Here is the Leap Manifesto, in all its champagne socialist glory

The Leap Manifesto is a, you guessed it, radical socialist manifesto penned by Canadian environmental-socialist Naomi Klein and her husband, Avi Lewis. The Manifesto came to prominence in Canadian politics after being openly discussed by the left-wing, typically union-oriented New Democratic Party at their recent convention. It essentially cleaved the party in half and when the discussion resume, there will be a shitstorm.

So let's R1 it, because bashing socialists seems to be something y'all enjoy.

We could live in a country powered entirely by renewable energy, woven together by accessible public transit, in which the jobs and opportunities of this transition are designed to systematically eliminate racial and gender inequality. Caring for one another and caring for the planet could be the economy’s fastest growing sectors. Many more people could have higher wage jobs with fewer work hours, leaving us ample time to enjoy our loved ones and flourish in our communities.

Jesus. This is even more hilarious than I thought. This was the opener. The first sentence isn't too bad, self-sustaining green energy, efficient public transport and fair employment opportunities for women and minorities are good and feasible. However, any semblance of reason dies at the second sentence. If anyone would do a shitty MS paint graph detailing the growth of caring for one another that'd be great. While were at it, I'd like a raise, but also to work less. Thanks.

The latest research shows it is feasible for Canada to get 100% of its electricity from renewable resources within two decades[1]; by 2050 we could have a 100% clean economy[2]

Ok, yeah, probably not out of the question. But...

There is no longer an excuse for building new infrastructure projects that lock us into increased extraction decades into the future. The new iron law of energy development must be: if you wouldn’t want it in your backyard, then it doesn’t belong in anyone’s backyard. That applies equally to oil and gas pipelines; fracking in New Brunswick, Quebec and British Columbia; increased tanker traffic off our coasts; and to Canadian-owned mining projects the world over.

What?! I don't want a local farmers market in my backyard either, what does that have to do with anything?

As an alternative to the profit-gouging of private companies and the remote bureaucracy of some centralized state ones, we can create innovative ownership structures: democratically run, paying living wages and keeping much-needed revenue in communities. And Indigenous Peoples should be first to receive public support for their own clean energy projects. So should communities currently dealing with heavy health impacts of polluting industrial activity.

This isn't an innovative ownership structure. Co-ops exist in all sorts of sectors.

A leap to a non-polluting economy creates countless openings for similar multiple “wins.” We want a universal program to build energy efficient homes, and retrofit existing housing, ensuring that the lowest income communities and neighbourhoods will benefit first and receive job training and opportunities that reduce poverty over the long term. We want training and other resources for workers in carbon-intensive jobs, ensuring they are fully able to take part in the clean energy economy.

Wait, I thought centralized bureaucracy was part of the problem? Wouldn't universal government projects necessarily come from the central bureaucracy?

High-speed rail powered by renewables and affordable public transit can unite every community in this country – in place of more cars, pipelines and exploding trains that endanger and divide us.

Canada isn't Europe, Ms. Klein. It's fucking huge and our cities are extremely far away. The first time we built a national railroad it literally bankrupted our government, I don't see how this would be different. And the exploding trains bit is a direct reference to the Lac-Megantic Rail Disaster which was caused by engineering negligence.

Moving to a far more localized and ecologically-based agricultural system would reduce reliance on fossil fuels, capture carbon in the soil, and absorb sudden shocks in the global supply – as well as produce healthier and more affordable food for everyone.

Sound like a similar socialist undertaking with the word "Leap" in it. Perhaps this one is expected to go better.

We call for an end to all trade deals that interfere with our attempts to rebuild local economies, regulate corporations and stop damaging extractive projects.

This claim is made, much like every other suggestion, without provided any empirical evidence as to why it would benefit anyone.

Shifting to an economy in balance with the earth’s limits also means expanding the sectors of our economy that are already low carbon: caregiving, teaching, social work, the arts and public-interest media. Following on Quebec’s lead, a national childcare program is long past due. All this work, much of it performed by women, is the glue that builds humane, resilient communities

Wait, you mean we should shift away from hard manufacturing and natural resource extraction in favor of higher paying service sector jobs? Not sure what rock Ms. Klein has been living under, but that is exactly what has been happening in Canada and the rest of the world.

Not sure why she specifies the gender thing here. Seems like a useless side note. Lawyers, economists and investment bankers also do low-carbon work. But clearly they are evil, and largely male-dominated, so they probably have less appeal.

Since so much of the labour of caretaking – whether of people or the planet – is currently unpaid, we call for a vigorous debate about the introduction of a universal basic annual income. Pioneered in Manitoba in the 1970’s, this sturdy safety net could help ensure that no one is forced to take work that threatens their children’s tomorrow, just to feed those children today.

I'm sure we can circlejerk over the merits of UBI all damn day, so I won't get into it. But this is a bizarre justification. The manifesto aggressively promotes gender equality, but this has a slight women-should-stay-home-and-raise-children vibe to it. I could be wrong, but either way I digress from the badecon.

The money we need to pay for this great transformation is available — we just need the right policies to release it. Like an end to fossil fuel subsidies. Financial transaction taxes. Increased resource royalties. Higher income taxes on corporations and wealthy people. A progressive carbon tax. Cuts to military spending. All of these are based on a simple “polluter pays” principle and hold enormous promise.

Ok, so no actual numbers here. Just a radical overhaul of our entire tax system without any specifics. Also this is assuming that these taxes will not negatively affect growth or employment, which is lunacy. But I think it's clear this manifesto is beyond stating the fallibility of its assumptions.

The drop in oil prices has temporarily relieved the pressure to dig up fossil fuels as rapidly as high-risk technologies will allow. This pause in frenetic expansion should not be viewed as a crisis, but as a gift.

Right, I bet the tens of thousands of Alberta residents who've lost their jobs feel elated at receiving the gift of EI benefits. Alberta residents who voted in an NDP government, mind you, that has emphatically rejected this manifesto, calling its adopters children.

So that is an R1 of the Leap Manifesto. If there is one thing Smith and Marx could have agreed upon, it's that this is a steaming pile.