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(Florida) A former students mother wants to sue for emotional damages after they saw me perform with my band. (self.legaladvice)

Bandthrowaway9282 が 投稿

I'm a high school biology teacher, on the weekends and during summer I'm the lead singer of a band(synth and gothic rock).

Last night we were performing at a local restaurant/bar. It was packed and I didn't even see my former student there. He's 17 or 18 and graduated in May, his mother was supposedly with him.

This morning I got a call from the mother say how she and her son saw me on stage and were "deeply disturbed to see someone that he admired and respected acting like a rebellious teenager" and that "her son has had issues since then". She's threatening to sue me for emotional damages and to "spread the word that I'm not normal".

My husbands also in the band(guitarist) and he's also a teacher at the same school, the student was in his classes but she's focused on me.

Would the union be able to help? It's clearly not a school issue. Can she actually sue me for emotional damages because her son saw a band playing?

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[–]AndyBatcountry 835ポイント836ポイント  (109子コメント)

(Florida)

I know we tell you to post your location but in this case we would have been able to guess. :-P

Like the other posters have said - she's insane and her claims are a joke. If you get official court documents don't ignore them but until then (and 99% you will never be sued - she certainly won't be able to find a lawyer to help her) just ignore her.

Oh - and make sure you add the following byline to your fliers

"A band so rocking your mum will want to sue us"

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 521ポイント522ポイント  (14子コメント)

"A band so rocking your mum will want to sue us"

I know, my inner 16 year old is thrilled that I'm still scaring parents.

[–]flmvdvsrg 74ポイント75ポイント  (0子コメント)

Probably the best thread in this sub today. This is pretty fucking awesome, both you and your husband sound great.

[–]GroundsKeeper2 23ポイント24ポイント  (0子コメント)

She's probably upset that her little sunshine wants to be in a band now.

[–]The_Sven 16ポイント17ポイント  (2子コメント)

Do you know if she has any other children in the school system? If she does it may be a good idea to appraise your principal of the situation. Better to hear it from you than her.

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

None that I know of.

[–]The_Sven 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's good. Hope this blows over quickly for you.

[–]nimble2 36ポイント37ポイント  (5子コメント)

Just wait a few years, and you will be scaring yourself. :-)

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 74ポイント75ポイント  (4子コメント)

I already have 3 kids(2 step kids and 1 biological).

[–]Rootkit9208 62ポイント63ポイント  (3子コメント)

Shit, you're scaring me now.

[–]GroundsKeeper2 73ポイント74ポイント  (1子コメント)

You should sue.

[–]peekdasneaks 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you do, be sure to ignore the ridiculous threats!

[–]erfling 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

My stepdaughter plays percussion in the high school band. She recently asked her private tutor to show her some stuff on the drum kit, specifically how to play War Pigs. I think I finally raised a drummer (nobody tell my actual drummer)

[–]magicdragonfly 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hope one day your 16 year olds will scare you in return. (In a good way!) I can imagine that would be the best gift your kids could give you.

[–]speedbirdconcorde1 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you get official court documents don't ignore them

This might be a case worth loosing: "A band so hardcore we've been found legally responsible for damaging young minds"

[–]Sur_Rebuttal 145ポイント146ポイント  (25子コメント)

She is insane. She can always "try" to sue you; however I doubt she will find an attorney willing to take such a ridiculous case. As a former teacher, however, I would report this incident to your principal and keep him/her in the loop with this nutty parent.

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 48ポイント49ポイント  (16子コメント)

Luckily he's graduated so unless he has siblings she's gone permanently. I'll give the principal a call once he's back from his vacation.

[–]ZanctmaoQuality Contributor 49ポイント50ポイント  (15子コメント)

Don't even bother. The nice thing about claims this stupid is that no attorney would take that case, even an attorney she was willing to pay hourly.

Reading between the lines I'm guessing that this family is some kind of fundamentalist Christian sect. The kid is starting to act like a teenager and mom is looking for someone to blame. She found you.

