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Everyone in office is Muslim (i.redd.it)

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トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]WhirlwindMonk 1702ポイント1703ポイント  (270子コメント)

If someone is willing to steal sandwiches out of the office fridge and eat them without checking what is in them, somehow I don't think they actually care that much about following their religion's dietary requirements. So this $100% true story is likely a story of accomplishing nothing.

[–]Kunstfr 520ポイント521ポイント  (84子コメント)

Also, a muslim won't get any religious trouble if he eats pork while not knowing it's pork.

[–]TheHotshot1 293ポイント294ポイント  (34子コメント)

This is true. But stealing is wrong in the first place.

[–]panamaspace 349ポイント350ポイント  (18子コメント)

Not during the Sandwich Jihad.

[–]osama_bin_lederhosen 391ポイント392ポイント  (13子コメント)

Allahu snackbar

[–]Nobody_is_on_reddit 137ポイント138ポイント  (3子コメント)

Shawarma law

[–]30plus1 20ポイント21ポイント  (0子コメント)

The most delicious of the laws.

[–]robaroo 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shawarma law today, but tomato is a different day.

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    [–]jaxonya 40ポイント41ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Lettuce pray.

    [–]GalacticPirate 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Aloha snack bar

    [–]PleaseGetInTheVan 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    ☝🏿🔥🔥🔥

    [–]grnrrtrr4444 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    r/retiredmeme

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      [–]hoediddley 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

      I'm on a low fatwa diet.

      [–]stalat92 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

      The struggle for the right condiments is real.

      [–]blomhonung 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

      I read this comment just as I left this thread but had to come back to upvote.

      コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

        [–]runfayfun 8ポイント9ポイント  (5子コメント)

        And he should have his hand cut off, as per the Quran.

        [–]Arayybian 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

        That's reserved for stealing big things like cars (or camels back then) or expensive things. Your hand won't be cut off for stealing a sandwich.

        The reason these laws are cruel is because they work. Countries like Saudi Arabia that implement these laws have relatively low crime rates because of it.

        [–]heronumberwon 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Then shall we cut of small things like the penis?

        Also if people know the punishment is maiming why does it still happen?

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          [–]psiquiatrist 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

          Eh

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            [–]Stalking_your_pylons 32ポイント33ポイント  (14子コメント)

            Also, FBI won't indict charges if you didn't intend to break the law.

            [–]superdago 10ポイント11ポイント  (5子コメント)

            I know what you're jokingly referring to, but intent is actually an element of plenty of laws.

            [–]Guygan 5ポイント6ポイント  (4子コメント)

            intent is actually an element of plenty of laws

            Yes, the intent to do the act that breaks the law. The intent to break the law is irrelevant.

            [–]runfayfun 1ポイント2ポイント  (5子コメント)

            Watching Comey respond to the Congressional inquiry provided me with the best news I heard all year. I will now fight all public urination citations all the way to the Supreme Court now that there's a precedent.

            I didn't INTEND to urinate in those backyards. My intent was to hide my urination from the street where the children were playing.

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              [–]theycallmeponcho 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

              What about desiring to eat that delicious pork meat after you find you ate it~~ it was pork?

              Edited because I be not good at English.

              [–]lanternsinthesky 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

              And some muslims do eat pork and drink too, it is not like you're automatically disqualified from a religion because you don't follow it strictly. I think this is especially the case for muslim people living in secular western countries, even for well integrated first generation immigrants.

              [–]Gundersonia 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

              Not all Muslims really care about following that arbitrary rule anyway though.

              [–]mr3316 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

              They burn to death immediately.

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                [–]Imtheone457 137ポイント138ポイント  (141子コメント)

                yeah the Koran forbids stealing

                [–]omer925 115ポイント116ポイント  (50子コメント)

                I'm pretty sure every holy book says stealing is not ok.

                [–]Miguelinileugim 37ポイント38ポイント  (49子コメント)

                But they don't cut your hand off in all of them.

                [–]sebinthebrowndude 19ポイント20ポイント  (7子コメント)

                if they cut your hand off, then who write book?

