ideas are simply ahead of their time, just like mathematics predicted things in quantum physics many years before the weird ideas were confirmed. During that time, Albert Einstein favored the conventional reasoning of the day, arguing vehemently against the implications of those equations. As history turns out, Einstein was wrong in that area, as was the conventional thinking of the time. The idea that the earth was round was once thought a crazy idea. Galileo faced persecution when he put forth the idea that the earth revolved around the sun. The ideas of multiple universes, parallel realities and 10 spacial dimensions were seen as pure pseudoscience up until recently, but now those strange ideas seem to be gaining momentum.We are in a transition. We are moving away from the primitive systems of the past, where women basically had to prostitute themselves out to a husband or live alone in poverty. Love usually had nothing to do with it. It was all just business, and it was the only kind of male/female pair bonding she ever knew. The old system worked as far as maintaining a stable society. Though it had some rather nasty flaws, it allowed for the expanding of resources, creating new allies, and also ensured a large portion of men a certain degree of female companionship, which was vital for social stability. Now that the notion of romantic love has become firmly ingrained in our culture,
people are confused, frustrated and sometimes angry, because we still cling to traditional rules that are at odds with romantic love.
“Love marriages” have historically been the rare exception, not the norm. Up until around the 1800's, marrying for romance and love was considered a foolish idea. People did not expect to be in a love-based marriage. It was a duty – a tradition men and women were expected to follow and love had little to do with it. Your wife probably wasn't going to be particularly appealing, and you were expected to be OK with that, as well as vice-versa.
The institution of marriage likely lasted as long as it did throughout human history because the notion of “romantic love for everyone” never infected it on a large scale, raising expectations to near-unobtainable heights.
Over the last 50 years, we have been transitioning to a love-based relationship ideal – one which most everyone prefers, myself included. The problem is, when it comes to real feelings of love and romance, women typically are exclusively attracted to a very narrow subset of men. The notion that women vary widely in what they find attractive is grossly exaggerated.Much of the language in this book will sound hopeless on the surface, but I am merely pointing out some difficult realities we should be made aware of. Only if we are able to face reality for what it is, can we work to create a valid solution that doesn't involve outdated thinking and knee-jerk collective reactions. Certain painful truths becoming common knowledge can cause long term resentment and social instability which will not be helped by band-aid solutions. Pandora's Box has been opened and it cannot be shut. Certain unpopular ideas are becoming more and more common among men as the way women behave makes no sense to them. This book aims to show that animosity and hard feelings are NOT the answer, and neither is trying to cajole, shame, bribe (using flashy cars and high earnings), or game the system to manipulate women into relationships with men they aren't really all that attracted to. We now live in a society where romantic love is expected for everyone, and any actions we take in future society
will
be colored by the strong emotional attachment we had toward that concept. We are in a unique time in human history. The expectation of romantic pair bonds for everyone NEVER took a firm hold on society like it has today. Our society is
so emotionally invested in the concept,
that damning proof against the myths could lead to societal problems. We have the means nowadays to avoid those problem entirely, if we would just look beyond our current cultural filters.A society that cannot maintain long-term pair bonds will become unstable. Marriage in its various forms were always a VITAL pillar of civilization throughout human history. It is imperative that we preserve the dignity of human pair-bonds. The idea of “romantic love for everyone”, no matter how sweet it sounds, has a societal danger attached. Romantic love from a woman requires a condition few men meet, and more people these days are beginning to see that. It is imperative that we start being honest with each other and allow ourselves the tools necessary to make that standard attainable for the average man.
Chapter 2: The Big Lie
I recall a TV program that compared a man who was consistently rated very highly physically attractive – muscular, in his late twenties, tanned, sharp jawline, strong cheekbones – but was
unemployed
, with a man rated “average” in physical
