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Red Pill TheoryKind reminder: don't friendzone yourself (self.TheRedPill)

tddaygame が 投稿

Summary: There are worse things than friendzoning yourself in order to get access to hot girls. One of the worst is trying to get into pants of a hot chick by becoming her close friend first.

 

A guy that I've recently been talking to admitted to me (and for the first time ever to himself) that he befriends girls all the time looking for a way to "become their boyfriend". There's so much wrong with that mindset: from thinking about relationship before even having sex to being a sneaky lying bastard.

Sex first and then (maybe) a relationship. That's the rule and that's how you keep the upper hand in a male-female situation. Man pursue sex, women - relationships. By giving the girl a relationship without sex she has everything she needs (attention, validation, feelings, dates, etc.) and she doesn't even have to sleep with you! If she'd considered you hot then you'd already be banging each other brains out. If that's not happening in a "relationship" she's just using you.

"Being her friend" also means hiding your dick. If you want a girl - you have to be ready for a rejection. You cannot pretend to be her friend in order to never feel that cold sting. It's better to be honest from the very beginning. Either you'll get rejected and you won't waste your time on her or you'll succeed and you'll get what you want. Win-win.

 

When a guy that is "just a friend" admits his feeling towards a girl she'll either feel disgusted or outraged. There will be no romantic moment like in some stupid movie. She'll think "what a loser who didn't even had balls to admit that he had liked me!" or "that lying shithead pretended to be my friend just to sleep with me; and I thought he was different!".

If one of your friends ever mention that he has intention of befriending a chick ask him two questions: "would you rather spend an evening with girl who is your friend or girl who is your lover?" (we all know the answer), "is the girl you're trying to befriend a hot one?" (if no - then why the hell is he bothered with her? if yes - he's a liar and he's looking for a way to get into her pants).

 

And last but not least - there's no way you can transition from "friend" to "lover". If you ever find yourself in that damned friendzone - stop seeing the girl, cut her off. If she asks what's happened just openly admit that "you stopped seeing her as just a friend and you shouldn't be near each other anymore, it doesn't work". Don't explain any further. Only by removing yourself from the picture you can give her time to develop her own feelings towards you and then maybe, just maybe she'll reach out to you.

But that probably won't ever happen. So keep on approaching new girls and avoid that damned friendzone by being clear as to your intentions in a subtle yet explicit way.

 

Lessons learned:

  • Nothing new, really: don't hide your dick. Don't try to become her friend.
  • Sex first and then (maybe) a relationship.
  • Don't friendzone yourself on purpose.

 

I cut, edit, redact and a lot of other nasty things to my posts to make them more general because my blog is all about daygame (if you're into that stuff).

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[–]Your_Coke_Dealer 7ポイント8ポイント  (7子コメント)

The only time to befriend a girl you'd be more interested in banging is if her friends are even hotter and you want easy social proof. But this is a sacrificial strategy; you won't bang the friend

[–]5JS1XBG64A 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

There any good posts on this? I'm starting college soon, and I'm already friends with one of the girls on my dorm floor. She's already offering to get booze, asking to hangout, blah blah, she's showed cleared IOI's. Not as interested in her as much as in her three hot roommates. Trying to figure out how to play this.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

Escalate as soon as possible. Don't beat around the bush

[–]5JS1XBG64A 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Unfortunately I don't meet them for another month or so, but I definitely will be doing that.

[–]Thinkpadoutlaw -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Get use to asking,"Are we fucking or not?"(or a less vulgar derivative). Clear the air early and often. Saves time and effort.

[–]persistentlyimmature 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

One in hand is worth two in the bush. If girl #1 is hot, and you think you can fuck her, just fuck girl #1 instead of trying to set up a shot at girls 2 & 3. Trading up like that is a challenging proposition even for a guy with respectable game.

[–]Your_Coke_Dealer 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you've got another few plates spinning elsewhere, why not make a project? Sure, low effort is advantageous, but in getting laid, the chase is fun. If you want maximum value, and time is money, the most resource-efficient way to have sex is pay a hooker. But that's missing half the fun, and blowing your chances on a 7 for access to a few 9s is worth it because you can always find another 7 anyway.

[–]Endorsed Contributorstonepimpletilists 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Intentions up front, unapolategic too.

It's ok to want to fuck a girl. It's OK to not care about her feelings and interests too. It's not OK to deny her an emotional roller coaster.

If I was a chick with beta orbiters, they'd piss me off too. I mean, all I wanted was some dick on a solid bod, feel special, and not a slut. Is it so hard?

[–]NeverDieAlone 3ポイント4ポイント  (7子コメント)

Good advice. Women know you want to fuck them, so there's no point lying about it.

The minute you become her friend you will NEVER be her sex partner...ever.

[–]eloquent__ 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

That depends.

In Robert Greene's Art of Seduction he states that by masking your courtship by friendship will reveal all the intimate details about her. You then drop a subtle hint that there may be something more between you, that enters her subconscious and she'll wonder why you haven't made the move and she'll do it herself.