                [–]WhyLisaWhy 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

                Baby Jesus.

                [–]RayanStorm 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                I like to imagine Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt.

                [–]Ricknell1 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                The guy with his hands still on

                [–]SupportstheOP 8ポイント9ポイント  (3子コメント)

                Then who was the phone?

                [–]pjor1 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

                The phone? Albert Einstein.

                [–]uniqueguy263 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                Let's just say it's no longer a vigin ;)

                [–]FrostByte122 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                Big ol doggo

                [–]omer925 15ポイント16ポイント  (39子コメント)

                Bible has some pretty bad things in it too. People just don't follow it as seriously fortunately.

                [–]psiquiatrist 6ポイント7ポイント  (36子コメント)

                To be honest, I don't recall Jesus ever saying anything outstandingly bad. He did flip a table once.
                (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

                Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, I've only read the new half of the thing once.

                [–]nikolai2960 15ポイント16ポイント  (3子コメント)

                It's not the jesus part that's bad, it's the old testament part, from which every text that people use to be assholes come from.

                [–]misanmeme 25ポイント26ポイント  (9子コメント)

                The bible is more than just Jesus though

                [–]PM-Sexy-Things 1ポイント2ポイント  (8子コメント)

                True, but from my understanding most Christians tend to recognise Jesus as the highest authority within the text and overrules a lot of things

                [–]omer925 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

                He didn't say anything bad, but the bible dint go with exactly with what he said.

                Hosea 13:16

                Samaria shall bear her guilt, because she has rebelled against her God; they shall fall by the sword, their little ones shall be dashed in pieces, and their pregnant women ripped open.

                I hope I don't come off as someone promoting extremism or anything. The Koran has the same or maybe even more violent excerpts than the bible.

                [–]psiquiatrist 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                Ok, so let's say I'm not a Muslim, I'm a Muhammadian; Assuming Muhammad also didn't say anything exceptionally bad, but the rest of the Koran did and I ignored the Koran, but was still a Muhammadian and only cared about what specifically he said.

                Besides, Hosea isn't even part of the official new Christian law, as it was made obsolete by jesus being born. And all those books are just collections of other books over the course of centuries.

                I mean people don't call themselves Biblians, so why is the bible at the forefront of the discussion, and not what "god" himself actually said.

                [–]omer925 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                The thing is that the Koran is based off the teachings of Muhammad. He is the reason Muslims can't drink alcohol and other various things.

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                  [–]Photog77 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

                  And don't forget whipping people during all the table flipping.

                  ETA: My priest took away my WWJD bracelet.

                  [–]psiquiatrist 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  It really did seem that comical when I read it.

                  [–]JettaGLi16v 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

                  Google 'why can't I own a canadian'.

                  Lots of super messed up stuff in Lev.

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                      [–]NachoLawbre 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                      Fortunately, Muslims don't follow that teaching (with the exception of Saudi Arabia).

                      [–]KMKtwo-four 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

                      It isn't stealing if Allah made you put that sandwich in the fridge for a Muslim coworker to find.

                      [–]jaxonya 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

                      That sandwich shouldnt have been wrapped in see through wrapping. Its not a Muslims fault that the sandwich was flaunting its tastyness for everyone to see. It deserved to be eaten at that point. It should he wrapped in a brown paper bag so nobody is tempted to eat it

                      [–]RecallRethuglicans 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                      It'a not stealing

                      [–]K4SHM0R3 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                      It's Quran for future reference

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                        [–]altiuscitiusfortius 38ポイント39ポイント  (5子コメント)

                        Ive got muslims at my office who don't drink and who leave for prayer a couple times a day. Ive got muslims at my office who love bacon.

                        Not all muslims practice the same islam, just like how my family who is mostly Christian, and like how my dad lies, cheats and steals and committed adultery, which Im pretty sure covers like half the ten commandments he supposedly lives by.

                        [–]jwota 14ポイント15ポイント  (3子コメント)

                        You can say not all Muslims adhere to Islam as strictly, but when it comes to pork there is no version of Islam out there that is cool with it.

