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The sperm bank refused my sperm.Light (self.confession)

thisismyconfession34 が 投稿

I've been having a bit of money trouble lately due to the fact that my sister moved in with me after her divorce. I'm doing my PhD right now and I'm super busy so I'm trying to find work that has a high hourly rate so that I can work as fewer hours as possible. One of my friends told me that he used to donate sperm from which he got around $200 per week. It was good pay, but I didn't know if it was something that I wanted to do. I got him to give me their details just in case. Eventually, after not being able to find anything better after taking into account time/effort/pay, I made an appointment. Their website said that they were looking for well educated, healthy men between the ages of 18 and 30. They also said that they would need to screen for genetic disorders and such, so they would need to do a blood test and a physical exam. I'm healthy and other than my grandfather, my family is free of any serious illness, so I thought it would be a pretty speedy process.

On the day of my appointment I went into the clinic and the clerk had me fill out a bunch of paperwork. After a while I was led into a room and told that the doctor would be with me in a minute. When the doctor came in we talked about my family history and all that. Then she said she needed to do the physical exam so she left me a gown and told me to put it on as she left the room. When she came back in, she started examining me. She measured my height and weight. After noting my height, she told me that men have to be at least 5'8" in order to donate, so there wasn't any point continuing. She suddenly got really impatient and told me that I wasted her time. It wasn't my fault, no one told me. It made me feel pretty bad because from what I read on their website, I had all of the boxes checked - well educated, healthy, intelligent etc. It was really awkward because she wasn't even trying to hide the fact that she was angry with me. She left the room so that I could put my clothes back on and then I left without even having a blood test done.

It was really humiliating. She said that women wouldn't want to use my sperm, so it would be a waste of time and money donating it. Healthy, well educated, intelligent? Nope. In the sperm donation business, apparently if you're short, nothing else matters. I'm not easily rattled, but she talked about it in such a callous way.... It was very brutal (to say the least). It does makes sense now that I think about it, but prior to this it hadn't even occurred to me. When my friend asked how it went I lied and told him that I didn't go through with it because I thought it was creepy. It was quite disparaging and demoralizing and I imagine that it will be a story I take to my grave - hence the confession.

Tl;dr: Need money. Friend suggested sperm donation. Tried to donate sperm. Spent days filling out forms and mapping my family history of illness. Met with doctor. Doctor told me I am too short to donate despite being well educated, in good health, etc - donating it would be a waste of time and money because "women wouldn't want it." Hurt feelings. Lied to friend regarding why I didn't donate sperm. Feel bad for lying. Truth is embarrassing. This confession.

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[–]paxgarmana 103ポイント104ポイント  (15子コメント)

better to be rejected because you are short than because of some genetic illness

I'm 5'7 also

[–]thisismyconfession34[S] 52ポイント53ポイント  (13子コメント)

I'm 5'7 also

I'm 5'4". 5'8" was just the lower bound.

[–]Unemployed-Rebel 32ポイント33ポイント  (3子コメント)

How did they not notice that from the get go? There's a pretty noticeable difference between 5'8" and 5'4"

[–]Nega_Sc0tt 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

Women can't gauge length very well. Or girth, for that matter.

[–]13a13y 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm female. I'm shocked when I realize how much shorter my friends are compared to me when we take pictures.

[–]charliebeanz 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Am woman, can confirm. All I know about height is "about as tall as me" and "taller than me".

[–]ihavetopee32 27ポイント28ポイント  (2子コメント)

That's on that stupid doctor and her staff. At 5'4" it wouldn't be that hard to guess you are not at their requirement.

Anyway, men with brains are far less common. I say you're winning. :)

[–]wazlib18 -3ポイント-2ポイント  (1子コメント)

No need to insult the medical staff like that, everyone makes mistakes.

[–]thisisanadventure 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Right, and of course then everyone proceeds to take it out on the person least responsible for the mistake.

[–]FluffyWof 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you don't mind me asking, what ethnicity are you?

[–]0xRipperx0 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'm 5'4" too bro I know how you feel.

[–][削除されました]  (2子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]0xRipperx0 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    That is inspiring, but it just sucks when most of the population in my town I have to look up at and can never meet eye to eye. I always feel embarrassed going out :/

    [–]Quiinton 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    As a 5'5" guy, I'm also pretty into 5'4" guys.

    Maybe it's because I have really bad eyesight but I can't even tell how tall guys are 99% of the time.

    [–]Champigne 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Well it doesn't sound like he even made it that far.

