So I was in the car with this girl, she's a 6 tops, and my feeling was she's kinda in to me, but for the life of me I couldn't find anything to talk about. I mean we spoke, but it was me directing it and the conversation just came around to how I can improve my life, find a real career, etc. All this was prompted by me, but... it was just awkward. I thought we would have fun, just enjoy eachothers company but the interest was just not there.

Honestly I just don't know what to do with women. I feel like I'm taking things too seriously, but I don't know what to do so that I can get to a place where I can just relax and still attract them. It just seems like it takes way too much and it feels to me unnatural. This girl was not that hot, and I really felt before this she was interested... but it was basically just on me to initiate and lead all of the conversation.

Seriously my game is not great, but nights like tonight just feel unnatural. It just doesn't feel right and it turns me off. I'm open to any kind of criticism, but truthfully I just fully disconnected from the female sex.

I mean it came up that she studied writing in university, and she's interested in being an editor. I was excited because I've always had a big interest in writing, but did she ask me what I like writing about? Fuck no. I had to ask her, and then when there was an awkward silence I started talking about my own interests.

I must be looking for the wrong things out of women, because this is just horse shit. My feeling on this is that I haven't truly swallowed the red pill, and I just need to fucking accept that women are for sex. That's it man.