                        [–]altiuscitiusfortius 20ポイント21ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        There are people who are non religious muslims. Born into the faith, consider themselves to be muslim, but they don't practice.

                        Its not as common as in other faiths, but they are out there. I have lots of jewish friends who eat bacon, only one or two muslim friends who will though.

                        [–]Gundersonia 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        There's no established schools of Islamic thought that are okay with eating pork, no, but they've got no legal power in most countries, including most Muslim ones. So many Muslims in the world have no real obligation to follow it, and inevitably plenty will break that rule.

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                            [–]sassyprofessor 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

                            This happens all the time at my office in Dearborn, Michigan....during Ramadan....

                            [–]jl2121 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            I don't believe OPs story, but I did work in restaurants for 11 years and can tell you that plenty of people with dietary restrictions will assume that their food is free of them until they taste it. Never understood how so many people don't have any clue to just tell their server what they can't have before ordering.

                            [–]cupboard1 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            $100%

                            Yes.

                            [–]HubbaMaBubba 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

                            Most of the Muslims I know take the pork thing super seriously, but are willing to let other things slide.

                            [–]OnSnowWhiteWings 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

                            People practice their religious rules less often when they know people aren't watching.

                            [–]Stalked_Like_Corn 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            Actually, if you are desperate for food and pork is pretty much all you got, you're allowed to eat it perfectly fine.

                            [–]kotthuet 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            I know a guy who is a petty thief, he drinks a lot, never prays and does various drugs. But he wont eat pork, "because he's muslim".

                            Makes me so mad.

                            [–]lnslnslns 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            Yeah, he should gone with the super-spicy sandwich bait, or the laxative sandwich bait.

                            [–]wumbledrive 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            Yeah, next time stuck fucking laxatives and you'll know the culprit real quick.

                            [–]he_eats_da_poo_poo 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            I disagree with this. As a Muslim dude I know a lot of other Muslims that'll drink or smoke but when it comes to pork they'll so "no way man it's haram!" In any case the dude deserves it for stealing sandwiches.

                            [–]BegoneBygon 6ポイント7ポイント  (9子コメント)

                            You'd be surprised how unusually irrational people can be about this sort of thing. Soldiers in India way back when refused to fight when the powder charges they used in their guns were lubricated with pork and cow fat.

                            So if you said "you just ate a pork sandwich" you'd likely get a nice freakout. Especially if other people found out.

                            [–]NotShirleyTemple 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

                            way-back-when ---> British Colonialism/British Occupation ostensibly to protect the interests of the British East India Company.

                            irrational? Deeply felt religious convictions. The people for whom they were fighting respected them so little that the Hindus/Muslims were provided with unclean/unholy weaponry. And the British laughed about it behind their backs.

                            It was one of the many, many disdainful act caused by British hubris over years that lead to the Rebellion of 1857 (remember the winners get to name it).

                            [–]psiquiatrist 4ポイント5ポイント  (5子コメント)

                            I'd have the same reaction if I ate human meat. There's nothing inherently rational about that.

                            [–]Yoppah 10ポイント11ポイント  (2子コメント)

                            Lol yes there is, having eaten human meat that means the person who fed it to you was willing to kill and cook a human as well as feed it too you of course it's rational.

                            [–]occupythekitchen 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            Idk if I accidentally ate human meat I'd at least know what I would do if I was stranded at sea in a life boat

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                              [–]Roflkopt3r 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

                              Even more so, tons of Muslims don't keep up with that food stuff just like most of Christians don't fast and neglegt scores of other religious rules.

                              [–]jwota 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

                              Not sure how many Muslims you know, but none of the ones I know will eat pork. It's the one thing they never budge on.

                              [–]Roflkopt3r 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              Hmm you're actually right about that. I guess no pork is one of the easier rules, and one that one can easily get accustomed to. I've seen more muslims get drunk than eat pork, that's for sure.

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                                [–]PhilMcCoq 1061ポイント1062ポイント  (71子コメント)

                                I did this but with cyanide. Those fuckers won't steal my lunch, or breath, ever again!

                                [–]Excaliburkid 258ポイント259ポイント  (32子コメント)

                                How would they steal your breath?