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 34ポイント35ポイント  (6子コメント)

Reading between the lines I'm guessing that this family is some kind of fundamentalist Christian sect. The kid is starting to act like a teenager and mom is looking for someone to blame.

I don't think so, I've spoken to her briefly at a school open house before and she was very out spoken about her beliefs on science and religion .

[–]ZanctmaoQuality Contributor 16ポイント17ポイント  (5子コメント)

Odd. That would have explained it. Rats.

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 25ポイント26ポイント  (4子コメント)

Maybe it's what I was wearing? But he's either an adult or a few months away from being one, I'm sure he's seen worse than a woman in a corset.

[–]ZanctmaoQuality Contributor 38ポイント39ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh I didn't realize you were a woman. It might just be that he thinks you're hot and his mom is upset with the idea of a "hot for teacher" type situation. No matter what, as other posters have noted the problem is with mom here – not you and not her son.

[–]vasion123 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

This kid is in for a world of problems of if seeing a women he admires in a corset is causing him problems. Hell I admire my wife and would be ecstatic to see her in a corset.

[–]mustangwolf1997 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

She's probably one of those people who think all rock is death metal, therefore you must be a sick twisted psychopath and unfit to teach children.

Ignore her. It's best not to entertain such idiocy. It will just piss you off.

Oh, but if she does find some moron willing to take her case, it's very important that you respond once you're served to avoid a default judgement.

[–]Mississauga49 13ポイント14ポイント  (5子コメント)

Attorney here. Some idiot lawyer would take this case. But this lady is insane. Somebody above said if you get court documents don't ignore them-this is true. Do not. but I would say you have little to nothing to worry about.

[–]ZanctmaoQuality Contributor 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

I can't see any complaint that wouldn't violate CR 11 on its face. Not only are there no damages, I don't believe there's any standing or any plausible tort. That's why I don't think any attorney would take the case, because even being paid hourly it's not worth getting hit with sanctions.

[–]ccmulligan 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's why I don't think any attorney would take the case, because even being paid hourly it's not worth getting hit with sanctions.

Judging by the fact that I routinely file motions for sanctions (in Texas, it's TRCP 13 that covers sanctions for baseless pleadings), I would say that there's a greater than zero chance some attorney is in fact that dumb. Never underestimate the power of a recent graduate hard-up for money willing to take this on an hourly basis.

[–]Mississauga49 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This right here. Some idiot would also do this on contingency.

[–]pnwzen 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

If she "spreads the word that she is not normal" is that defamation?

[–]Justagreewithme 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

No, as long as what she says is opinionated and/or factual. "Normal" is an opinion, you cannot say someone cannot have an opinion. If she was on stage in a corset, then saying she was on stage in a corset is perfectly legal. When someone starts claiming things that are factually not true is when they get into trouble. Like if she said "she started having sex on the stage" when she obviously didn't, then that could be considered defamation.

[–]MagicGin 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

I disagree; there's no harm in covering your bases and if she's crazy enough to threaten a lawsuit over this she's crazy enough to make up a story. /u/Bandthrowaway9282 has already confirmed as such by noting that

She's threatening... to "spread the word that I'm not normal".

It's well within the realm that nothing will happen, but it's also just as likely that suddenly various things will suddenly appear in the story that will be more difficult to explain after the fact rather than before. Simply leaving a note with the principal that a mother of a past student was threatening to spread rumors about her wouldn't be a bad idea, depending on the character of the principal and so on.

This isn't going to end up in a court room but a three minute call might save a migraine down the road.

[–]Beeb294 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree with this.

A parent may not be able to cause legal damage over this, but they can call and complain to the principal, which could make OP's life more difficult.

[–]LinearFluid 16ポイント17ポイント  (3子コメント)

This. IMO I don't think that the situation will escalate to a law suit.

What you have to think about is that if she is convicted and as you say a very outspoken person. She will try and use the school even if she does not have a child there or social media to advance her agenda.

