•
•

Ex redpiller seeking advice on something (self.TheBluePill)

BPadvicethrowaway が 投稿

Context I am an ex-redpiller, 17

After some time I began to realise that the red pill has some good advice (work out, meditate, be confident and assertive) but also has a lot of unfound misogyny and general bitterness and negativity. I recently entered a relationship in which i am very happy, I don't apply redpill theory to my relationship as have begun to realise the flaws in redpill thinking. However in TRP one piece of advice is "don't get married". I have not been able to let go of this concept, as my parents had a rough marriage which ended in divorce and I agree that divorce courts seem to favour women, along with alimony, 50% resource splits etc. It seems like good advice. But as I am trying to avoid a redpill mebtality I wanted to ask some advice from this sub (I know it's not an advice sub, sorry). So, is the "don't get married" thing a myth? Is there some truth in it? Thank you guys and gals for any advice.

全 8 件のコメント
並べ替え:
ベスト
トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]en_travesti 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm assuming that 17 there means you're 17? Dude. You're 17 dot get married because you are 17. And no one that age should get married. Seriously, wait about a decade and then start thinking about it.

Also if you get married when you're older divorce rates go down.

[–]BPadvicethrowaway[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks man, appreciate the help

[–]girlCtrl-Cgirl interrupt 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

To expand on this: A lot of things sound terrible when you're not at the right point in your life to do them. When you hit the point in your life where you should be considering it, you'll know. You might never hit the point where marriage is right for you. Or you might. Having kids is much the same. Some people will start fantasizing about it well in advance, but a lot of people are like, "ugh, that sounds terrible" until they're at a different point in their lives where, like, they aren't just trying to imagine min-maxing their future finances against all possible risks and actually have a concrete person in mind as their future spouse or co-parent.

I say this as someone in my 30s who still is neither married nor a parent, so it's not like it's inevitable that it'll change, but it often will.

[–]luridlurkerObserving the Dick Derby 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's also /r/exredpill.

So, is the "don't get married" thing a myth? Is there some truth in it?

How would it be a myth? It's an option that you may want to take or may never want to take. It's a personal decision that only you can decide if you want to do... The important part (if you don't want to be an asshole about it) is to be up front and communicative about how you feel and what you want with your romantic partners.

Marriage is like any business partnership. It's a short cut to a bunch of legal benefits and trade-offs and essentially gives you an LLC with your spouse. It makes a lot of legal sense if you plan on having children (there's benefits for giving your children money tax free, establishing custody of children without probation after a spouse dies, etc.) or if one of you wants to stay home from work for a while. I married my husband because he wanted to take a break from his career and I wanted him to be covered by my health insurance and have ownership of my house and bank accounts (especially important if I died, since I don't want him dealing with probation to stay in his home).

Just like any business venture, if you pick your partner poorly it's going to end poorly. If you're risk adverse, don't get married (but I'd suggest also not having kids as well, as offspring also come with a bunch of risks).

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

My parents have been married for 27 years. My grandparents were married for 67 until my grandfather passed away. You shouldn't get married to someone you don't see a future with, or with whom you aren't compatible, but if you have a relationship that is built on values of love and trust, it is much more likely to work out. Other tidbits to know are that a lot of divorces are initiated by people who have already been divorced in the past. About 30% of first marriages end in divorce if I remember right. The higher one's level of education, the less likely they will divorce as well, same with older age of marriage. Marriage also has some tax code benefits as well. There is also the whole children thing, and if you want a family, you most likely would want to get married.

However, you should not get married if that is not what you want, and you shouldn't feel pressure to get married. It should be a mutual decision with your partner and should be something that you think a long time about just in case you are unsure.

Anyway, dude, you are 17, you really don't need to be thinking about this stuff for a while unless you meet someone whom you can see a future with. Hell, I've been with my girlfriend (we are 20/21 for reference) for two years and things have literally been perfect. The topic of marriage has come up before, and we both agreed to give it at least five years even now. Marriage certainly is something we have thought about, and every couple will think of that once they have been together for long enough, but at the same time, marriage isn't something to rush into, and it should be something that happens when you are at a stable point in your life and your relationship.

[–]Manfrieda 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

I would ask this on askmenover30 or legaladvice or something. Why ask here?

[–]BPadvicethrowaway[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm not over 30. But I might check out legaladvice, thanks for the tip.

I posted this here because this sub is aware of redpill theory and the problems with it, I was actually hoping there would be some ex-redpillers among you guys.

If the mods want to delete my post, they can.

[–]Manfrieda 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Men over 30 are likely to have firsthand experience with marriage and its legal surroundings, that's why I suggested it. Unlike trp or marriedtrp, their sub doesn't have an ideological slant.