                                [–]Im_not_wrong 409ポイント410ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                By looking so damn good.

                                [–]mrcowboyjones 37ポイント38ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                Watching in slow motion As you turn around and say

                                [–]steveexplodes 12ポイント13ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades.

                                [–]Gundersonia 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                Damn, that was fucking smooth.

                                [–]aaronclements 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                Username checks out

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                                  [–]JoshSidekick 23ポイント24ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                  http://imgur.com/YFyexZw

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                                    [–]jamesturbate 22ポイント23ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                    Oh which religion do you predominantly work with that sees cyanide as sacrilegious?

                                    [–]FireBurstRazorBack 21ポイント22ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                    Not Heaven's Gate, that's for sure.

                                    Or the people in Jonestown for that matter.

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                                      [–]jmeyer40 21ポイント22ポイント  (17子コメント)

                                      If you put Cyanide in your sandwich, label it with your name, bring it to work, someone steals it, and they die shortly after, can you be prosecuted?

                                      [–]RPGEthicsStudy 36ポイント37ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                      Sorry to break the chain of jokes, but yes.

                                      Same with setting up booby-traps in your house for burglars. You're still responsible for someone's death because you let the damaging agent out of your control, and because the person injured had no reason to suspect they would be harmed by it.

                                      Basically: If you set up something that can kill someone else, it's on par with killing them because you had no way of knowing what was going to happen. Sure, someone stealing your sandwich is wrong. But what if that person was seconds away from a diabetic coma and someone grabbed the only available food as a way to save their life?

                                      Sure, breaking into homes is wrong. But if there's a tornado coming and someone is stuck outside and they break into your house to escape the tornado, if they die because of a booby-trap in your house to prevent burglars, that's an unnecessary death.

                                      Don't set up things to harm people, even if other people have to do something wrong to get the harm.

                                      [–]SgtSlaughterEX 10ポイント11ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                      What if I make laxative brownies and they don't die but poop themselves?

                                      Will I go to jail?

                                      [–]AxLSz 5ポイント6ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                      Could be assault... some kind of poisoning I guess? My question would be what if you made those brownies and included a note that said "These brownies have laxative in them." If someone eats one, figuring the note is a fake just there to try to prevent people from eating them, would you still be liable?

                                      [–]NotShirleyTemple 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                      IANAL - I think if it's food that is labeled as 'cyanide' the rules may be different and it's in an area that excludes children & illiterate/non-English speakers, they might be ok.

                                      Unlike booby-traps, which are passive and wound everyone (emergency personnel responding to a fire, kids, and the target), this situation it would be active:

                                      The person who eats it would clearly read the sign, disregard it, and choose to consume the item anyway.

                                      There is 0 plausible deniability though, unlike spiking your own food with a laxative (because you need it) and the sandwich-thief experiencing the consequences.

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                                        [–]PhilMcCoq 22ポイント23ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                        Depends, am I Hillary Clinton?

                                        [–]Infintysloop 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                        I don't think you are, but im only like 97% sure

                                        [–]LasciviousLechery 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                        I'm only 50% sure because that person either is or isn't Hillary Clinton.

                                        [–]thedude37 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                        uh....

                                        [–]ManyRedditorsAreScum 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                        I'm sorry Judge, I thought it was almond oil. Sorry!

                                        [–]Francoberry 6ポイント7ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                        Would you be innocent if that happened? Make a sandwich laced with all kinds of deadly chemicals and clearly label it as MY sandwich. What happens if the person does? Is it your fault for them doing something they weren't supposed to? Is it illegal to make a death sandwich? So many questions that will no doubt get me on a list

                                        [–]redeyedesign 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                        No, for the same reason you can't put a landmine in your front yard because people walk across it sometimes.

                                        [–]angripengwin 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                        I'm pretty sure that yeah, you'd be guilty. A more reasonably situation would be putting like a bear trap or something in an empty house that you owned, someone broke in and got caught and bled out or whatever, you put that trap there expressly to cause harm to anyone who broke in, even though they broke in in the first place. Two wrongs don't make a right sort of thing.