What you need to do is be ready for damage control. Your school should not have a problem with you being in a band. What might become a problem is how she paints you to the school and other parents. She can twist and turn even the most innocent thing. I would start documenting everything that she does. If she talks to anyone and you have access to them get a copy of anything that they get from this parent.

The only thing I could see is you coming here in the future and asking about advice on slander and you are the one now initiating legal action.

Also every Teacher in Florida has a service contract. Obtain yours. Read it carefully. Find anything that relates to morality clauses and make sure that you are abiding by them. Also figure out how vague or specific they are.

I do not want to worry you. But teachers are in the public eye. Contracts are written and have morality clauses because of who they are and what they do. it is becoming more of an issue especially with social media and while teachers have had morality clauses in their contracts for a while, the enforcement of them was almost nil. Social media has changed that and now just a single person can make something that is benign into a dilemma for the school. Depending on how strong of a push they might try and invoke some of these clauses because of that push just to be rid of it. So it is up to you but I would really start off monitoring the social aspects and also her interaction with the school as I would almost guarantee she will contact them. If you feel the need after some monitoring then I would actively pursue with your union rep your options. I am giving you a worst case scenario here. But I feel that being proactive on the down low while a hassle is something you need to do. Definitely don't call attention to yourself if she does not escalate socially as your private life is yours and you don't want to damage yourself.

As a note if your band has a website, twitter or such being Gothic in nature that scene is a little on the edge and is very stylistic and by nature Dark. Watch as what you see as benign dark like some humor or pictures can be taken way out of context and turned on you. So keep your social media in mind.

This might be a good read for you:

http://digitalcommons.law.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1253&context=elj

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 11ポイント12ポイント  (2子コメント)

Everyone in the school knows of the band and has no issue with it. The principal even wants us in the talent show next year(toned down a bit of course).

[–]seanfish 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, maybe take the song "I willingly have relations with underage students on a regular basis" off the set for that gig.

[–]LinearFluid 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That is good to know. Sounds like you don't have anything to be worried about. Like I said I was worst casing it. Social Media has its own legs. Still I would ask anyone that receives anything from her to forward it to you. it sounds like this will be easier to do as this is in the open. Good luck to you.

[–]orlanderlv 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

It's not insane if the majority of the state feels the same way. It's called religion and in Florida it's a problem of pandemic proportions.

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Our drummer is a pastor,that should shut them down pretty fast.

[–]magicdragonfly 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Given the number of different Christian churches in the south, I can see this one running away along the lines of "yeah, but they don't follow the one true god." I mean, Florida, for heaven's sake.

[–]smokinbbq 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What are the chances of this crazy woman starting rumours and making false accusations that then ruin OP's teaching opportunities?

[–]nimble2 30ポイント31ポイント  (0子コメント)

Aside concurring with "she's insane" and "she has no claim" I would only add that if she contacts you again tell her to contact your attorney and if she contacts you again after that have your attorney send her a letter telling her that if she continues to harass you that he will take whatever legal action is necessary to force her to cease and desist. Don't engage personally with a crazy person.

[–]RocheCoach 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

If she sues, you'll receive a summons. You have to show up to court if you get one of these. Don't fret, though. As soon as you get there, you, the clerk, the judge, the staff, the baliff, and the homeless guy hanging outside on the sidewalk will laugh this woman all the way back under her rock.

[–]Akavinceblack 30ポイント31ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is she going to name you as an accessory because he's now stealing her eyeliner?

Honestly, I don't think you have anything to worry about but this is almost at a Spinal Tap-level of comic greatness.

[–]--MyRedditUsername-- 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

If you are sued get an attorney. But she isn't going to sue, because she has no claim

[–]thatcrazylady 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Since this is related to your employment as a teacher, a good union will help. It does, though, depend on which union you belong to.

[–]Hatter79 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Either a) that student is of such sensitive constitution thst he should not be allowed into the outside world and/or b) his mom is a ragig lunatic who loves to find a cause no sane person would take up. What were they doing in a bar where a goth band would be playing in the first place?

