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MensLib

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/r/MensLib: For the Development and Well-Being of Men.

Think that men sometimes get a raw deal, but don't want to associate with outright misogynists? Want to discuss men's issues, but feel like the MRM shoots itself in the foot by obsessing over feminism and SJWs instead?
Welcome to /r/MensLib.
This is a community for discussing men's issues in a way that promotes men both as individuals and as a group, without demonizing women, feminists, or proponents of social justice. We advocate for constructive solutions to problems men face, including promoting personal wellness, developing healthy relationships, and directing efforts to social and legal obstacles to male health and actualization. We recognize that men's issues often intersect with race, sexual orientation and identity, disability, and socioeconomic status, and encourage open discussion of these considerations.

Our Mission

The /r/MensLib mission is threefold.
  • To address inequities men experience through discussion, information-sharing, recruitment, and advocacy.
  • To provide a space for men wanting to push back against a regressive anti-feminist movement that attempts to lock men and women into toxic gender roles, promote unhealthy behavior, and paint natural allies as enemies.
  • To examine and dissect traditional ideas of masculinity to promote the development of men as better and healthier individuals, participants in their relationships, and leaders in their communities.


History

The Men's Liberation Movement developed out of the feminist movements of the 1960s and 70s. Recognizing the variety of ways in which patriarchal tradition has been damaging to men, the early Men's Lib movement sought to create a space for men to discuss male-specific issues and methods for promoting men's health and well-being. Today, the movement focuses on addressing the harm inflicted on men by traditional notions of masculinity in society, and acknowledges the intersectional roles of race, sexuality, and socioeconomics.

Ground Rules

/r/MensLib is a space for constructive discussion of men's issues. Moderators reserve complete discretion to maintain a positive atmosphere, including removing comments and submissions, and banning offenders.

Commenting Rules

  • Slurs and hateful speech are absolutely prohibited, including but not limited to racial bigotry, sexism, ableism, attacks based on sexuality (including sexual experience, orientation, and identity), and uncalled-for personal attacks. We count on our subscribers to report violations of this rule.
  • Be civil. Disagreements should be handled with respect, cordiality, and a default presumption of good faith. Engage the idea, not the individual, and remember the human. Do not lazily paint all members of any group with the same brush, or engage in petty tribalism.
  • This is a pro-feminist community. What this means: This is a place to discuss men and men's issues, and general feminist concepts are integral to that discussion. Our approach is intersectional and recognizes privilege as relative to the individual. If you're confused by certain terms, we'll refer you to other resources - but this isn't the place to debate terminology. What this does not mean: We don't require you to identify as a feminist, as long as you can engage with our approach in good faith and abide by our civility guidelines. Furthermore, gender-essentialism is not welcome here.
  • Do not call other submitters' personal stories of trauma into question. This is a community for support and solutions. Discussing different perspectives is fine, but you should assume good faith and adopt a sympathetic approach when members open up about personal hardships.
  • Participants: Any individuals who don't primarily identify as men are welcome to participate here. Please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men; be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their views.
  • Personally identifying information violates reddit rules and may be grounds for a site-wide ban.

Posting Rules

  • Any article or discussion pertinent to men's interests is appropriate for submission.
  • When posting an external article, please prompt the discussion by posting a top-level comment with your perspective/questions for the community/other considerations.
  • Image links must be submitted as a self-post.
  • Do not editorialize your submission headline. Generally, articles should be submitted with their original headline. Agenda-pushing submissions may be removed and the poster asked to resubmit.
  • To curb brigading, any links to reddit comments or threads must use the .np domain.

Moratoria

  • We do not discuss "financial abortion" in the context of consensual sex. More on this policy here.
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[–]Prancing_Unicorn 25 points26 points27 points  (0 children)
This is a really awful situation. It sucks that you have to deal with this. I don't mean to trivialise your experience in any way, but it made me think of that feeling you get when you're a child and someone says they're going to 'tell on you'. Even if you're 99% certain you didn't do anything wrong, that 1% left over can strike fear deep into your heart.
As an adult you learn to move past that reaction. You learn to trust yourself, and you learn to be more confident in your understanding of right and wrong in the world. Don't trust your gut. Your gut is an idiot. It thinks of all the horrible terrible things that could happen, and convinces you they're real. It will twist you up from inside. Trust your brain. Write down an exact account of the events in as much detail as possible. If this comes to any professional or legal consequences, you're going to want to be 100% clear on what you remember.
I can't tell you how to feel better, and I won't give any opinions on what is or is not consensual. Just, try to breathe, okay?
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