So a few months ago I was drinking at home by myself. When I ran out of whiskey I went to the nearby store to buy some more, even though I was already completely wasted. I ended up bumping into a female classmate there who said she'd just gotten off of work. She ended up driving me home and coming inside to drink a little with me. While I don't remember much because I was so hammered, I woke up next to her and we were both naked so I'm pretty sure I can figure out what happened. I ended up not talking to her after this because I am really not attracted to her and would never have done it if I were sober.

A month or so later I ended up running into her at the bars. Once again I was completely hammered and almost blacked out. I am pretty sure she was mostly sober once again. She ended up coming to my house again and getting in my bed. I continued to drink more whiskey when I got home and she did not. The last thing I remember was laying in bed with her and struggling to get her dress off. For some reason it was extremely complicated so I just gave up and we ended taking. Then I blacked out and woke up and she was gone. I messaged her to see if she got home okay, and she kinda just ignored me. About a month later she saw me in class flirting with some girls and she came up to me and requested to speak with me privately after class. When we meet she asked if I remembered anything about that night and I said no. She said apparently I was talking a lot and when she'd try to talk I wouldn't listen. Then apparently I got frustrated with her and put my hand on her neck but apparently I didn't squeeze or choke her, just told her to be quiet or something. Then she left after that. I apologized profusely while she continued to guilt me. She said it was fine and that she just wanted me to know what I was capable of or something.

Last night I ran into her at a bar again. Once again I was drunk and she was not. She saw me dancing with some girls and again came up to ask if she could talk to me in private. When we were talking she was saying things like seeing me gives her panic attacks for the first time in her life, and because of me she thinks that date rape is real. Basically an amplified version of the guilt tripping from before. She also knows a lot of the people who work at the bar and said that while we were talking there were 14 pairs of eyes on me watching my every move like I was dangerous. I've also had some of the bouncers say things like "is this the guy" very threateningly. The thing is I've never even been in a fight or gotten a traffic ticket so I'm normally a pretty safe person. I ended up leaving after that because I wasn't going to have fun after that.

I'm starting to get a little worried because I am at university, which is in an extreme mission to punish men who get accused of rape. I honestly think she just really wants the attention and it's driving her crazy that I ignored her after. I know it was wrong for me to put my hand on her neck, and i can't even remember if it happened but I'd never do it sober. What bothers me is that if I had been sober and picked up on her while she'd been blacked out drunk I'd be accused of rape in an instant. For some reason the fact that she took advantage of me when I was drunk I'm still being made into the criminal. I doubt anything will come of it, and I'll definitely remember to avoid that bar from now on. It just sucks that I have to feel like a scum bag in every situation just because I'm a man. The double standards are ridiculous.