On a personal note, your story reminded me fondly of my highschool. We had a reoccurring substitute teacher that also happened to be lead guitar in an amazing local metal band (STL area in the 90s). One of my favorite teachers.

[–]Tarnsman4Life 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

Stories like this make me believe filing a frivolous lawsuit should be a crime, like a serious crime, because fools like the woman who's threatening the OP is the reason so many of our courts are clogged.

[–]ACNL 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

it shouldn't be a crime. instead the judge can throw it out and have the person who made the stupid lawsuit pay a hefty fine to the person he/she sued. free money baby!!!!!!!!!

[–]Kakkerlak 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

Can she actually sue me for emotional damages because her son saw a band playing?

It's theoretically possible that she could file such a lawsuit, though as noted most attorneys would not assist her and it is extremely unlikely she is legally educated enough to do it correctly by herself. You would respond, and (colloquially) the suit would be "thrown out of court".

Intentional infliction of emotional distress requires that your conduct be willful and intended to cause emotional distress to the victim. Your conduct would also have to be "outrageous" and "intolerable in a civilized society". Your band's performance is unlikely to meet any of those criteria.

Negligent infliction of emotional distress requires (and this varies by State) that you have done something else negligent that caused damage to the plaintiff that either was associated with physical injuries or was so damaging as to manifest itself as medically treatable injuries. NIED cases almost always come from negligent conduct that causes the death of a plaintiff's loved one.

Ignoring her is inexpensive, but a scolding letter from an attorney warning her of the penalties of slander would be more satisfying.

[–]Mississauga49 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I believe in Florida for NNIED there is the zone of danger/impact rule/test. Google it. I think you'll be fine.

[–]Kakkerlak 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yup, the Impact Rule is important in Florida, but it's not absolute.

Even if OP's conduct onstage were determined to be the proximate cause of measurable medical injuries to the plaintiff's child, it would also need to be determined to be negligent.

"Musical Negligence" is a pretty great band name.

[–]pooptits1 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

No real advice here, you must rock pretty fuckin' hard

[–]Volt1968 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I do not think you will have any legal issue. But...

I had a boss who was a member of a very "different" type of band. He got on the front page of a local and popular hipster newspaper and had a big article on his band. Without doubt this cause him some significant issues at our work. The board of directors were calling and wanting to know why we hired him. I suspect it negatively affected his advancements.

[–]Lehk 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Unfortunately, there exists a large number of painfully stupid people out there, and you have encountered one of them.

Ignore unless you actually get served. Do not have any communication with her at all.

[–]Machete_dont_tweet 8ポイント9ポイント  (5子コメント)

Not a lawyer but a teacher. The only thing you might want to consider is that some districts require you to put in writing and have approval for any extra work you do on the side. I know that my district requires it. They can refuse if the job creates conflicts with teaching or if the district deems it unfit work for a teacher. Every year the district lawyer shows us a news clip about a woman whose teaching license was revoked because she wore a bikini on weekends to work on a fishing boat. It might not be a bad idea to give your Union (or "professional association") a quick call and heads up. They won't be bound to tell your employer about it usually but they can give you an idea of how to handle it if crazy pants mom takes this to your principal and demands you face disciplinary action for performing. Probably nothing, but better safe than sorry.

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 10ポイント11ポイント  (4子コメント)

I've never had a school ask what I do outside work and if they did I'd tell them to screw themselves, they don't own me.

[–]Machete_dont_tweet 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's good. Our district makes us watch these presentations every year and drills this into us.

[–]jmurphy42 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

You may want to talk to your union rep just to be sure. Every district I ever taught in, the contract said I needed approval for outside work.

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

They don't care as long as there's no schedule issues or conflict of interest(i.e. working for a rival school).

[–]Pnk-Kitten -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That doesn't sound legal. It might be, but I have never heard of that aside from you not being able to work in 2 public school districts at once.