    [–]jns1123 145ポイント146ポイント  (23子コメント)

    Sorry that happened to you. If it makes you feel any better I like short guys. Never been with a guy over 6 ft. So it's personal preference. Don't let it ruin your confidence

    [–]thisismyconfession34[S] 54ポイント55ポイント  (20子コメント)

    Don't let it ruin your confidence

    It's a little hard not to haha.

    Sorry that happened to you. If it makes you feel any better I like short guys.

    Thanks (:

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx 19ポイント20ポイント  (17子コメント)

    As someone who is 5'6" and has been rejected multiple times for my height.

    I totally understand your pain. I don't want kids but had considered donating sperm because I'm well educated, healthy etc. I have good genes. No reason not to keep them in the pool. But if women don't want it because I'm shorter than 5'8" then fuck it.

    [–]thisismyconfession34[S] 24ポイント25ポイント  (10子コメント)

    I totally understand your pain.

    A man's semen is veritably the essence of his being. When someone says "yeah, you can stop; it's a waste of time, literally no woman wants any of that", it's very hard not to take personally.

    I completely understand height being a factor for a recipient, like eye color, hair color or stature. But sperm banks don't allow you to donate if you're below average height because no woman would choose your sperm.

    I get it, I really do, but it sucks.

    But if women don't want it because I'm shorter than 5'8" then fuck it.

    That's easy to say. Personally, I like the idea of being an attractive mate but that possibility seems to completely disappear simply because I'm short and there's nothing I can do about it - it's an absolute. This happens regardless of any other traits. Women, when they are at their most logical, having no romantic attachments or cloudy, emotion driven impulses, choose anyone other than us to procreate with because we are short.

    The only thing we can say is "fuck it" because there's nothing we can do about our situation, but that doesn't make it any less difficult to stomach.

    [–]super-nsfw 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Women, when they are at their most logical, having no romantic attachments or cloudy, emotion driven impulses, choose anyone other than us to procreate with because we are short.

    Getting rejected because you're short is one thing, but getting rejected because you're short while simultaneously constantly hearing the narrative that "it's who you are inside, not how you look" is the part that would piss me off.

    Also, this clinic is fucking pathetic to not put in the minuscule effort to state this fact outright.

    [–]raptorrage 6ポイント7ポイント  (7子コメント)

    There's people out there that motherfucking love licorice ice cream, but because the demand isn't financially profitable, they don't make it. Plenty of short guys marry

    [–]thisismyconfession34[S] 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Of course plenty of short guys marry. I was talking specifically about sperm donation. When women choose a sperm donor, there is variability in build, eye/hair color, race and so on. However, when given the option, women universally choose to procreate with tall men. Or, maybe more accurately, they universally choose not to procreate with short men.

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx 2ポイント3ポイント  (5子コメント)

    That's fine. But it makes you feel like the second or even third choice.

    Like we dont marry because a woman wants us. We marry because a woman settles for us.

    Like you went to TCBY and ordered the rocky road ice cream, but they were all out so you settle for mint chocolate chip. They are out of that too! So you just get a vanilla milkshake.

    Us short guys are that vanilla milkshake and it sucks. Granted sometimes people order us right off the bat. But to be a 3rd choice is rough.

    [–]Igby8776 8ポイント9ポイント  (3子コメント)

    I'm a short guy and while I agree to you to some extent... I think you're blowing it out of proportion like 500%. Don't you think personal style, personality, confidence all factor into the mix too? Even at first glance I don't just look at a woman's height. I look at her face and her body and her shape and if she looks happy.. Height isn't the only parameter.

    And even then if a woman wants to judge me just on my height, she's a piece of shit I want no part of.. Not to fuck or to marry. But being smart and witty and a little ballsy definitely helps if you want their attention.

    Haven't you seen those tall lanky gangly uncoordinated goofballs who dont even know what to do with their limbs? Shrug.

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx -4ポイント-3ポイント  (2子コメント)

    I get that. But height has been a recurring issue of shallowness in women I've met.

    It's perfectly fine to have preference. The problem I've run into is far too many women who say "I could never date a man who's shorter than me."

    It's one of the few true deal breakers I've seen from women. I've never heard a woman say something like "I could never date a guy taller than me." Or "I could never date a ginger."

    [–]Igby8776 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Well, I'm a ginger and I do get it from time to time. Omg ewwww ginger. The trick is to not take it personally.

    Edit: I want to say... Look elsewhere for women, stop looking for that type that continues to say that? Superficial bitches aren't what I look for when dating or even something really temporary like a quickie lol.. Fun, down to earth, non judgemental, these are good qualities that you should look for. I have called women out on the tall double standard and they all admit it right up front that its a fucked character flaw, lol.

