I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a couple of years ago. Feeling jealous that she had more post-relationship partners than me (which at that time wasn't exactly an attainment a la Sir Edmund Hillary, since I had exactly zero romantic interactions after her). I came across TRP and at the time, it felt good. It felt good to channel all of my fears, insecurities and all my self-hatred externally. It felt good to take all the unrealistic expectations that society expected of me as a man and pass it on. I should mention that at the time I suffered with depression (which I later went to a doctor for). Because when you deal with it for real, it hurts. All that translates to is being angry and bigoted. The only good thing I got out of it is that I have a better understanding of how fascism and cults work. How easily I can be convinced. How, despite my internal assertions of rationality and independence, I can be duped like anyone else. I now feel ashamed and fooled.

I stopped reading TRP and kind of did my own thing. I met a girl later. Being distanced from TRP ideas, I tried the time-tested advice of being my self. I didn't try to "be alpha", I tried to respect her as a human being and an individual. Not only did I have a better interpersonal relationship with her than when I was "alpha", I was happier. I felt like I could be myself. Without misconstrued ideas of masculinity, my true self could come through. We connected as human beings, instead of me trying to play a game or treating her badly.

I was sorely wrong when I believed TRP. I am embarrassed because I've always thought I was somewhat intelligent. The reason I'm writing this is so that some other redpiller might read this and think through things.

I feel happier, more complete and much more confident than before. I hope that the women I interact with now feel better too, and not as tools to be taken advantage of.