I came upon this subreddit accidentally via a google search. I don't consider myself the average woman. I can't say I have given up on men entirely but I have come to question their role in my life. Here is my perspective:

I am 31 yrs old and for the longest time I had a deep love and regard for my future husband. It is strange to say you can love a stranger you have never met but that is how I feel. I structured my life along these lines too. I got a degree in Electrical engineering and now work as a senior software engineer (making 6 figures) while pursing my passion to be a day trader. The goal for all this is so that I can financially carry my weight and can relieve him from some of the pressure of providing for a family. This is career wise.

In my personal life, I did date and was in long term relationships but I refrained from having sex because I wanted to keep my body in pristine condition for my future husband. After all he will be the one there for me when I am sick, in the hospital or maybe even on my deathbed. However, I am finding out that men do not value this quality these days. Some guys outright told me being a virgin is a deal breaker. Other times I have been ridiculed. Nobody seems to understand the strength of character and self restraint it takes to refrain yourself for more than 10 yrs when your friends are going at it left and right.

Next is aesthetics/beauty/health. I am 31 but most people think I am 24 or 25. That is because I stay away from alcohol, caffeine, sugar etc. I don't party or go to clubs/bars. Instead I get my beauty sleep so I can be efficient the next day. I eat healthy and exercise. Aesthetically guys tell me I am an 8 or a 9. I get hit on my guys out and about so I it would be safe to say I am decently attractive.

Finally coming to the challenge of finding a quality gentleman. I have been looking for a male counterpart of myself. Someone who has a good career, decently attractive and upholds old fashioned values. But it has been difficult to find. I stay away from social media but I have tried online dating as I have a busy life as described above. Not only that, I have found men who would be considered the cream of the crop (career wise) to be seriously lacking in ethics/morals/character. It is easy to blame the opposite sex but I feel that this is due to the moral decay of society. When standing up for your ideals, treating people with respect and courtesy, living your life as a shining pillar of principles and values, when all these things are going out of style it is no surprise that we have trouble finding quality partners. And this can become a viscous cycle. If you have been treated poorly multiple times it is easy to let go of your ideals and treat the next person you meet in a similar fashion.

Have I had my share of bad experiences with men? I sure have. In 3 of my past relationships I have been a victim of domestic violence and in the 1st 2 of which I didn't call the cops because I didn't want them to get into legal trouble. I have also been a victim of sexual molestation as a child. However, I refuse to let my adversity prevent me from becoming the person I was designed to be.

By design the relationship between a man and a woman in a committed relationship is like no other and I don't think any other relationship like parent-child or between friends can compare. To me sex is not just sex but a worship of the divinity that lies in each of us. It is physically manifesting when words cannot describe the level of trust, loyalty and care two people feel for each other. However, the prerequisite for this is that both partners should not only be fiercely loyal to each other but also constantly strive to become the best person they can be. It either party drops the ball then this sacred relationship can easily turn into a living nightmare. The closest analogy I can find is fire. Fire has some powerful uses but if not contained it can easily become one of the biggest destructive forces and that is what we are seeing with couples today.