiful

                                  [–]Manchester Unitedtammodi 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Some good points, but to pick a bit.

                                  their fans agonise over noodle deals and boast about their financial wealth through Ed Woodward like Trimalchio at his dinner.

                                  All of the "boasting" for noodle deals in pretty ironic and jokey, none of us (that I've ever seen) have ever boasted about United's tire sponsor.

                                  'prawn sandwich brigade' was coined to sum up their iPad-touting, selfie-stick supporters

                                  The term predates ipads and selfie sticks. It's not so much about young people and social media access like you suggest and more about big wigs in corporate boxes with no interest in the game and just marketing business deals and hospitality etc. Point still stands though.

                                  and a player whose outbursts have made him a meme for pudgy slightly racist 14 year old videogamers show their desperation.

                                  I'm guessing this is Ibra? But why the slightly racist part? I don't understand?

                                  [–]Liverpoolstankhead 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  and from a Wycombe fan too! too much

                                  [–]Born_In_Whiskey 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  I can't wait until the roast of Wycombe so I can retaliate...oh, wait...

                                  [–]cornrowkenny19 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Was this supposed to be funny?

                                  [–]Manchester UnitedEindacor_DS 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  This comment is so dark it's banned from John Terry's house

                                  [–]LiverpoolYix4 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Outstanding stuff. Best comment in /r/soccer history?

                                  They can thank Rupert Murdoch for their status, his outlets love to push Manchester United.

                                  [–]Englandmbrw12 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Wrecked, utterly fucking wrecked

                                  Well played

                                  [–]Dinamo BucureştiAururian 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  What's your problem with Arsenal fans? Despite the rather obnoxious sample of Arsenal fans on Reddit, most I've met are loyal and great supporters.

                                  [–]Manchester UnitedGhost51 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Tbf securing 50 noodle sponsorships is slightly better than having money poured into you by one guy. Atleast you're putting some effort in.

                                  [–]Manchester Unitedcapri_stylee 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Wow. You should find a hate figure that's worth actually hating.

                                  At the end of the day MUFC are a club like any other, with a wide range of supporters just like any other successful club. Woodward may be pimping our name out to increasingly ridiculous companies, but we don't like it, we just accept that it allows us to compete with Europe's other top clubs for the best players.

                                  We never had a master plan to drown the football world with cash, we were lucky enough to be successful at the same time sky started pumping millions into the sport, as the FA were simultaneously trying to change the image of English football from the hooliganism of the 80s.

                                  We have undoubtedly spend large sums over the last 25 years, and I can see why that annoys you, but I find it strange that you have more of a problem with us taking money from Vietnamese noodle companies than you do with Chelsea taking money from gangsters, or city being used as the propaganda wing of despotic monarchs.

                                  I get it, this is a roast thread, I should just take it on the chin, but your post was 100% vitrol with zero humour. Seriously, feel free to dislike us, but your way off the mark if you that we are solely, or primarily, responsible for transfer market inflation, poor atmosphere at games, that wwfc are in div 2, or that it rained yesterday.

                                  [–]Godspeed12 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  I can't agree more with you, I tell this to people(Man U fans) and they just look at me like I'm crazy. They call themselves United fans but don't even know their own club's history. They used a corporation to get money to buy players before anyone else even thought of doing that.

                                  コメントをもっと表示する (22 返事)