    I don't believe "my juices only flow when there is a man taller than me". I believe its much more societal / social pressuring and maybe even programming. Ever hear the phrase its not the size of your tool its how you use it? Not right 100% of the time but damn near...

    [–]clumpymascara 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Just FYI, you're talking crap. It ruffles my feathers, as someone married to a short guy, for you to assume that I'm settling for him because I couldn't find a tall guy. I just dgaf about how tall people are. It's that simple.

    [–]TenaciousPoo 0ポイント1ポイント  (5子コメント)

    My husband is 5'6" and so was my only serious boyfriend. And I'm pretty cute and had enough male attention. Don't let it get you down. Anyone that focused on height is just shallow. It make take longer to find someone but when you do they'll be a higher quality of a person.

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx -2ポイント-1ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Yes, but how tall are you?

    [–]TenaciousPoo 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

    5'6" but a couple I know the wife is 5'10" and the husband is 5'6". Like I said girls like us are not as common but are worth the wait. Have faith and don't limit your expectations. I'm sure you are worth her wait as well.

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

    I know it happens. I have a sister who is 6'1 and her husband is 5'10. (She's adopted.)

    It's just been the recurring theme with women. And it seems to be acceptable to be shallow about. Like I'm an asshole if I would never date an overweight woman but they're just selective if they wouldn't date a guy at least 3in taller than them.

    [–]TenaciousPoo 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I don't think it's a problem either way as long as it is a pure attraction preference you don't have much control over that. You get into the shallow zone when it is a mental prejudice. Like saying you will never date a fat girl/short guy period and then never even see that person as an individual because of it. Personally, I like guys who look unique in some way. The typical tall white preppy jocks all look the same to me and are not attractive to me even though I can appreciate and recognize they are conventionally attractive.

    Don't be afraid of hot/cute girls. I think you could miss out on something with the way you think the world is. There are lots of variations and lots of cute girls like guys for more than just being GQ hot.

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    But that's what I see. The worst was a girl who admitted she had been crushing on me for years. But then tacked on, she could never date me because "I could never date a guy whose shorter than me." I'm 5'6" she's 5'7" at best. I was never really interested in her but it's a sentiment I've heard probably one too many times. Because it ends up being a very firm "never." Which is pretty shallow.

    I would assume it's just a "young immature" girl thing but I've heard it from women of all ages. Hell I've heard it from a 30year old whose 6'4". Personally I think she's delusional if she thinks she'll find a guy whose 6'4"+ and is a good match for her before she's 90. It's just so common.

    It doesn't stop me from trying. Besides my height I'm Fairly attractive, in good shape and I'm financially stable. So I've got that going for me. And yes the majority of women I've dated have been taller than me. So I know it's possible. But for every girl I've even had a shot with there have been 3 who said "you're too short." And shit! I'm not even that short compared to most women. I cant imagine how bad it is for some guys who are 5'0".

    [–]theoreticaldickjokes 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I've never dated a tall guy either. Girls like us exist. I don't consciously discriminate either way, but I seem to have a pattern.

    [–]WolfgangTheDopest 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    OP should hook up with this girl eh?

    [–]PacificBreeze 11ポイント12ポイント  (3子コメント)

    You're in great company with people like Frank Sinatra, Dustin Hoffman, Frank Lloyd Wright, Tom Cruise, and many many others.

    [–]tom_still_waits 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

    They all got turned away from the sperm donor too?

    [–]iaintsuspicious 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

    No. They're all short

    [–]tom_still_waits 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    So they were allowed to donate their sperm?

    [–]meatforsale 31ポイント32ポイント  (33子コメント)

    I got rejected, because my daughter is autistic. My buddy got rejected, because he's 5'7". Another friend got rejected, because he only has a high school education. It sucks, but it's just how society works. I mean, I totally get why I was rejected, but the other two rejections were kinda ridiculous.

    [–]spectre_theory 34ポイント35ポイント  (2子コメント)

    but then, who says everyone should be in a position to get money for his sperm?

    [–]TheDukeofReddit 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

    It's not that as much as laying bare societies preferences and men's insecurities in a very direct way.

    Society has placed a role upon men that they are to provide. Necessities like food and shelter, security, and even a luxurious life. It's changed some, but I think most men still feel that urge, that pressure. Do it and you are acceptable (not even great), fail it and you are a failure. Most men aren't the unicorns that check every box. We all cope somehow. If you only have a high school education, you may cope by working harder. If you are short, it might drive you to be funny, or successful, or better dressed. Being rejected like that shatters those strategies someone has developed to deal with their insecurities.