                                        I'm less certain, but I think even if there was no intent, like someone broke in and bled out from the window they broke, you might still be guilty. More confident on the first case though.

                                        TLDR; guilty as all hell

                                        [–]Lukensz 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                        Well, I've heard of robbers suing people for tripping in their houses and breaking a leg...

                                        [–]airodonack 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                        I'd imagine that they would lose those lawsuits.

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                                            [–]hobskhan 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                            Fun fact: most religions forbid the consumption of deadly poison. The Peoples Temple is a notable exception.

                                            [–]shadowst17 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                            I wonder what legal trouble you would be in? They stole your sandwich, maybe you planned on killing yourself with one final sandwich. Not your fault someone else stole it and ate it right?

                                            [–]qdhcjv 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                            Cunt for men- poisoning someone's sandwich

                                            [–]Gundersonia 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                            Cunt already is for men (although women too sometimes). At least it is if you're British.

                                            [–]you_plebeian 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                            Directions unclear, poisoned self

                                            [–]freezingbyzantium 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                            Fuck you, dude! My religion forbids the consumption of cyanide.

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                                              [–]zeeyaa 244ポイント245ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                              That employee's name? Al Bert Bin Einstein

                                              [–]HawkMan79 101ポイント102ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                              As far as I know, if they knew if unknowingly it doesn't matter.
                                              the fact they stole the sandwich is far worse in that case... so i's safe to say the imaginary sandwich thief isn't very devout.

                                              [–]PrinceOWales 39ポイント40ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                              Yes it's about knowingly doing it. And contrary to ignorant belief, you don't "go to hell" just because you touched a pig any more than a Christian would say you go to hell for lying to your mom

                                              [–]thesearmsshootlasers 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                              The obvious solution is to announce to everyone that your sandwich has pig in it. Then you get to keep your sandwich.

                                              But it doesnt really matter because this is made up bullshit anyway.

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                                                [–]henrebotha 301ポイント302ポイント  (67子コメント)

                                                While this is obviously "$100% true", the idea that everyone in an office is Muslim is a thing that becomes possible once you consider that everyone on the Internet is not American.

                                                [–]gordo65 125ポイント126ポイント  (36子コメント)

                                                OK, so there's an office where they hired one and only one non-Muslim.

                                                Also, this is in a country where buying pork is legal, so probably not a majority-Muslim country.

                                                [–]pstycr 31ポイント32ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                                Buying pork is legal in Indonesia, Malaysia, India, much of Egypt.

                                                [–]joggerboy18 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                I would actually never ever buy pork in India because all the good butchers there are Muslim and would never sell pork themselves, so any pork bought in India would be immediately suspect.

                                                [–]this_sort_of_thing 5ポイント6ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                India isn't a Muslim country

                                                [–]SpringenHans 19ポイント20ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                But it has over 160 million Muslims, giving it the third largest Muslim population in the world.

                                                [–]RomanAbramovich 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                You don't have to be in a Muslim country, just a Muslim-majority area, which India has a lot of in the border regions next to Pakistan and Bangladesh.

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                                                  [–]Queen_Jezza 61ポイント62ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                  The person who made it could be a muslim too.

                                                  [–]sirgraemecracker 70ポイント71ポイント  (8子コメント)

                                                  Then they'd realize that it's a pointless dick move and accomplishes fuck all.

                                                  It's not like feeding a vampire garlic. If you're gonna make a trap sandwich put some hot sauce in it or something.

                                                  [–]kaamraan 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                  But then if nobody eats his sandwich, he's stuck with a sandwich he can't eat.

                                                  [–]Ashterothi 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                  Just to clear things up, I was deployed in Iraq for a year. There were Christians, even if in the minority, and I am sure there was nothing stopping them from having pork themselves. There are plenty of places in the world where this scenario could play out.

                                                  [–]Stalked_Like_Corn 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                  I live in a country that is 99% Muslim. Pork is available in all major grocery stores as is alcohol. Actually alcohol is pretty much available in ALL stores. Supermarkets or little convenience shops.

                                                  [–]Taxonomyoftaxes 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                  You can buy pork in almost every Muslim majority nation. Moron.