[–]pottzie 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

So..... YouTube link to the band?

[–]macimom 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I dont think she can find a lawyer who will take her case. If sh does you can probably fine a motion for sanctions against the lawyer and her for bring a groundless lawsuit.

Ignore her completely-advise your principal and your union. DONT ignore any actual legal document you may receive (you won't)

[–]AkumaBengoshi 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

No.

[–]fappyday 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Contact a union rep. The better play on her part is to go after the school board (yes, I realize that this has nothing with your professional life) because they are political positions. The school board may simply cave in to make this situation go away. That may mean that you could lose your job. That's a worst case scenario, but if she's motivated enough, she could really screw you over. Ask your union rep if the union has an attorney and meet with them as soon as you can. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

[–]InvadedByMoops 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

"her son has had issues since then"

read: her son thinks you're hella dope and has gotten into goth rock

[–]swaggler 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What a crack up. Enjoy the moment mate. Hilarious.

[–]oxycontiin 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

If I saw my teacher rocking out I'd be very impressed. I hope you get the chance to laugh in that lady's face some time. Also how did you manage to get your husband teaching at the same school as you? I'm from Toronto, but I would have expected that to be nearly impossible in either country. I suppose there's nothing officially against it, but here I'd expect someone along the way would have stepped in and separated you into different schools. Unless you guys are in an area where there's only one school nearby, the chances of that happening on its own is crazy.

[–]IwantTHATonetoo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

At my high school (fairly large school in a suburb of Los Angeles) we had two teachers whose spouses were also teachers at the same school. IANAL, but I don't think there are any laws stateside about it.

[–]Draqur 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just be careful about your job. I'd be worried she'd start stalking the venues you play at, and record your shows. Cherry pick lyrics, and make you out to be a bad person.

Not too long ago there was a female teacher that entered in bikini (the least of the "bodybuilding") contests and was nearly fired for it after parents complained about her. It wasn't like some spring break wet t-shirt contest. These are more disciplined fitness contests. Requiring strict nutrition/workout plans. You know, the kind of person that may be considered an inspiration to some (/r/fitness)?

But then again, she was in Utah.

http://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2015/10/23/teacher-pictures-bikini-fitness-social-media-pkg.ktvx

Just one example, there's many unfortunately... I think it's pretty crappy how teachers personal lives are controlled by their district. It's not like they're even making ridiculous money for all the control some districts have over them.

[–]SleepyConscience 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This might seem a little nuts but I would actually encourage her to sue you. Her claims are absolutely meritless, so there's really no risk, but it would make a decent news story and could bring your band some free publicity. People always eat up absurd lawsuit stories, plus it plays nicely into the overly sensitive, entitled millennials and their asshole patents angle too.

[–]Menial_Tasking 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

My ribs hurt from laughing at this.

The students mum is on some top notch drugs to think this could ever work anywhere.

[–]mojoman913 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

/r/floridaman is begging you to cross post.

[–]dirtcreature 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What are your lyrics like? Can you give us more background on what would have upset them?

[–]GroundsKeeper2 -4ポイント-3ポイント  (5子コメント)

Were you guys using satanic props or "evil" looking costumes? Or were you dressed normally?

[–]OhShitItsSam 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

What does that matter? Nobody forced this person to stay and watch the band. If they don't like it they can leave.

[–]-d0ubt 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah but over sensitive, bored parents are quite a force to be reckoned with, and 'Satan' is a great way to get them riled up.

[–]GroundsKeeper2 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just asking.

[–]noerrorsfound 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Most importantly, let's remember that it's make-believe. This woman has mental problems. That plus she probably lives a very unsatisfying life which leads to her hatred of anyone doing something they enjoy.

[–]Bandthrowaway9282[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Goth subculture has nothing to do with satanism.

[–]Grimsterr -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

ROFL, seriously, just ROFL is the only response for this one.

Ignore this insane bitch, unless you get served with papers then act on those, but I bet you won't so just ROFL.