    It sucks being told that no matter what you do you aren't good enough. Regardless of gender, regardless of whether you are getting paid. I think as people age they accept that though, because it'll always be true regardless of who you are for everyone at some point in their lives. Probably happens for most people quite often. Eventually, you learn that the only acceptance that matters only comes from you. It's freeing when you give it to yourself.

    [–]thisismyconfession34[S] 8ポイント9ポイント  (12子コメント)

    I got rejected, because my daughter is autistic.

    I totally get why I was rejected

    Does autism have a genetic link? I didn't know that.

    [–]Hydrangeas0813 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I'm a woman and got rejected from egg donation because I've had bouts of depression. I can't be a surrogate either. They have a million reasons why you can't donate so don't let it get you down.

    [–]LaLaLaaaNotListening 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I'm a woman and was rejected because when I was 15 I got arrested for tresspassing. I hopped a fence of a local pool to go swimming. It wasn't even on my record, I was a juvinile and charges were dropped. I just joked with the doc when she asked if I had a criminal record.

    That's the only reason. It's kind of BS

    [–]Nauin 6ポイント7ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Although not entirely confirmed like meatforsale said, I definitely believe so. Autism has a direct link between at least three generations in my family (me, dad, grandmother), so if anything it is a risk to consider right now.

    [–]Think_please 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

    This is interesting, and if you haven't been signed up for a study I think it would be worthwhile. Since the autism diagnosis hasn't been around for very long it's relatively rare to have three generations in the same family with it, and this is gold for genetic studies. Just something to consider. (it is very likely strongly genetic, btw)

    [–]Nauin 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I'd love to, but most studies in my state are focusing on children instead of adults. I'd likely have to find an individual researcher for anything like that to happen. Also I don't think it would be good for my grandmother, old lady's just turned 99 and lives out of state, so it'd be too stressful for her. Me and my dad are all for it, though.

    [–]Think_please 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    That makes sense, just thought it was worth mentioning since it's so rare. Your grandmother must have been among the first to be diagnosed, if they caught it in childhood. My family has multiple generations of another (more recently discovered) developmental disorder, so the main lab that studies it was very excited to work with us (even though the gene and disorder is much simpler).

    I'm surprised that they wouldn't want to genotype you in your state, having a full pedigree can be very useful to narrow down the large number of genes (~500) believed to be associated with ASD. Either way, good luck with it, thanks for responding

    [–]meatforsale 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

    It's not entirely confirmed. There's still a lot of research being done, and there are signs pointing to prenatal environment playing an important role in the development of autism. I just assumed they were playing it safe, as there is a likely genetic link.

    [–]Think_please 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

    There is currently far more evidence for a genetic link than for an environmental role, fwiw. Going by twin studies (monozygotic vs dizygotic) it has one of the highest genetic concordance rates among psychiatric disorders.

    [–]meatforsale 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I hadn't read any research that had stated there was a genetic link (which isn't a surprise at all and makes a lot of sense). The last study I had read about it showed that there was a definite link between maternal age, gestational diabetes, and gestational hypertension and autism.

    Of course, this isn't for every disorder on the autism spectrum as some, like Rhett Syndrome (which is now just an autism spectrum disorder), have specific genetic gene mutations associated with them that we actually know about.

    [–]Think_please 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Yeah, there are definitely some correlations with maternal and paternal age, gestational sickness, etc, but the best genes vs. environment test is in twin studies, since monozygotic vs. dizygotic should have roughly the same gestational and postnatal environments, but there is a drastic difference in the rate of autism spectrum concordance between these two types, with monozygotic twins usually around 50-70% also being on the spectrum and dizygotic anywhere from 0-25%, or roughly the same as found in non-twin siblings (which is still a bit higher than that of the general population, which could point towards genetics or environment, depending on how they controlled their studies).

    [–]castille360 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Anecdotally, having attended events that attract awkward geeky people over the years, I've observed that 2 people on the autism spectrum seem to commonly have children together that appear to also be on the autism spectrum.

    [–]Ihateverything94 -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

    how does education effect sperm?

    [–]meatforsale 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

    It doesn't. I guess the idea is that women want smart babies, and having an education is conceived as evidence of being intelligent.

    [–]avenlanzer 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I've seen some pretty stupid people with degrees, and some holy shit intelligent ones who dropped out of school.