                                                  [–]henrebotha 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                  I live in South Africa. Cape Town, specifically. No-one would bat an eyelid if an office of N comprised one non-Muslim and N-1 Muslims.

                                                  [–]DerogatoryDuck 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                  So you have no problem thinking of an office with only one muslim, but the idea of there only being one non-muslim baffles you? You know there are countries where muslims are the majority right?

                                                  [–]BegoneBygon 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                  Man that's a pretty closed minded way of thinking

                                                  [–]Aeschylus- 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                  Could be India

                                                  [–]throwawayeue 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                  You must not have ever visited a Muslim country. I spent some time in Morocco and I can tell you pork is not an issue in any part of that country at least.

                                                  コメントをもっと表示する (6 返事)

                                                    [–]3DSum 10ポイント11ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                    Even in the US it's possible. Cities like Dearborn, Michigan have extremely high concentrations of Muslim populations.

                                                    [–]efraim 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                    Not true, some people on the internet are american.

                                                    [–]MyWifesABobcat 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                    I work in America and im one of two non muslims in my office.

                                                    [–]FailedSociopath 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                    everyone on the Internet is not American

                                                    Hits me right in the feels to have so much freedom. Is there a charity that can help these poor people become what God intended?

                                                    [–]concord72 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                    This could easily happen in America, just like how we have entire restaurants and various businesses that are comprised of the same ethnicity/religion. OP could just live in a heavily populated muslim area or work in like a doctor's office that has muslim doctors. I live in NYC and could easily find an all muslim office.

                                                    コメントをもっと表示する (11 返事)

                                                      [–]WhyLisaWhy[M] 45ポイント46ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                      We don't usually allow advice animals but this is so stupid I'm just gonna leave it for now.

                                                      [–]notmicelf 19ポイント20ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                      Why Lisa? Why?

                                                      [–]vne2000 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                      From the advice animals that have made all I am guessing 75% are pure bullshit.

                                                      コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

                                                        [–]Ifyouhaventbeenthere 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        Ah, the old "Blackjack Pershing" sandwich.

                                                        [–]Big_Nevs_Tache 25ポイント26ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                        Could only read this in a hybrid of Chekhov/Borat's voice. Made it $100% more realistic

                                                        [–]newtolivieri 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                        There was an LPT once... to increase the odds of no one eating your sandwich, take a bite out of it before putting it in the fridge... let us know if it works...

                                                        [–]shirinisb 63ポイント64ポイント  (16子コメント)

                                                        Oh I totally did that once, I was able to prove Mo wasn't a real Muslim because he kept sucking down that Bologna and then Ahmed came over and whipped out his cock and all 72 virgins (I shit you not) came down and began riding it. After the virgins were done they came straight over to me since I was the one that set Mo up to begin with.

                                                        [–]PotassiumArsenic 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        Let's just say they weren't virgins anymore. ;)

                                                        [–]Ghigs 16ポイント17ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                        Put 72 grapes in your lunch and the muslims might think they have died.

                                                        [–]shirinisb 15ポイント16ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                        Cherries.... Work on your translation, Sayed.

                                                        [–]ParacelcusABA 10ポイント11ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                        I'm pretty sure that was a reference to one of the translations of the Quran promising grapes in heaven.

                                                        [–]f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        Oh, really. I love grapes!

                                                        [–]PM_ME_UNIQUE_CHEETOS 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        It's a myth. The context in the supposed passage makes it impossible to mistake them for grapes.

                                                        [–]Swanksterino 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        TIL Muslims really like grapes. More pork sandwiches for me I guess.

                                                        [–]shirinisb 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        Mistranslated. He meant cherries, like "I'm going to wrath the fuck out of your cherries"

                                                        [–]PizzaProwler 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        Then the prophet Muhammad (PBUH) entered and bestowed upon me 100 riyal.

                                                        [–]DeeSnarl 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        Sounds like you're no longer a vigen ;)

                                                        [–]CrimsonofRose 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                        Serious question... Considering how old the religion is and how many people died... do people really think they will get 72 virgins? I mean... even if there were virgins in the beginning...

