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Still in the abyss (self.MGTOW)

awesomelittlebuddy が 投稿

This post might not be so MGTOW, but I just don't know who to talk to. TRP will just say lift and keep self improving, the blue pill world will just tell me what I want to hear. I tried talking to a couple therapists but it seems like they just use pre meditated responses plagiarized from college psychology textbooks.

Basically i'm dealing with lots of self loathing. Raised to believe i'll never be good enough, and that I need to keep doing better in school to go to a good college to get a good job and be a 27 year old virgin to get an arranged marriage and pop out two kids and be a servant my whole life for their well being (i'm sure some of you can relate to this in some way). However, I broke out of that mold but am still angry and sad more than i'm happy. I think this is because there are so many things about myself i'm not happy with that are impossible to change eg; skin color, height, dick size. Since i was taught I must always be better, but can't change these things, I feel basically fucked.

For 14 (half my life) years i've been dealing with this deprecating self loathing and now its really taking a toll, and i think life is not really worth living. I have some savings saved up, and want to enjoy the next few years and then leave this world on my own.

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[–]Iappreci8thegr8r8m8 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think it's difficult to not feel empty.

The weight of expectation from family, friends, and ultimately society to fit that mold of the nuclear family--"the perfect life". How can one not feel like a failure for failing to fit that mold?

The thing about going your own way is in large part, forgiving yourself. You have to stop imagining yourself as a person missing one of the cornerstones of a typical life and re-imagine a you that is complete WITHOUT it. You need to accept that the life you are living is simply DIFFERENT not LESS.

FORGIVE yourself for not fitting the obscene mold of expectations women have for you to be good enough. Forgive yourself for not being the "family man" your parents wanted, you are still a blessing to them and you can do so much more to exceed their hopes for you than just marry and squirt out a couple kids. Forgive yourself for not experiencing something that others have. Focus on creating experiences for yourself that THEY will never experience. Craft an enviable life with yourself at the center and love yourself for what you have rather than what you lack.

I haven't yet either.

[–]awesomelittlebuddy[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'll try to forgive myself and think about what i am grateful for. Thanks

[–]realpra 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

...want to enjoy the next few years and then leave this world on my own Ok, don't kill yourself. Why? Because death is eternal and compared to that trying some few more years to find any kind of meaning or happiness is not so bad. No need to rush death.

Everyone believes they are not good enough - and hey probably no one is!

You need to find out what YOU care about and what YOU want to be good at and then do it for YOU.

I may have lost hope in finding love, but there are still many things I believe in and care about so I will just try to do more of that and just use women for sex - without too much effort put into it.

Are you on any psych. medication? A lot of that stuff not only doesn't help and isn't proven, but will also give you severe side effects and suicidal thoughts.