    [–]avenlanzer -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I have a very high IQ, but come from a poor family and background and so never got formal college education. They wont take me even with an unreasonably high IQ, I have to have paid for it too. The qualifications to donate sperm are ridiculously high.

    [–]heroicwhiskey 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I worked at a sperm bank, and I spoke with the founder of the company about this one time. It's actually not due to aesthetic preferences, or didn't used to be anyway. At the time these guidelines were developed, Danish companies were at the forefront of sperm banking. In Denmark, men are tall and white. A man under 5'9" there is very uncommon, and often an indicator of poor health. Surprisingly little has changed in sperm banking since the early '90s, and even new companies tend to build their guidelines on those that were already established.

    That's a bit of an oversimplification, but I think you get the point.

    [–]1forrestgump1 19ポイント20ポイント  (27子コメント)

    It's not your fault.

    To be honest though, sperm banks are always after artificial appearances. I would never be able to donate if I was Sri Lankan, lower-middle class, 5'3'', and riddled with health problems.

    If you're really desperate for cash, tutor or donate plasma instead.

    [–]TheNinjaBacon 9ポイント10ポイント  (18子コメント)

    Wait I'm Sri Lankan and 5'11, can I not donate my sperm??

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx 4ポイント5ポイント  (16子コメント)

    No, people only want white babies...

    People are extraordinarily racist when it comes to babies. They try to play it like they aren't. But NO ONE chooses to have a baby of a different race when they go to a sperm bank. (Unless their SO is that race, then they might, but a white woman and an Asian man aren't gonna choose a black man's sperm.)

    [–]studs_up 44ポイント45ポイント  (4子コメント)

    How the fuck is that racist at all? People have the right to their own preferences.

    [–]Champigne 16ポイント17ポイント  (0子コメント)

    It's not. There's nothing wrong with wanting your child to be of the same race as you.

    [–]berrywar 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    It's racist because a decision is made on the basis of race. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with the decision.

    [–]congratsyougotsbed 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Other people are nosy too and may assume it's not your kid. Happens all the time to my black friend who has a particularly light skinned biracial child.

    [–]zsew 9ポイント10ポイント  (2子コメント)

    White people wanting white children is racist. Remarkable. Comments like this make me really glad to be alt-right.

    [–]berrywar 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    It is racist. A decision based on racist is by definition racist. That doesn't mean it's wrong or morally suspect. We need to remove the moral baggage around the word 'racist'.

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    It's not just white people. Most minorities using sperm donors choose white donors. It's just the vast majority of people who use a sperm donor are white...

    [–]super-nsfw 8ポイント9ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Almost everyone isn't racist until it's time to put your money where your mouth is.

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Funny enough I read a study on how likely various races are to date/marry outside their race.

    It found black men, and Asian women were the most likely while black women and Asian men were the least likely.

    Which is a pretty odd split.

    [–]akaioi 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    It's too bad, because you have all these lonely black women and asian men just sitting there, pining away... They could solve one another's problem, stat.

    [–]Googoo123450 -4ポイント-3ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Ya there's a whole culture here on Reddit of butt hurt Asian men that constantly complain about losing Asian women to white men. I forget what the subreddit is though.

    [–]slanid 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    NO ONE? Bit of generalization.

    [–]xxkoloblicinxx -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Maybe but 0.001% is not exactly a group I consider. I feel it a little safe to generalize in those instances.

    [–]TheNinjaBacon 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Oh I see. Got a little worried their since I don't see Sri Lankans referenced too often. Makes sense for people to be selected though when they can choose literally any kind of sperm.

    [–]Canyouhelpmeottawa 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Actually there is a storage of non-Caucasian Sperm at most sperm banks. I bet that you could sell your sperm.

    [–]thisismyconfession34[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (7子コメント)

    I would never be able to donate if I was Sri Lankan, lower-middle class, 5'3'', and riddled with health problems.

    FTFY. You have to be >5'8" in order to donate, nothing else matters.

    If you're really desperate for cash, tutor or donate plasma instead.

    I'm tutoring right now, but I'm probably only going to get one class next semester and that's not enough to support my sister and myself. If need be I can do private tutoring again, but the travel is always annoying.

    [–]ThrustingBoner 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Can't your sister work?

    [–]thisismyconfession34[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Yes, but she has just gone through a divorce and she's having a pretty hard time. This is just temporary until she gets back on her feet.