                                                        [–]raveiskingcom 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                        And let's just say they aren't virgins anymore... if you know what I mean.
                                                        I mean, they had sex.

                                                        [–]alderaan_never4get 32ポイント33ポイント  (13子コメント)

                                                        I had a buddy who is Muslim in high school that didn't know gummy bears were made with pork product. When we broke the news to him, he didn't need talk for the rest of the lunch period. He apparently really loved gummy bears. The next day we had pizza with what he thought was beef sausage. We broke the news again to him. Man I've never seen someone so upset over pizza. Poor guy couldn't catch a break that week haha.

                                                        [–]Jack_Horner 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        Hahahahahalal

                                                        [–]ReactsWithWords 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        I hate folks who are Rule Police, but this one is a clear Code Five.

                                                        [–]MoazNasr 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        Kind of off-topic but it's kind of refreshing to be on a Reddit thread that isn't calling me and other Muslims "fucking terrorists" and other pleasantries!

                                                        [–]ofsinope 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                        Isn't stealing a bigger crime than eating pork?

                                                        [–]penshavebeenlifted 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        Sinning is sinning, hard to compare what's worse. But stealing is definitely worse than eating pork unknowingly. P.S. Most sinning counts as wronging yourself, but with stealing you wrong someone else. You have to get their forgiveness along with God's forgiveness to atone for the sin.

                                                        [–]ByleKurnside 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                        i dont believe you

                                                        [–]ShootTrumpIntoTheSun 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                        It doesn't count as a "sin" if they didn't do it knowingly or intentionally.

                                                        [–]_sorry_ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        also it is not a sin to eat pork unknowingly. the sin is more the conscious decision to eat it

                                                        [–]SirPerro 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                        In my office the thief stopped eating the sandwiches once they were made of 2/3 bread, 1/6 pork and 2/6 Carolina reapers of burn in fucking hell

                                                        [–]xhosSTylex 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                        I once worked in a large office. Me and a girlfriend at the time (she worked their as well) ordered pizza for lunch. A couple hours later, I go back to the fridge to discover it is gone. Empty box (that's rude in its own right). Properly angered, I decided to send out an office-wide email detailing our pizza-ownership and my thoughts regarding the filth that perpetrated this crime.

                                                        Well, if that were not a bad decision in itself, I messed up and sent the email company-wide (a fortune 500). I was not fired, but the CEO did respond to my management. It was embarrassing to say the least. The culprit(s) were never caught.

                                                        I don't put anything in community refrigerators anymore. I don't use email anymore, either.

                                                        [–]westoneng 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                        You sir just sent one ot them to Hell! haha

                                                        [–]Flux85 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                        Why are we in such disbelief that something like this happened? I've heard of much crazier shit going on at my and other peoples jobs.

                                                        [–]imnotacrazyperson 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                        My last job had a bathroom battle with the other office on our floor. It ended with someone taking a shit in the middle of the floor and people from my office being required to have management escort employees to the restroom. Rumor was that it was someone from the other office just trying to get us kicked out. Office folks get petty as fuck real fast.

                                                        [–]DinoBurner 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                        required to have management escort employees to the restroom

                                                        That sounds like borderline human right violation.

                                                        [–]mbene913 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        OP works for ISIS

                                                        [–]lifeliberty 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                        Aloha snackbar!!!!

                                                        [–]strong_potato 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                        Why is this one hard to believe? Like there are probably plenty of offices where everyone is Muslim.

                                                        [–]jokersleuth 1ポイント2ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                        Right...especially since devout and practicing Muslims (especially those living in non Muslim countries) will double check ingredients on everything they buy to make sure they don't contain anything haram. Eating some Random sandwich is out of the question. Hence why this post is bullshit.

                                                        Source: am Muslim.

                                                        Edit: even most no so religious will check to make sure a product doesn't contain anything haram.

                                                        [–]azreinman 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        who wants to bet someone from /r/the_donald made this

                                                        [–]Dunhilda -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                        Keep doing it, and then after a week. make an announcement that all of your sandwiches were containing Pork, and someone is going to hell.

                                                        Or what ever they believe the punishment is for eating pork.

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