So yesterday I had broken up with my girlfriend of a year and a half, making the 4th my own personal Independence Day.

When we started dating I was very active, talked to a lot of girls, and lived an interesting life. The loneliness had gotten to me and I came across this high value woman and decided to wife her up for the time being.

We both loved each other and were very happy together when we were alone and hanging out together. However, I was no longer active, because I spent my free time with her. I no longer talked to a lot of girls because I wasn't going to cheat on her and there's not too much of a reason to be casual friends with girls in college. Finally, I no longer lived an interesting life. I had developed a lot in the relationship as a communicator and in my ability to be thankful and nice and became a force to be around socially, but had let myself go regarding the weight room and in my weight, but still look pretty damn good. There was a problem with that though. I no longer looked great, and neither did she. She had also gained 10 pounds and although I still showed her that I was still very much into her and thought she was sexy still, it was apparent she wasn't trying anymore.

So fast forward to the 4th, and I go to pick her up from a bar she was at around mid-day. She's in a sorority so she was hanging out with her friends and drinking and she negotiated to buy me platinums if I picked her up and I was excited to see her because I had been out of town leading up to this. She was telling me she was excited to see me too, and we had plans to hang out and launch fireworks together. Anyway, I pick her up and where I felt very happy to see her, she was happy too, but didn't make me feel wanted. I shrugged it off because she was drunk, but this was a repeating theme of me not feeling sexy or wanted and I was having enough of it.

You see, she did want me, and she did think I was sexy, but she had become so comfortable with me over time that real sexual urges, looks, and general desire of me had started to diminish. I had entered "boyfriend but more like a bestfriend" territory.

Then from the time that I picked her up to when I drove her and her friend to get food and drop them off, she displayed AWALT actions, which come out a lot more when she's drunk. Annoyed, I was going to simply ignore her, when I confronted her, hoping that she would say something of meaning to me and help me feel better. She couldn't, and I realized that my time had lost value. She no longer made me happy.

So I decided why should I date someone who isn't completely into me and find me sexually desirable, and ended things with her. Usually if we break up it doesn't last for very long, but she blocked me on all social media and it only made her feel more like a stranger to me because of it.

Now, I am still pretty sad about it, and wish I could've understood love better, so that it wouldn't hurt so bad that it wasn't what I thought it was. Now I have time to focus on becoming the best I can be and utilize my time to the fullest. I look forward to having random intense smashes, but won't be for a while because a part of me will be sad that it isn't her, and I need time for these feelings to heal and move on.

I decided that I no longer could take the sadness and self-loathing that comes AWALT behavior, because I will not allow myself to be so invested in someone while not being as invested in myself, because ultimately, when that happens, one is waiting to be broken up with by the girl or hurt by her. I simply chose to do it on my own terms.

Any tips to help overcome a relationship are appreciated. I hope you guys enjoyed hearing of why I went my own way yesterday, and come around next year, I hope to celebrate my independence along with the nations.