    [–]skylinepidgin 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Thanks for being a good brother. I'm sure there are other ways to rake in some cash. You just have to look around. Chin up, OP. :)

    [–]Canyouhelpmeottawa 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I am in the process of choosing donor sperm. After reading your post I went and checked and there are a few donors that are under 5'8. But not many, less then 10% of the samples available.

    Before you take this too personally please remember that for the couples or women receiving donor sperm this is a huge investment. A single sample of sperm once ordered, received by the clinic and processed is often $1000.00. This is just one of many expenses for a single cycle. (yes that $1000.00 sperm is only enough for a single cycle)

    My next cycle will cost $15,000 and will hopefully get me enough embryos for a couple of transfers.

    When I am investing $15,000 you can be damn sure I want Adonis sperm, with superman capes. And yes the donor will be taller then 5'8.

    Having said that there is a major shortage of non-Caucasian samples at sperm banks. If you were not white the height thing might be less important. Which might be why it isn't posted.

    But I am sorry that the doctor was an asshole to you. Please complain to the medical director.

    [–]SirLenzalot -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

    You're in college, don't they post up anything looking for people to participate in studies? Trying out new drugs or filling out surveys?

    Filmmaker Robert Rodriguez funded one of his early movies almost entirely through testing out heart medication

    [–]thisismyconfession34[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

    You're in college

    I'm doing my PhD. Does "in college" still apply? I'm not sure.

    don't they post up anything looking for people to participate in studies?

    I did drug trials when I was an undergrad and they're not very enjoyable. I'm not having too much trouble finding a job, I'm just really busy with my thesis, so it's mostly a time issue.

    [–]mais_je_t_emmeeeerde 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Just to have a better picture. What's your PhD about? At which institution?

    [–]BeepBoopBetty 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    So what do couples do if the man is short? Just have a kid that's half a foot taller than both parents? If we were looking for a donor, I would want a short, Hispanic donor so the kids would look something like my husband.

    [–]MDMAmonster 6ポイント7ポイント  (5子コメント)

    My friend is short and unattractive and he donates twice a week (he's also well educated and healthy). Might just be that particular sperm bank!

    [–]Googoo123450 14ポイント15ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Or he's lying

    [–]cylonrobot 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Maybe the friend placed air quotes around "sperm bank". :)

    [–]MDMAmonster 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Nope. I dropped him off on more than one occasion (we were banging at the time).

    [–]Googoo123450 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Ah okay. Came across as me saying he was lying but I was just posing that as another possible scenario.

    [–]beds_banue 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Keep your head up - this is not how women select their partners in real life.

    [–]floydspiritz 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    So you're telling me I'm flushing $200 down the toilet on a daily basis??

    [–]AlyssaJMcCarthy 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    As a woman who was just searching through a sperm donor catalog I said some men that were 5'6". I remember thinking that was kind of short, but not remarkably so. Sounds like it's a bank by bank policy.

    [–]cylonrobot 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    She suddenly got really impatient and told me that I wasted her time.

    What a terrible "doctor". Let us hope she never practices family medicine.

    [–]Hovsky 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Why does well-educated have even the tiniest bit of effect? Are the people who deal with genetic material confused about how genetics work?

    [–]Azozel 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Sounds like they're looking for people of average height. Sorry, you had a bad experience, they could have definitely been nicer and posted this requirement for you. You have to assume these people get a lot of perves so perhaps that's why they're so cranky but still that's no excuse to be rude or have a bad bedside manner.

    [–]Igby8776 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Atleasr you're well educated and whatever else. I'm short and I work nights at Walmart. I feel like I should make a confession too.

    [–]akaioi 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    That's ... jacked up, man.

    [–]aawillma 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I'm 5'9" and the sperm donor my wife and I chose is between 5'7" and 5'8". He is shorter than me, less educated, and health history isn't perfect, but we chose him because he's a good, kind person. My son is only 7 months old but he's 100th percentile for height and weight, so we'll see. Even if he plateaus early, I don't really care if he is only ever as tall as me.

    We specifically stayed away from sperm banks because of that creepy elitist attitude you described, it has a hint of eugenics to me. Plus I think they just reject short uneducated guys so they can put "all our donors are tall and smart!" in the brochure. Yeah well tall guys can be sociopaths or have anger issues just as likely as anyone else.

    This story doesn't help you at all, I know, and I'm sorry. Just know that not all women would reject short guy swimmers. In fact, I bet more would consider it if the banks didn't make that a minimum requirement to stay competitive. I have a feeling whoever you reproduce with one day won't give a rat's ass that you're shorter than average.