I've executed this move probably half a dozen times, it always works if you're making them fall in love with you. But you still have to be a fucking man, still exude masculinity.

Right now I'm seducing this one chick, I've orchestrated the entire thing where she's convinced she's the one seducing me. She handed me her phone, I texted her name to it, responded four days later to make plans.

We then meetup another four days past the initial text. Made the whole date seem dreamlike, went to nine different spots through the city, offered an unforgettable experienced and vanished. She texted me at 4:30am that night, we talked and she concluded the convo by saying "I'll text you soon:)"

By doing this, she thinks she's making all the moves on you. There's no resistance from the seduction. It all comes down to strategy and not being a beta bitch.

[–]FrameWalker 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sounds fun. Im more of the 30 min coffee ,1 hr drinks bring em back to my place kinda guy

[–]rporion 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Plus, as someone who used to do this, women make shitty friends.

[–]globst -2ポイント-1ポイント  (2子コメント)

This is not true and people need to stop saying it. I have seen plenty of situations where two people were friends and they are now dating.

Perfect example being two of my close friends. They lived together for a year - she even thought he might be gay, was not attracted to him. Then one night they got drunk and hooked up and now they're dating. He is pretty Alpha and shes still incredibly attracted to him 8 months into dating.

Basically if you are just friends the chances of you getting with the girl are much slimmer than if you had made your intentions clearer in the first place - but there are plenty of ways to get out such as improving SMV, pre-selection (with girls of equivalent or higher SMV) or even just drunken hookups that can be a catalyst for hamster rationalisation of attraction.

I think the most important attribute that should carry through is that you are friends and you don't orbit her. This means coming from a place of non neediness. Women are emotional creatures and their memories of you are malleable based on their present emotional state. If you up your SMV above hers and display confident and sexual traits, her present state emotions can override all the negativity that has built up. The light switch effect can work both ways in the right circumstances.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

OK, so your friend lucked out. That's the exception, not the rule.

If you go into it trying to be friends first so you can "try out" to be her boyfriend, you will fail 99.99% of the time and get put in the friend zone.

I can go to the Roulette Table and put my life savings on the Number 3, there is a chance I win big, but there is a 37/38 chance I will lose it all.

[–]globst 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Agreed - it is the exception and a terrible strategy as well.

However, it is not impossible and happens reasonably often enough on the AF side of AF/BB that it isn't something extremely rare.

I see it happen with BB and post wall women a lot more but that is a blue pilled strategy that isn't relevant here anyway.

[–]2ndAmericanCivilWar 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The friend zone is nothing more than a mental construct. You can bang whoever you want and drop them as easily.

[–]mexaboy 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is not entirely right. It is a good rule of thumb, especially for redpill newcomers who have a history of serial friendzoning. However, a savvy Lothario can use the friendzone to his benefit in some situations.

This has implications mainly in Social Circle game and serial monogamy.

Basically, there might be a number of reasons you don't want to close the deal.

  • Maybe you have a good social circle that has a lot of prospects, and you don't want to plate them all, risking becoming known as the group's "male slut"
  • You're a serial monogamist and don't like to cheat, but like to keep your options open
  • The target is in a relationship and you don't want that kind of drama

Whatever the reason, if you don't want to fuck the girl right now but want to keep her in the backburner, the friendzone is your friend. The key is, you don't want to be the herb friend she would never fuck. You want to be the exciting friend that she would love to fuck, but is always sending mixed signals and she's not really sure what you're up to.

You achieve this state by gaming all the girls you know, physically and verbally escalating with them as if you were seducing them, but never going much further than what would be socially acceptable for friends, keeping plausible deniability. And that way, when you wish to take things a step further, the option is there.

[–]persistentlyimmature 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm noticing a trend in the comments section here:

"You're totally right! Except in my case, the reason I'm not fucking the hot girl I'm friends with is because I'm using her for social proof. You know, demonstrating preselection. I totally COULD be banging her if I wanted though."

BULLSHIT. You're either Chad Thundercock, or you're deluded and that's the friendzone.

[–]AmericanHistoryAFBB 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I mostly agree but there are exceptions. For instance, I'm friends with a stripper. Sure if sleep with her and that's totally possible in the future, but one benefit of having attractive female friends is the automatic preselection they give you.

If you do decide to befriend a gal, preselection is something you should take advantage of.

[–]persistentlyimmature 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

You have not described an exception. You'd rather be fucking that stripper and you know it. Here's this perfectly hot stripper, who you're NOT fucking, and you're telling yourself that:

A) she's worth more as a demonstrator of preselection, even though that preselection is meant to impress who...? Hot chicks. Like the stripper you've got right in front of you. Who you're not fucking because she represents preselection. Which you want to impress chicks. Like the hot one right in front of you. But no, not her, because she's preselction. Bullshit.

B) that it's a "possibility in the future." If there's a possibility why haven't you hit that already? And don't tell me it's because she's more useful as social proof.

Sounds like a classic case of the friend zone.