    [–]OldMackysBackInTown 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

    That's pretty shallow OP. I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure that even though I make the height minimum they'd probably bring up some insulting aspect about my father dying from cancer, a grandfather who had Parkinson's, etc. I don't know if I could deal with being told I'm genetically rejected based on illnesses my loved ones suffered through.

    On the other hand, as a six-foot-plus male, if all worked out I'm thinking I have a gym sock at home worth about $20,000.

    [–]masculinistasshole 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

    That's rough, man. My partner is 5'7" and I've learned through him how cruel comments about height can be for men. I'm 6' so I can't understand fully, but that nurse was way out of line. She sounds like a total cunt and you should definitely see if you can find a review site that has that sperm bank on it and write a nasty review.

    [–]MystJake 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Apparently the criteria to donate sperm are ridiculously precise, so more people get turned away than actually donate. I know it sucks, but don't take it too hard. A lot of people are in the same boat as you.

    [–]KimJongMilhouse 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Don't feel too bad. The selection process is so rigerous that I'm sure most guys get rejected.

    [–]MintJulepTestosteron 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Charles Manson is only 5'2". True story.

    [–]madagent 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    4chan manlet nightmare come true. Can't help genetics, sorry man.

    [–]deedee25252 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Wait? What?? You are too short?? Okay so women would rather tall dark and dumb???

    [–][削除されました]  (2子コメント)

    [deleted]

      [–]deedee25252 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

      After giving birth to a 6.5 lb baby, im grateful that daddy is 5'7". Thank you very much. Of course he was 4 weeks early and is now on track to be huge.

      [–]Daevi 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

      So i'm like half a foot taller than my father and he's like more than half a foor taller than his father was...

      [–]the4thbandit 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

      Stick this in a Yelp review. Usually helps me vent my frustrations.

      [–]kleinerDAX 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

      A yelp review to complain about how potential parents don't want a short child?

      This is not the sperm bank, it is the customers who don't want short people. Why should the sperm bank pay someone 200 dollars for a product none of their customers will want?

      [–]Canyouhelpmeottawa 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      I wish donor sperm Was only $200. By the time you pay for the order, get it shipped, get it processed, it is closer to $1000.00 a sample. Which is enough for one treatment.

      [–]berniesandwich 1ポイント2ポイント  (5子コメント)

      well i sure won't!

      [–]thisismyconfession34[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (4子コメント)

      Of course, Sanders supporters would take anything provided it was free.

      Sorry, I had to.

      [–]-INFOWARS- 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Lmao

      [–][削除されました]  (2子コメント)

      [deleted]

        [–]thisismyconfession34[S] -3ポイント-2ポイント  (1子コメント)

        Do you think it's more moral for you to pay for your education or for everyone else to have to pay for it? Take some responsibility for yourself.

        [–]littlestghoust 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Then there is my SO who applied once for the same reason, money. He filled out the online form, and was instantly harrassed for a few months. Sure, he's 6"2', blond hair and blue eyes but the list longer than my leg of mental illness didn't seem to matter.

        Or the fact he was born missing 7 teeth, or his feet are literally two different sizes. I love my SO to death, but the amount of health/mental problems he has would be too much for some unknown person to deal with.

        Will I have kids with him? Sure but that's because I know my SO will understand the craziness that will come from us. I would feel bad if I let his sperm out into the world without a hard warning!

        [–]ZA_SDK 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

        She sounded like a douche. She could have handled it better.

        But don't let that get you down dude. This is just crappy person spoiling your day!

        [–]RabidLobsterClaw 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

        So wrong to treat you like that. In fact it's quite stupid. Don't let it get you down.

        Suck it heightists!

        [–]stravant 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

        It's not stupid at all... it's what the receiving people want, as simple as that. Are you going to tell them that they're wrong for wanting that?

        [–]RabidLobsterClaw 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

        Yes. I will. Loudly. In their faces!...

        I was only attempting to make OP feel a bit less terrible after being treated badly by someone who should have been a little more professional.

        [–]stravant 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

        Yeah, the doctor definitely acted unprofessionally, but I don't see anything wrong with the rule itself.

        [–]saratina 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

        What a stupid rule. Sexiest man I've ever met is 5'6". Made two kids with him, they are both superb specimens.

        [–]AngiaksNanook 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Hey, I am 5'6 and I got a smokin hot wife that is 5'2. Fuck that callous bitch - that is just rude.

        Also, tall does not always equal good in any area of life.

        Edit: My wife finds me very attractive - tells me every day. Just because you are short doesn't mean there isn't someone out there for you. I dunno, I was always insecure about being short.. but then I realized how awesome I am thanks to my wife.

        Edit again: I don't think this comment is coming off the way I mean it to.

        [–]seven_wings 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

        I imagine dem ladies looking at the sperm menu be like "Nah, no short kids today. Do you have anything taller?"

        [–]bumlove 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

        That's bullshit. They should have posted that if it's a requirement to save their and everyone elses time. The doctor sounds like a bitch.

        [–]evacuationdevice 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

        Ok, well, that's bullshit. They're missing out on some dank sperm, I'm sure.

        [–]Octro 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        That sucks. You think they would have had that on a list of requirements before you wasted your time.

        [–]only1mrfstr 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        /r/beermoney may be od some use

        [–]Jaceon96 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        I'm around 5'4 too 3rd year undergraduate. Though honestly this isn't a issue for most girls I've met , but they do have ethic preference, beggers can't be choosers I guess.

        [–]Think_please 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Sorry, that sucks. Fwiw I was rejected after getting to the sperm-testing step (and had to go twice to give a sample), so we could always debate the relative sadness of being short vs having cruddy sperm. What kind of PhD, btw?

        [–]Jade_Orange 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Aww hon, no, the best sex partners and friends I've had are shorter than me.

        [–]Im6fut3 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        I can totally relate to how this made you feel. I'm a 6'3" woman and have been rejected, passed over, gawked at, and ridiculed because of my height my entire life. Especially in the dating pool! She's got such a pretty face, but she's soooo tall! I finally married a guy and he is shorter than I am. What attracted me to him was his confidence, it's all in how he carries himself. But that being said, I think the website should mention the required height to donate to save everybody's time and effort. The Dr should have been way more proffessional in how she told you. Sorry you had to go thru that.

        [–]downtherabbithole- 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        The silver lining is that at least you don't have to masturbate is a creepy medical room feeling awkward and trying to finish asap so you can get the hell out of there which means you're stressing and it takes longer and then you worry that you won't finish it in time and what if they think you've gone and unlock the door and.... Not fun at all.

        [–]vaginopathy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        As a 5'0 woman, I can't tell height differences past like 5'6. You're all tall to me. But dude that sucks. She could've been nicer about it or they should list that on the list of qualifications so you didn't have to waste your time

        [–]MoshPotato 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Over 16 years with a 5'3 guy. I'm 5'8.

        He's amazing and his height shaped him.

        Short guys can be fucking amazing.

        [–]milopooch 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        I am 5'7" and have never had a problem with women or friends or life in general. Don't let it get you down. All us shorter dudes wish we were taller, but really it is all in how you hold yourself and your own personal self worth.

        [–]CommanderDerpington 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Have you ever considered.... that she is a heinous bitch?

        [–]WhaleMeatFantasy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        well educated

        That comes through in your sperm, of course.

        [–]proseofart 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Lol tell the bitch at the desk you were donating it to her

        [–]Tinkerbelch 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        That is terrible! I really don't think women care how tall their baby's daddy is,hell half the ones I know don't even care if they had decent teeth! (Granted they weren't using a sperm bank but ya know) I mean if you are to a point of needing sperm from a bank to have a baby, I really don't think the woman is concerned with potential height of a sperm donor. Sorry you were humiliated like that :(

        [–]tor_pot 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        I'm 4'11 and my boyfriend is 5'8. To me, he is the tallest guy and I love him to death, but our first kiss he almost missed and fell over me because he didn't realize how small I was. That being said, if you dated someone around 5 ft you would still be taller and things like having sex standing up in the shower would be possible. There are a lot of good things about being short so don't let this get you down!

        [–]MaggsToRiches 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Write a shitty Yelp! That's so unprofessional! Not all women feel this way, please remind yourself when the critical thoughts creep back in.

        [–]Yalishanda 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Your tldr reads like a thesis abstract, would it had made any difference to you if she had been nice about it?

        [–]XtremePeace -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

        That's fucking bulshit man. If I were you I would call that fucking cow some bad names and ruthlessly point out her flaws. You should have been brutal but now you are just a sorry ass. Women are cruel and irrational we have to react some times.

        [–]tom_still_waits -3ポイント-2ポイント  (1子コメント)

        That's disappointing. If this was /r/pettyrevenge you would have donated your sperm all over the exam table before leaving while the doc was out of the room waiting for you to get dressed. In fact, there's still time to post over and change the ending to a happy one...

        [–]barchueetadonai -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

        Fuck, I'm 5-7. That really pisses me off that that would even be a thing. Also, the whole well educated thing makes no sense.